Q. Kelly's Author Website

"Third" Blurb Change (Again) -- Anne Is Revealed

2012-01-28T21:16:00.000-08:00

I blogged here about adjusting the blurb for "Third."

Well, guess what? The blurb, it be a' changin' again. People kept telling me to keep it mysterious, mysterious was better, that they liked figuring out in the first few chapters of the book who Anne was. That was all well and good, but I always had niggling thoughts in the back of my mind if I oughtn't be more specific.

"Third" has been on sale about a week. It's sold decently, about forty-five copies, but still behind what I'm expected to seeing for my new releases. Who knows what the reason is. Could be "Q. Kelly" fatigue because "All in the Family" was released a few weeks earlier (selling pretty well), could be that I had "Third" priced at $7.99 (I've since dropped it to $6.99 to match my other novels), could be the polyamory thing, could be the time travel thing, could be the blurb just was not enticing, or not enticing enough.

OK! New blurb, no-holds-barred reveal of who Anne is. Blurb's been swapped out at all purchasing sites. And I've already had a few people say the newer blurb makes them take more notice.

NEW BLURB:
Tudor historian Helen Franklin is horrified when her dying scientist father leaves her a most unusual inheritance: Anne Boleyn. Yep, Anne Boleyn as in Henry VIII's beheaded queen. She is a time traveler and is having trouble adjusting to the modern world. Helen tells herself she does not have time for Anne. Yalia, Helen's wife, has been distancing herself from Helen for three years, and Helen needs to decide if she wants to save their marriage.

Then the unexpected happens. A romantic relationship develops among Yalia, Anne and Helen. Can the three of them figure out their lives together, especially when time might be running out for Anne?

Readers Like Free. So Should Authors.

2012-01-28T14:13:00.000-08:00

Free definitely works, in my experience. Indie authors have much freedom and flexibility and should take advantage of that. Experiment with pricing. Experiment with freebies.

If nothing else, I recommend y'all write a short story with the sole purpose of making it free. Get it a nice cover and everything. Use the back matter to list all your other works. AND MAKE THE WORK FREE! :-)

For example, I had a short-story collection ("Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories"). It is my only gen fic work, btw. I made it free on Smashwords and BN, and in a few weeks, Amazon followed suit. "MLP" just missed being in the top 100 in the free Kindle store. Yep, the top 100 Kindle. That still blows my mind. It had barely sold anything before becoming free, so I knew I had little, if anything, to lose by making it free. It isn't free anymore (it's 99 cents now), but this collection that barely sold anything before sells at least five to ten copies a day now. PLUS making it free got "MLP" a lot of nice reviews on Amazon and most likely more visibility and awareness of my other books.

I also made "The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories" free. It didn't do as well as "MLP" on Amazon, but it did much better than "MLP" on BN and Smashwords. (Go figure.) Similar pattern to "MLP" -- more reviews, more visibility. "Old Woman" barely sold before it became free. Now it's back to its $2.99 list price and sells at least five to ten copies every day, too. I got a few emails from people who got "Old Woman" for free and bought my other books as a result. These few emails probably equate to more people who bought my other books but didn't email me.

It is important to keep in mind that freebies often work long term. Many people snatch up the free stuff and may never get around to them, or take their sweet old time getting around to them.

With my two free-short story collections having about 10,000-15,000 free downloads each, that's probably 20,000 to 30,000 readers who would not have heard of me otherwise.

Same for some of the people who downloaded "The Odd Couple" during its two-day free period on KDP Select. (KDP Select is a whole other issue. I have one book in it ("The Odd Couple"). The exclusivity clause has always bothered me, and I'm probably not renewing "The Odd Couple" when its 90-day period expires. I doubt I'll enroll another book, but I might. I'll have to see how sales of all my titles are doing at other channels first.)

Anyway!

Free is worthwhile JUST for the visibility and exposure. Really.

Gonna repeat what I said earlier: If nothing else, I recommend y'all write a short story with the sole purpose of making it free. Get it a nice cover and everything. Use the back matter to list all your other works. AND MAKE THE WORK FREE! :-)

Gorgeous!

2012-01-26T14:26:00.000-08:00

The print proof for "Third" arrived today. It is gorgeous. Along these lines, "Third" is for sale in print now!

https://www.createspace.com/3775921

It will take five to seven days to wend its way into the Amazon system, but you can buy it now from CreateSpace.

And here's another review of "Third" from Amazon:

Ann,Helen,Yalia.
Each is beautiful in her own way.
Each has some serious regrets.
You would never guess what brings these 3 women to know each other.
It's fascinating and scintillating and makes me wonder what I would change in my own history if I could.
Q.Kelly has the ability to write about situations that are just a little "twisted" or maybe that's the wrong word.
Her stories have an edge to them that might be off putting at first but then you find yourself totally intrigued, not sleeping so good because you keep turning on the light and reading some more.
I was only curious about this story until I read "maf6355"s review here on Amazon.
Hope my 5 stars helps you decide to read this book.

Unveiling the "Switch" cover -- and LIAC

2012-01-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna kill two birds with one stone in this blog post. But not live birds! Stuffed birds. No animals will ever be harmed in the making of any of my blog posts. I can pledge you that.

First up, let's unveil the "Switch" cover! It is possible minor tweaks will be made later, but this is the cover.

Here's the (very rough draft) blurb:
Ellora Elaine Landry and June Clementine Blue Sky are forty years old and have led very different lives. June, raised by hippie parents, is an out lesbian who has protected her heart since her wife deserted her five years before. Ellora, from a conservative family, is leaving her controlling, manipulative husband.

June and Ellora come together after they find out a disturbed nurse switched them when they were newborns (along with four other pairs of babies over fifteen years). Ellora finds herself falling in love in June and grappling with what her feelings mean about her sexual identity. June, meanwhile, is reluctant to risk her heart again. Will they realize that perhaps they were fated to be together since their births?

**********************************

Time for the second stuffed bird. I am a moderator for a Yahoo group nicknamed LIAC. That's short for Lesfic Independent Authors Consortium. Wow! A mouthful, right? I took over the reins recently, and it's a small group. It's made of lesfic authors who are indie or thinking about going indie. We basically support one another, share tips and relevant links, and so on. Here's the description on the front page:

Lesfic Independent Authors Consortium is a group of lesbian fiction authors who have chosen to self-publish their work (or as one of our owners puts it, be "fiercely independently published"). LIAC is set up so independent authors have a place to network with like-minded souls, share marketing tips and contacts for editors, cover designers, etc. We are colleagues, peers, and most importantly, friends. Welcome!

The link to join is here. You can participate as much or as little as you want. You can be traditionally published and still join. That's cool. Some of our members have an indie-publisher mix, and some are merely curious about going indie.

Different Perspectives of Anne

2012-01-25T19:27:00.000-08:00

*** This blog post is going to have spoilers about "Third." Be warned! :-) Don't read on if you do not want spoilers.
*** This blog post is going to have spoilers about "Third." Be warned! :-) Don't read on if you do not want spoilers.
*** This blog post is going to have spoilers about "Third." Be warned! :-) Don't read on if you do not want spoilers.

One thing I love about my books is the wonderful conversation they inspire. This has never been more true than with "Third." My other books, particularly "Strange Bedfellows" (which has the most reviews of my books by far), have led to some interesting discussions. "Third" definitely is taking the cake in depth of discussion so far, though. A few days ago, I posted a convo with Linda North.

I had another conversation earlier today with a friend of mine who has not read "Third" but is going to (once she gets her library books due soon read! ;-) ). Given her comments, I thought having a before/after conversation would be interesting. I'm not promising an "after" conversation, but I hope one will happen.

Anyway, my friend knows about this post and she is, shall we say, anti-Anne. Quite anti-Anne.

If you're new to "Third" and have no idea who this Anne is, let me slip the blurb in here for you:

Helen Franklin is horrified when her dying father leaves her a most unusual inheritance: a woman. Furthermore, the woman, Anne, is anything but ordinary. She is a time traveler with a tragic past. Helen tells herself she does not have time for Anne. Yalia, Helen's wife, has been distancing herself from Helen for three years, and Helen needs to decide if she wants to save their marriage.

Then the unexpected happens. A romantic relationship develops among Yalia, Anne and Helen. Can the three of them figure out their lives together, especially when time might be running out for Anne?

And here's the review that prompted my friend to say the things she did.

FINAL WARNING: *** This blog post is going to have spoilers about "Third." Be warned! :-)

OK, so you probably know that Benjamin Franklin is an important supporting character in "Third," but I haven't said publicly yet who Anne is. It is not a huge secret. Her identity is fairly easy to suss out in the first two chapters for people who know history well. And for people who don't, her identity is revealed in Chapter Three.

Anyway, Anne is Anne Boleyn (see portrait at right). Annnd here's the convo between my friend and me. Her part is in bold.

My biggest problem with the idea of this book is actually not the three-way relationship or even the time travel part, but the woman you chose to be your 'Anne'. I think I have a pretty good idea who she is, and while she was very smart and was able to have an entire system in the society of her time changed just for her, she was also a [bleep] and was not a friend of women. She looked for validation from men. Other women were there only to be the backs she climbed on on her way to the top. She was cruel to her husband's ex-wife and daughter. I will grant that her husband was the bigger [bleep], but she helped encourage him because it improved her standing in his eyes. Her fall was spectacular, and she pretty much reaped what she sowed. Her end was sad, and I did feel sorry for her then. Maybe you did address all of that in your book? I don't know.

It also got me thinking about the other women this Anne had a connection to in her time and was thinking that if the last three women in that group hadn't been obviously attracted to men, they would have been interesting contenders. All three had their lives ended prematurely in different ways. One of them lived a nice long time, but she was never allowed to have an romantic relationship or have children. One was young and silly but would have been traumatized enough to avoid men, and the other I think would have been the most interesting. She was smart, capable, yet had to submit all the time to what men wanted. Her one true love betrayed her with her stepdaughter. Then she died. Definitely an unfinished life!

I'll have to read your book though, I want to see how you pulled it off!

Yep, I grant Anne was cruel to Catherine of Aragon and Mary. That's addressed explicitly in the book. As for the other stuff, it's a matter of perspective and which historian you ask, although it's true Anne likely had no women friends except Lady Lee. That's in the book too. Anne didn't bother with society women's idle chatter.

Also, it's unclear if Catherine Parr's husband ever did anything with Elizabeth. May have, maybe not. That's why there's historical fic. One more thing about Anne, she was pretty much forced into doing what she did by her father. I maybe shouldn't say this (it's spoilerish) -- but after reading Tudor books, Anne realizes just how bad she was to Mary. She decides she would pick Mary over her own daughter Elizabeth to bring back to the present because she wants Mary's forgiveness so much. The ending has Anne getting Mary...kinda. You'll have to read to find out what I mean.

Well, it would be nice to have Mary I to have a redo of her life. Apparently she was a lot like Elizabeth when she was young: smart, sweet, nice. She was always nice to her younger sister until politics interfered. Emperor Shaddam IV said it best: blood is thicker than water, but politics is thickest of all! I may have not quoted exactly but you get the gist. If Mary lets go of her crystallized perspective on life, then she could grow into a new person.

As for Anne, her dad may have encouraged her to do it, but she threw herself into it. If she didn't want the prize so much, she could have had sex with Henry and told dear old dad, he made me get into bed with him, I didn't have a choice, and she would have been right. Henry would not have seen himself as an rapist; he believed enough in his charms to do that, but one doesn't refuse the king after the dance of courtship without a good reason! (I wonder if this would work, "Your Majesty, I have the clap," heh.) Men were real [bleep] back then, which brings me to Catherine P.'s husband. He may or may not have done something with Elizabeth, but his intent was clear, and once Catherine P. saw it for what it was, it had to hurt a lot.

Yeah, I have people wanting a sequel! Mary has always fascinated me. I would love to do something on her too, but I don't get the same "vibe" I do with Anne that Mary could be a lesbian. But, who knows. If I write a sequel to "Third," I imagine Mary would be in it. Probably as straight. Anyway, that's true Anne could've done all that. I can't imagine what it would've been like to be in her shoes, though. Hindsight is 20/20. And if she was a lesbian, I could see how it would be extremely easy for her to think all she had to do was not have sex for seven years and have a nice life. We have a young woman whose sister is sleeping with the king at the behest of their father, and then the sister is discarded. The father pins all his hopes on his second daughter. It must have been a confusing situation for Anne with no clear "right" path. You said men were real [bleep], and that's exactly right. We don't know what Thomas Boleyn may have threatened Anne with, or if he had more subtle ways of getting her to do his bidding. Anne was a powerless woman in a man's world, and like so many women before and after her, she lost her battle.

We don't have Anne's own words, so we'll never know why she did the things she did. "Third" is only one take (and not necessarily all what I believe, but what worked best for the story). Everyone has a different take on Anne, and that's one reason history can be frustrating and why there's that time-travel fascination to find out the truth.

Yeah it's hard to say about historical figures unless you can sit them down and interview them...and not even they know why they did some things sometimes!

Many people, historical or not, have no effing idea why they do the things they do. I don't sometimes ;-)

*** The conversation ended here, but I want to say a few more things about Anne Boleyn. She may have been a [bleep]. Or not. Or somewhere in between. From "Third," I present Tudor historian Helen Franklin's basic theory:

Helen's theory, or as she called it, her wishful thought, was that Anne was a lesbian trying to make her way in a ruthless, heterosexual world. Helen had shared this theory with no one except Yalia, long ago. She had no shred of proof to back up her theory. But one question Helen would never need to ask: Was Anne guilty of the charges the king brought against her?

Also, from Helen's book, here is the small biographical summary of Anne:

Anne Boleyn (?- executed 1536): Anne spent much of her adolescence at the court of the French king Francis I. She returned to the British court full of wit, grace and charm. She caught the eye of Henry Percy, and they secretly were engaged. Anne also became a lady in waiting to Queen Catherine. Cardinal Thomas Wolsey found out about the secret engagement and forbade a marriage. Percy was exiled from court, and Anne's father, Thomas, forced her to focus on the king. Anne's sister, Mary, was the king's mistress, and Thomas Boleyn had learned a valuable lesson. Mary had given her body up too quickly. Thomas ordered Anne to flirt with the king, to toy with his emotions and nothing more. This worked like a charm for seven years, to the point where Henry VIII turned his back on the Catholic Church. Henry would never get free of Catherine if the church had a say in it, so he founded his own religion. He married Anne in the eyes of the Church of England. Anne was pregnant and gave birth to a girl, the future Elizabeth I. Henry was sorely disappointed but envisioned more pregnancies. They came, in the form of miscarriages. A frustrated Henry contrived a scheme accusing Anne of witchcraft, incest and adultery. Anne was beheaded in 1536, after a mere three years of marriage and shortly after her predecessor Catherine's death.

Covers

2012-01-24T14:12:00.000-08:00

A book is kind of like a wispy figment. It becomes real real REAL to me when a cover comes together. The "Switch" cover has been a struggle until today. Then the designer got a concept that clicked. More than clicked. This may be my most striking cover yet. I can't wait to unveil it.

When do your books become real to y'all?

(Updated): Oh, yeah! The first review of "Third" is out. Awesome review over on Amazon. Here's the review:

When I first read the blurb for this book I had my doubts. As imaginative as the author is I wasn't sure she could bring off a story with a lead character that travels through time and becomes involved in a relationship with a married couple (lesbian) on the brink of divorce. I shouldn't have worried. Q, Kelly does a great job of making the premise plausible.

Helen Franklin and Yalia Yamato are deeply in love but their relationship is dying as a result of a trauma in Yalia's past. Helen is also experiencing a trauma with the death of her father and the discovery of what had been his life's work. It is this unwelcome discovery that brings our time traveler Anne into their lives.
Anne had been a chattel to men in her time period and with the kindness of Helen and Yalia she blossoms into her own person. She finds she has feelings for both of these women and while they recognize that she has been damaged by her past she is able to see that they too have been wounded and it is the vulnerabilities of the three women that bring them together.

The way the characters work out their feelings and handle the repercussions of travelling through time while dealing with a man who wants to control their destiny makes for a satisfying read.

Polyamory, Time Travel and Benjamin Franklin

2012-01-22T11:49:00.000-08:00

Lesbian sci-fi author Linda North ("The Dreamer, Her Angel, and the Stars" and the upcoming "Deep Merge") and I had an impromptu talk about "Third." I asked if she would mind if I put it here. She said great! So here it is. :-) Linda read "Third" and really enjoyed it.

What got you interested in polyamory? I admit, I find the subject fascinating.
Good question. I am not sure, actually. Zillions of ideas occur to me all the time. I must have some subconscious filtering system to help me decide which ideas to write about.

I remember wondering what my next book would be after "Waiting" was published. I have always wanted to write a book in which one of the leads was a Siamese twin (Ladan and Laleh Bijani inspired me), but I wasn't "feeling" it for that time. Somehow the idea of a three-way relationship popped up in my head. It takes people of tremendous self-confidence and commitment to do a healthy poly relationship, and I think such relationships are quite cool. By the time I finished "Third," I really wanted my own third!

I know a lot of people will think your book is a "sex" book, but it's not. It is a romance about two women, Helen and Yalia, in an established relationship, who have lost that closeness and spark, falling in love with a third woman, Anne. Anne in turn falls in love with both of them. Through their love for Anne and Anne's love for them, Helen and Yalia rediscover each other.

Anne is from another time. What influenced you to go with the time travel element?

Thanks for pointing that out. "Third" definitely is not a sex book, although it has sex scenes. It's about the three women's relationships with the other two women individually as well as the way the "three" relationship works as a whole.

I had a 10k-word short story with Anne and Helen that had the whole time travel thing.

The three-way idea popped up, but I also wanted to expand the short story. I was not sure which way to go (three-way or short-story expansion?) and realized I was having trouble thinking of potential subplots for both ideas. So, light bulb moment -- combine both ideas! :-)

The family Anne is from -- I had done a lot of reading about the family and watched movies, TV shows, etc. so she was one of the first people I thought of when I did that time-travel short story. For that story, I needed to find someone from history who could potentially be a lesbian. And Anne fit quite nicely, especially since she had been involved in a tragic love triangle. "Third" gives Anne the chance at a happy ending in another love triangle.

For you curious readers, I'm gonna type who Anne is, but I'll black out the name. Highlight it if you want to find out who Anne is.

Anne is Anne Boleyn.

I'm being selfish here and encouraging you to do another romance "time travel" story. Bringing a famous woman from the past to the present and pairing her with a modern woman. It doesn't have to be polyamory. I know you would have to research the person and time period she lived in, but you did that so well with Anne and her time that I actually have been reading online history about Anne.
I love time travel stuff, so I would definitely be more than happy to revisit a time-travel storyline. Since I was a kid, I have been in love with time-travel stories, especially the ones with Neanderthals. I also really enjoyed the poly part, so I'd do that again too for sure. Anne's history certainly is fascinating, but there is no denying she died way too soon. I am glad "Third" was able to give her a second chance at life.

Another time traveler in the story is Benjamin Franklin. Why him?
I went to Philadelphia about a year and a half ago on vacation. Philly is basically another word for "Ben Franklin city." Ben is everywhere, and deservedly so. That man had so many accomplishments! He was a statesman, politician, an inventor, a scientist and much more. I did not make a conscious decision to choose him, but the Philly trip probably did it. Ben was a scientist, perfect for my story. He also had an upstanding life of public service, but he also had that slightly (or more than slightly, depending on what you believe) sleazy side. I thought presenting a less-than-ideal side to Benjamin Franklin would be interesting. He's kind of a bad guy in "Third."

The Heart Is a Wonderful Creature ("Third" Is Out!)

2012-01-20T04:20:00.000-08:00

"Third" is on sale now on Amazon Kindle, Smashwords and Nook. (Print coming soon; I will update here when that is ready). I'm excited about this book, but then I'm excited about all my books.

Here are the first six and a half chapters in .pdf. No download necessary. "Third" is about 70,000 words. And here's the blurb:

Helen Franklin is horrified when her dying father leaves her a most unusual inheritance: a woman. The woman, Anne, is a time traveler with a tragic past. Helen tells herself she does not have time for Anne. Yalia, Helen's wife, has been distancing herself from Helen for three years, and Helen needs to decide if she wants to save their marriage.

Then the unexpected happens. A romantic relationship develops among Yalia, Anne and Helen. Can the three of them figure out their lives together, especially when time might be running out for Anne?

"Third" is a bit (perhaps a lot) different than my other books, and for me, that is saying something. Different on several fronts: the polyamory aspect, the time travel/sci-fi aspect and the historical fiction aspect. Three huge figures in history are characters in "Third," and a few scenes take place in the mists of time. One of the three time-traveling characters is a lead, and the second is an important supporting character who has a few POV chapters. The third character is not in the book much, although he's talked about a lot.

I think "Third" would do quite nobly in a competition for a pretty durn good cross-genre book. At its heart, though, it is a lesbian romance. Not a traditional romance, of course. That's where the polyamory part comes in. One thing I wanted to make sure I did with "Third" was show that three people can indeed fall in love like two people can, and that their feelings are just as valid. The heart is a wonderful creature, and love is a wonderful thing as well. I did not write "Third" for cheap thrills or titillation (nothing wrong with that, just was not my intent with "Third"). Along these lines, the emotional aspect of falling in love is important in "Third." This is especially so for Anne, who used to be involved in a tragic love triangle. She finds herself falling for a married lesbian couple, and her feelings horrify her.

I will probably do a blog post after "Third" has been out a few weeks explaining why I chose the characters I did. I am not doing it now because it may be spoiler-ish. It'll be a fun post! :-)

One Sentence Can Make a Difference -- Blurbs (Updated)

2012-01-13T08:28:00.000-08:00

Writing blurbs is a tricky business, no doubt. I've discussed in other posts why I changed the "Strange Bedfellows" blurb about a month after the book was published. I also discussed why I took extreme care with the "Waiting" blurb.

Well, guess what? The blurb for "Third" is changing too, by one sentence. "Third" is a multi-genre (crossover) novel, although at its core, it is a lesbian romance. No doubting it has strong sci-fi and historical fiction aspects. The original blurb didn't mention these aspects. The opinions I got back then said not to. Now, opinion (including mine) is shifting, so I added this one sentence, this one sentence only:

She is a time traveler with a tragic past.

So, the updated blurb in its entirety reads thus:
Helen Franklin is horrified when her dying father leaves her a most unusual inheritance: a woman. Furthermore, the woman, Anne, is anything but ordinary. She is a time traveler with a tragic past. Helen tells herself she does not have time for Anne. Yalia, Helen's wife, has been distancing herself from Helen for three years, and Helen needs to decide if she wants to save their marriage.

Then the unexpected happens; a romantic relationship develops among Yalia, Anne and Helen. Can the three of them figure out their lives together, especially when time might be running out for Anne?

So, anyway, I'm going to change the blurb on a few other posts here. I hope adding this sentence was the right decision! I think it was. :-)

*** UPDATED: OK, here's my new revised blurb.

Helen Franklin is horrified when her dying father leaves her a most unusual inheritance: a woman. The woman, Anne, is a time traveler with a tragic past. Helen tells herself she does not have time for Anne. Yalia, Helen's wife, has been distancing herself from Helen for three years, and Helen needs to decide if she wants to save their marriage.

Then the unexpected happens. A romantic relationship develops among Yalia, Anne and Helen. Can the three of them figure out their lives together, especially when time might be running out for Anne?

I deleted "Furthermore, the woman, Anne, is anything but ordinary." because it was not necessary anymore to say Anne was anything but ordinary. Time travelers aren't exactly ordinary, as far as I know. :-)

Quality vs. Quantity

2012-01-12T07:21:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow (probably) I will put aside "Third" for a few days to a few weeks so I can do a final read-through with fresh eyes. "Third" has been otherwise edited and is ready to go. "Third" has come a long way since the first draft that I've been posting in parts. As far as first drafts go, this is a good one. However, I doubt I'll repeat this work-in-progress experiment unless "Third" meets with tremendous sales. I'm just uneasy putting out work that hasn't been publication-polished.

Anyway, a bit daunting tomorrow ;-) And exciting. Why? All the works I've put out the past few months were already done in some form or the other. Even "Third" is based in part on a 10,000-word short story from a year or so ago. (It would've found its way into "The Old Woman" collection if I wasn't working on expanding it for publication.) "Third" came together extremely quickly, probably because I had the short story and had the novel plotted out in my head. "Switch" will be entirely from scratch. It will be great fun and interesting to see how long it takes me to write a book from scratch (writing-working full time). I am hoping six months or less because I'd like to put out two books a year. I think two books is enough to keep steady income coming in. (I hope I'm right.) But, I value quality over quantity. (I actually prefer a balance ;-) )

I'm not one of these people who labors for years over a word or a paragraph (some authors really do this, yes). I'm a practical person, a "time to move on" person.

Anyway, quality vs. quantity is an important balance for indie writers who are using their books as their sole income source. If you don't write enough, you might stop making enough money to keep you afloat. But if you write crappy stories, people will stop buying your work. I can make my readers this promise: I will never put out work that is not the best it could be. At the same time, I know how to write well and economically. I also have the advantage of writing full time, and my writing experience has helped me learn how to write faster without sacrificing quality.

Thank goodness! :)

I hope to unveil the "Switch" cover in a few weeks. Should be an awesome one.

Indie Update #2

2012-01-11T06:22:00.000-08:00

I blogged here about why I decided to go indie, and I had an update here on how I was doing. Time for another update, with the New Year and all.

My indie situation is, in a word, fab. Ooh, not even a full word! ;-) Fab may be a weee optimistic, but I don't think so.

Why fab?
-- My work's begun to win awards and might win more yet in 2012 (for the 2011 publication year) or be finalists. Awards are important to me in one way because of the stigma some people attach to being indie. The awards I won show my work is just as good as the publishers' work. I hope this quiets some people who wouldn't read my stuff.

-- The tangible greens. As of this writing, I am able to support myself entirely on my indie writing income. If need be, I could support my wife as well. I took a risk last week and passed on a teaching job. The pay actually would have been lower, and I have a M.S. in deaf education. I am getting paid to write, to do what I love. Writing clicks for me on all cylinders.

-- The little perks (or not so little perks). To wit: sleeping in, taking breaks whenever, eating lunch whenever, exercising whenever, no commute. And the little surprises: One big publisher said "Waiting" was not marketable, and it's my huge seller. I love these kinds of surprises.

It amazes me every day how little I made in three years with a regular publisher and how I make enough now to write full time. I never thought it was possible, especially in the lesbian fiction niche. It IS possible. I'm not the only lesfic indie writing full time. Publishers really are taking authors for granted by offering such low royalties. You would've seen that one reason I bypassed a publishing contract was because the publisher would not go beyond 30 percent NET on ebook royalties. (Net means after everyone else has had their cut.) I wanted to go up to 50 percent net, but even at 50 percent net, I wouldn't be able to support myself like I am doing now.

Going indie is a viable, viable choice. I've had a few authors contact me, some big-name authors, and ask me for tips and advice. Authors with publishers, if you're hesitant about signing your next contract, then don't. Chances are, your contract has a provision that says you can sign elsewhere if you find a better deal. Indie automatically gives you a better deal. You can do indie and still keep your day (or night) job. It will just take longer to publish than if you did it full time, but even working part time, you'd probably get your work out months before the publisher would have. You'll start making money on it sooner. Also, the rights to your works are yours. You keep making money on them until you die. And you get much more in the way of royalties. I think established authors are the perfect candidates to do well indie because they already have the fanbase. (I'll put my usual disclaimer here and say going indie is not for everyone. I can definitely see situations where it wouldn't work. But, as I said, it's a viable choice and becoming viablerererer by the day. Doing mixed publisher/indie is another viable choice.)

Wow, I got off track.

Back on track ;-) I'm not deluded enough to think this will last forever. It might. Ideally, it would. If it doesn't, I am glad I had this window out of a "normal" work life. I wouldn't trade what I'm doing now for the world. I want to take this opportunity to thank my readers and others who have helped me along this path. Thank you for giving me a chance, and I promise to do my best to keep putting out high-quality, intricate stories.

But first, my frappy run! :-)

Piracy Chatter

2012-01-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

The lesfic world has been especially abuzz lately with piracy chatter. Authors are sending takedown notices left and right and beating their chests. Here's my take on the matter.

I noticed maybe a month ago that one of my works was being pirated. Another author I am fairly close with had a work being pirated on the same site, too. I informed her, and we had an interesting chat.

Bottom line: it is doubtful that sending takedown notices does any good. All it does is sap energy you would otherwise spend writing and promoting. I am basically looking at the matter like this: as a compliment that people think my work is good enough to be pirated. Has sending takedown notices and legal threats ever cut down on piracy? Not to my knowledge but maybe I am wrong. Pirates just shift their operations and get more sneaky.

In the meantime, I will keep writing and putting out good stuff. My sales are great, and so are the majority of my readers. People who pirate and who read pirated stuff are always gonna find ways to do what they do. I am not going to waste my writing energy on them. In this day and age, piracy is a natural side effect of being an author. Just have to deal with it. I'm a practical person, and I choose to use my time to do what I want to do: write novels, not write futile takedown notices.

Maybe I'm being naive. Maybe these notices really do work.

How To Start Indie Right -- Because I'm Selfish

2012-01-09T18:02:00.000-08:00

I am selfish. Yep. I'm selfish. There ya have it. Selllllfish. I sell fish. Trout, bass, salmon.

No. I'm selfish. I don't like fish, don't care to sell it. Not even shellfish ;-)

And I cringe when I see an indie author put out inadequate work. Oh heck, let me pull out my French translation book: I cringe when I see an indie author put out sh****tty work. My French is eloquent, eh? Anyway, how people perceive that author affects how people perceive me. For better or for worse, many people lump indies together. However, that lumping is beginning to change, thank goodness.

In any case, this blog post is for indie authors, new and established, so people perceive you better. And thus, perceive selfish ol' fish-seller me better. Win-win situation, right? :)

1. That book you wrote and you think is great? The work agents and/or publishers rejected, telling you that you need to improve your writing? Yeah, that work. Guess what? There's a reason it was rejected with such a specific explanation.

Get busting. Read at least five writing books. I could be mean and say ten, but five will do for starters. Take writing classes if you can.

But what if you never submitted to agents or publishers? How do you know your work is good? Simple. Use the checklist below.

Checklist:
- I have never read a writing book, never taken a writing class, etc.
- This is my first book.

If you meet the above two criteria, 99.999999999999 percent chances are your work is a fine, fetid foaming craptastic gooey ball of fish. If you think you're in the 0.000000000001 percent, take your work to a critique group. Or a writing professor at a nearby college. You don't need the whole thing, just the first few pages. Heck, try Evil Editor's New Beginnings here. Wait times are minimal, and you only need the first few paragraphs of your work. It astounds me that people think they can write without training. You would not want someone with no experience cutting your hair, right? Or cutting your liver out. Same concept. Believe me, I used to be like you. I decided one day to write and gave no thought to needing writing books or any of that. I sure could have used my handy ol' two-point checklist back then. Woulda saved me lots of cussin' at publishers.

Don't argue if/when that writing professor, your critique group and Evil Editor and his minions tell you that your work is awesome, as in awesomely craptastic. Push yourself to improve. Then (most likely) put that first book away. Write book #2. You'll need considerable skill to revise book #1, and that skill won't come until later, maybe not until book #5 even. Also, there is no shame in starting short by writing short stories first.

**** Now, if your work was rejected because it wasn't marketable, or some reason along these lines, your work is especially suited for the indie world. (If you haven't read five books on writing, though, get busting.)

2. Your covers. Dearie me, presentation is important. You got your work the best it could be, so why make the outside amateurish or unprofessional? You want your cover to be the best it can be, too. If paying a cover designer $100 is absolutely not doable for you, fork over $25 or $35 for a premade cover. Heck, use the Amazon Kindle black and green "stand-in" cover if you have to. And once you have the $100, you know what to do with it. That's right, send it my way! Thank you very much :-D

**** Tip: If your book isn't selling, look at the cover. Ask for brutally honest opinions. Also look at your blurb. Is it clear? Is the grammar correct? Is the conflict there?

Why I Am Not Reading Reviews Anymore

2012-01-08T06:58:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, some authors on one of my lesfic Yahoo groups said they do not read reviews of their own works. I was astonished, not because they did not read the reviews (I can think of many good reasons authors don't), but that in today's age of information at your fingertips and inadvertent slippage, that they were able to avoid this.

Now I think it can be done, and I'm joining their ranks. It was not a decision I made lightly, and my thought process might be of interest to you.

It basically started with my "Miss Lucy Parker" collection. This collection elicited strong, negative feelings in a vocal minority of people. I got a couple of horrid attack emails. Then an anonymous review popped up at BN. It said: "

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Ii hate this book. Dont make another one."

Now, if people hate my work, that's fine. But good reviews explain why, all that jazz. Readers are discerning enough to know a good review from a bad one, but this so-called review really sent me into a funk. It was the only "MLP" review on BN, too. I reported the review and a few other people did, too. But it's still there. I actually considered pulling some (or all) of my works from BN because of its review policy. My BN sales are a tiny part of my overall sales, so the hit would have been minimal. Anyone anonymous can post reviews, and they don't even need to put text. Reviews can be starred and nothing else. This is an issue I've had with some other BN reviews of my works. Goodreads allows this system too, but at least a name has to be with the review. Amazon also has pennames, but the reviews are linked. BN's system leaves much to be desired. Anyway, in the end, I decided to give readers credit for their own brains and kept my works on BN.

Anyway, then there were a few other review issues with the same work and other works, other sites. I got to the point where I decided reading my reviews was not worth it. I would get all angsty and depressed when I should be focusing on my WRITING.

So this is my plan of action. I can see sales numbers without having to look at reviews, which is cool. But not sales ranks. If I want to know a book's sales rank on Amazon or BN, I'll ask my wife to look it up for me. I'll uncheck the Smashwords notification option that lets me know my work has been reviewed. If one gets through, I just won't read the review. Now, I WILL ask my wife to make the rounds once a in a while and read reviews. If she finds a good one (including ones that have constructive feedback--I'm not fragile enough that I can't handle constructive feedback) I will ask her to send them my way. I DO want to know what readers think about my work and what might have been a weak spot(s). Along these lines, I still love getting reader emails (other than the attack emails). Some of the emails have pointed out what they thought were weaknesses, and that's fine. As long as it's constructive and justified, ya know?

Anyway, I think I can do it, even in this day and age. :-)

**** I really do appreciate readers who take the time to post thoughtful and constructive reviews. Please keep it up! Chances are I will see these reviews eventually through my wife :)

Defying Genre

2012-01-02T15:29:00.000-08:00

Someone in one of the lesfic Yahoo groups I am in recently said that there are not enough lesfic books that address alcoholism. Bridget Bufford in her novel, Minus One: A Twelve-Step Journey, breaks from the crowd in this respect (and in lots other respects). That's Bridget in the picture below.

She is also big on writing workshops. I write solitary and don't think I'd do as well in a group. I don't feel the need for that sort of motivation, so it was interesting for me to hear about how workshops benefit her and how she runs them. One thing I really liked is that diversity in her workshops is important to her. I could not agree more!

I'm thrilled to have her here for a bit! :)

So, introduce yourself and your books.
I am Bridget Bufford, a writer and creative workshop facilitator in Columbia, Missouri . Much of my life has been spent in the Midwest , which influences my settings and characters. Both of my books to date have Missourians as protagonists.

My first book, Minus One: A Twelve-Step Journey (Haworth Press), chronicles a lesbian woman’s first year of sobriety. Terry Manescu is a self-absorbed, sometimes violent drunk who manipulates women through her charm and physicality, but once the drinking erodes her self-control, she seeks help through AA. Her journey toward recovery is sexually charged and filled with both despair and hope. Minus One was a Lambda Literary Awards finalist and will soon be released as an ebook by Untreed Reads.

Cemetery Bird (Casperian Books) alternates between Midwest and Southwest as Jay Aubuchon, a US Forest Service Hotshot, reconnects with the family she fled in her teens. Upon her return, she helps to care for her brother’s son Brandon, a minimally verbal teen with autism. Recently nominated for a Pushcart Prize, Cemetery Bird is available through the publisher and online outlets.

I love the sound of your books! I write on gritty topics as well, and some people have given me flak for it. Do you get any criticism for the tough topics you tackle?
What some people find harsh, others find brave. For Minus One, I won a Catalyst Award from an LGBT group at the University of Missouri. The presenter's speech ran thus:

"I'm a very big fan of giving voice to the voiceless, of facing down our demons – both personal and on a larger level, of breaking silences, and this next Catalyst recipient has done just that. In her latest artistic endeavor she has fearlessly addressed lesbian drug and alcohol addiction and same-sex domestic violence, and the intimate glimpses into addiction and recovery can serve as both tools and inspirations for all of us. She says that this work was created as a love letter to 12-step programs, but I say it is more than that – it is also a light for any who feel lost in the darkness. There are those that would say that our community silently endorses and encourages hiding our problems, out of fear that we will only be known for our pain and struggles, and not our strengths and victories. I say that we are sick to death of being silent, on all levels, including our problems, and that addressing them is both strength and victory. I feel that she would agree with me, and it is my honor and privilege to award Lambda Literary Award finalist, author of Minus One, Bridget Bufford, with a 2005 Catalyst Award."
John Doerflinger, 2005 Catalyst Awards (used by permission)

That's great. So what kind of writer would you say you are?
Primarily a novelist, and if I had to pick just one descriptor, I’d call my writing literary. My hope is that my books defy genre. The characters of Minus One are largely lesbian, but at heart it’s a book about addiction and recovery. The characters of Cemetery Bird are largely heterosexual, but it’s a book about finding common experience in the face of cultural difference, mental illness, disability. The protagonist of Rough Guidelines, the manuscript I’m currently pitching, is a lesbian social worker, and the story line revolves around her interaction with clients in her therapy group.

I put three to five years into writing a novel, and I can only do that when the story explores a compelling issue. My work in progress is a adaptation of Pinocchio, recasting the Blue Fairy as a drag queen and Geppetto as a gay man who can’t have kids in the conventional way, so he carves one. The central question there is “What is a real boy?”

Minus One asks: what happens when a woman becomes abusive? Do you shun her, or give her another chance? Do you stop caring about someone when they act like that? Though the book is about recovery, those are the questions that kept me invested.

With Cemetery Bird, the question became one of estrangement—once someone becomes so profoundly isolated from her own sense of family and community, what will it take for her to reconnect with her own life?

Three to five years is certainly a substantial investment. No doubt it shines through in the finished product. Do you write full time?
I hope the final quality reflects the number of drafts each piece goes through, which is at least three and more often five or six.

I work as a landscaper, and during the growing season I don’t get much writing done outside of workshops. For the past twelve years I have been leading weekly workshops in the Amherst Writers & Artist’s Method, so I do much of my first draft during our sessions. In the winter I’m laid off, so I type up those scenes, develop transitions and refine the story arc.

I really like writing in a workshop, for the same reason that I love working out in a gym. The energy in a group is higher and more sustaining than writing alone, and workshop writing tends to be more inspired than solitary writing.

So how is your ideal workshop set up? For example, are the writers all in the same room when they write?
A good workshop can offer the best possible writing experience. Unlike an academic setting, where efforts are immediately judged, in a workshop the writings are supported and encouraged. In my workshop we do that by using the AWA Method, which creates an environment of support and safety.(http://www.amherstwriters.com/workshops/the-awa-method.html) I began leading groups in 1996 and took the AWA training in 1999.

We meet in the lower level of my home, which has a separate entrance into a small room with the coat rack and coffee/tea setup. The next room resembles a family room, with plenty of seating plus tables and desks for those who prefer to withdraw from the group to write.

I give a prompt; we all write for twenty minutes, then reconvene to read and respond. By focusing our responses upon the strengths of the work, the group gives each participant a chance to build upon those assets and cultivate his or her unique writing voice.

Something I really prize in a group is diversity—in experience, education, age, genre, gender identity, sexual orientation, race, culture. We can all learn from each other. Diversity can be hard to achieve in this Midwestern college town, but when we do it makes a difference.

If a writer can't do a workshop, particularly an in-person workshop, for whatever reason, what are some possible alternatives?

AWA workshops have been a godsend to me in terms of my own writing process and also in acquiring a local writing community, but obviously they don't work for everyone. Other options include online critique groups and classes, or online writers’ groups like Golden Crown Literary Society and Virtual Living Room. With the advent of the internet, even the most isolated writer needn’t lack a sense of community.

My website, with links to both books:
http://www.bridgetbufford.com/index

Cemetery Bird press kit:
http://bridgetbufford.com/CBpresskit-Print.pdf

"All in the Family" Is Available in Ebook and Print (Updated with Nook and Print Info)

2012-01-01T14:40:00.000-08:00

The big day is here!

"All in the Family" in ebook is available at Amazon, Smashwords and Barnes and Noble.

You can also get "All in the Family" in print here OR here or contact me for an autographed copy (or an unautographed copy). It will be available in print at Amazon in about five days (will update with the link here too).

You can read the first four chapters here.

Here's the blurb: Allison Albrecht and Samantha Cannizarro are thrown together when their parents become engaged. Sam is deaf, so Allison begins to learn sign language. Allison is eager to please Sam and to make a good impression on her. Sam does not care about good impressions. She is a loner, always has been. She resents her new instant family, especially her stepmother-to-be. Sam is also reluctant to bond with three-year-old Allen. However, Allison and Allen gradually crack Sam's facade, and the two girls fall in love.

But life in a stepfamily is rarely easy. Throw in romance between two stepsiblings, and the ride is going to be bumpy.

**** For "All in the Family" and Goodreads people: I see "All in the Family" has made its way into the Goodreads database.

One favor: when/if you add it, please add the 2012 edition. I sent an email to the librarians asking for the two to be combined. I emailed Amazon yesterday asking for the 2011 publication date to be changed. This is frustrating because I purposefully waited until 2012 to publish because of yearly awards seasons. I also purposefully waited until well into the morning (10 or so) Jan. 1 EST before beginning the publishing process. This way, there would be no confusion with PST and other time zones. Other sites list a Jan. 1 publication date. Amazon doesn't, and I'm baffled as to why. Really hope this error is fixable and/or that the awards committees won't disqualify it. Anyway, enjoy! Or I hope you do ;-)

2012: Writing, Teaching, Or...?

2011-12-29T13:10:00.000-08:00

R.G. Emanuelle at Women and Words asked about writing goals for 2012. I went: "Hmm." Writing goals were something I had not thought about, which is kind of foolish, considering writing is what I do now. I guess I'm just good at planning unconsciously. I am a dang good planner and dang good at saving money, too.

Anyway, this is what I wrote over there: "Goals, huh? I had not thought about this, but I should! So thanks for the question. Hmm, I guess my goals (especially if I decide not to do teaching in the fall) are to get “Switch” finished and published in 2012. I have gotten much better at writing speedily (though writing full time helps), so my #1 writing goal is to basically continue putting out quality works at a good pace, which in turn leads to me continuing to be able to live entirely on my indie writing income."

That's it, basically ;-) I'm torn on whether I want to do teaching, especially since it means a move to a different city. I really like what I have going now, and if/when I teach, my writing is going down dramatically. The next few months will be pivotal in my decision.

"All in the Family" Proof Arrived

2011-12-29T09:38:00.001-08:00

Here's a picture of my overthrilled weiner dog (and bookend) with the AITF proof. :-)

DRM License Plate

2011-12-29T08:55:00.000-08:00

Earlier today, I saw this on a license plate: DRM EVIL.

Hmmm ;-) Wonder if it speaks of the same DRM we luvvvv (speaking sarcastically).

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Once Upon a Time

2011-12-28T15:15:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be working on "Third," and I am. I swear I am! I have, however, taken the past week off, so easing back into work is sometimes not smoooooove for me. A little blog post usually helps me get into a more worky-work girl framework of mind, so here goes.

Part of the second-draft revisions I am doing for "Third" include switching the first and second chapters (and making the corresponding chronological changes). The first line of Chapter Two (the old Chapter Two, now Chapter One) read: "Anne awoke at six a.m." I knew I'd have to change that. Starting with an awakening scene is usually a big no-no. Besides, I can think of many better ways to hook a reader than that line.

My thinking on first lines...hmm. They're like everything else. Take care with them. Put forth the best line possible, but don't overthink it (or the first page). The book as a whole has to be good. That said, a bad first line and a bad first page will cause me to put a book down and read no more.

Here are the first paragraphs (with my comments below them) from my works so far. The short-story collections are not included.

"The Odd Couple": Morrisey Hawthorne could not believe June had come already. It did not seem possible that two months had passed since her father's heart attack. She had shivered through his funeral in April, had put up with overcast skies and that miserable, gray drizzle. Now the sky was blue and unblemished. The sun was out in full force for what promised to be a hot summer filled with trips to swimming holes and quality time with Gareth. But Morrisey wanted to go back to April—to April 20th. She could have stopped by her parents' house that day while her mother was out shopping. She could have called 911 and maybe...well, maybe her father would not have died alone.

My comments: The opening paragraph from my first published book has a bit of weather stuff, but I give it a purpose. It is not overkill. Writing books generally say to avoid weather-ish opening scenes. Is this the best first line/first paragraph ever? Nope, but at least there was a point to the weather references. Can you tell this is my first published book? Maaaayhaps.

****

"Strange Bedfellows": Frances hoped the prostitute would have alcohol. Surely she would. The other one, from three years ago, had. Every time. Besides, the agency had asked again about Frances's drinking preferences for a reason, right? High class, the agency. Their people knew that drinking preferences could change in three years. Not hers, though. A rum and Coke would hit the spot exactly, calm her nerves. She would have one glass. Maybe two. If she really needed a third, fine. Any more, and she refused to risk driving home.

My comments: Not bad, especially the first line. The opening few pages to "Strange Bedfellows" were something I kept changing. Heck, "The Odd Couple" first few pages too.

****

"Waiting": Caris sighed, trying not to say her wife's name, even if it was just in her mind. But she could not help it. Dale. Dale. Where are you? There's no excuse. It's 10 a.m.!

My comments: This was an opening I didn't sweat as much as the above two. It's generally not a good idea to open with a "thoughts" scene, but it works for "Waiting."As long as the interiority is compelling, I say go for it. Here, a mystery is raised: Where is Caris's wife? Also, why is Caris so scared she won't say aloud her wife's name?

****

"All in the Family" (publication begins January 1, 2012): Allison did not like the woman with the big black hair who bounced into The Addict a moment ago. Allison's dislike was not because of the nasal Jersey-accented voice that made her want to invest in good earplugs. Nor was the dislike because the woman, braying with laughter at her own indecision, kept changing her order, from a black coffee to a latte to a cappuccino then back to a plain coffee with a brownie.

My comments: You're generally supposed to write in "positives" language, not "negatives" language. This is to say that instead of writing: "He could not afford a car," you might want to write: "A bike was all he could afford." Something like that. So why is the AITF opening kind of a Negative Nellie? Well, this opening paragraph definitely has a purpose, which becomes clear quickly. One thing I've noticed about my openings is that I try to raise questions readers would like to see answered. Breaking the rules is fine as long as you do it with conscious purpose.

****

"Third" (rough draft): Anne's teeth used to be bad, so she had a workaround for when she brushed them. No matter that her teeth were marvelous now. In her mind, they would always be worn little pebbles. Her workaround was simple: no looking in the mirror. Anne wandered through her apartment, taking in the library, the neatly stacked books, the many paintings she had done and the living room with the security guard, who was usually Jordan. When she was almost finished brushing her teeth, she went back down the hallway. Afterward, Anne usually took a long, luxurious bath, complete with bubbles. This morning was no different except that after her bath, Anne used a Ped-Egg to touch up her heels.

My comments: This is a rough-draft opening. Could be risky. I mean, opening with bad teeth? Um...really? Bad teeth? But then again, back to the "unanswered questions." Why did Anne have bad teeth? Why are her teeth marvelous now? Why does she have a security guard in her living room? Is he related to the teeth?

I liked the old opening better. Maybe after "Third" is published, I'll explain why I switched the first two chapters. Here's the old opening (now begins Chapter Two):

Helen would have to kiss Devon good night. No doubt about it; after three dates, Devon had been giving Helen certain looks, certain touches. Helen tried to focus on her dinner—chicken and baked potato—but could not taste the food. The chicken probably was good; it was thick, succulent and juicy. And Devon was nice, with kissable lips: full and pouty. In other circumstances, kissing them would be no tragedy.

****

Well, OK then. This is my cue to get back to work on "Third." :-D

The Strange, Unpredictable Creature That Is Sales

2011-12-27T14:34:00.000-08:00

Two blog posts from me in one day? Wow. Lucky you ;-) Fact is, my wife left a few hours ago for a several-days trip to West Virginia. Without her lounging around (and causing me to want to lounge around too), I feel the need to be halfway productive among all my Wii gaming sessions.

So!

Sales is a strange beast. You truly never know what will happen. Take "Harry Potter" for example. Or John Locke's books and Amanda Hocking's books. I am sure that many books just as good (or better) have languished on the sales pile. (This goes for TV, too. Many critically acclaimed shows do not get many viewers, while reality TV gets more eyeballs than an eyeballs factory. Disclaimer: I love "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." Commence egg throwing at me.)

Another digression! Since I typed "Creature" in the title, all I can think about is this thing I did a while ago (see picture on right). Might as well use this creature to represent the sales beast ;-)

Now, in the other blog post I did today, I tacked on an addition about sales. Here's the addition in its entirety:

*** Edited: Someone reminded me about the sales metric as regards promotion. Being deaf has not hurt me here either. My sales are very, very good. "Waiting" in particular I have to thank for letting me write full time. Since shortly after it was released, "Waiting" has been a mainstay in the Amazon top 20 lesfic and was even in there twice a few times as a print book and e-book. It outsells my other books combined and accounts for about 60 percent of my overall revenue.Why? I have a few theories (maybe that's a subject for another post) but bringing this back to the issue of me being deaf, the fact that I've been able to cut down on my other work and write full time pretty much tells you that being deaf is not hurtful at all. Again, the writing speaks for itself.

(End of addition)

I thought it might be interesting to analyze why some books do well and others not so well. I can tell you it's frustrating.

I released "Strange Bedfellows" in ebook at the end of August (print in September). I asked reviewers to do .... REVIEWS. Yes! Reviews. I could've asked the reviewers to cook for me or juggle clowns, but what they do is reviews ;-) So, some did reviews, and I got several reviews without asking for them. All reviews were overwhelmingly good. Great critical acclaim, yadda yadda. So how were sales? Not as good as I had hoped. "Strange Bedfellows" dipped in and out of the lesfic top 100 (it did hit #1 in Germany at one point for both gay and lesbian English books, which thrilled me to no end. However, there are not many German buyers). I'll admit I was discouraged. One thing that kept popping up was that readers thought from the blurb that the book was a comedy. I reworked the blurb to lend it a more-serious tone ("Strange Bedfellows" a comedy? Far from it).

OLD BLURB: What happens when the queen of the ex-gay movement decides to come out of the closet? The person who helps Frances Dourne with this enormous task is a call girl Frances hires. A call girl with a secret of her own. Can they learn to trust each other enough to find the love they seek in each other's arms?

NEW BLURB: Frances Dourne is apparently a shining example for ex-gays. She runs Gay is a Choice, a national ex-gays group. What people do not know is that she is deeply unhappy. She is ready to come out of the closet and be true to herself. She seeks help and feedback--and okay, maybe a sexual treat or two--from a high-class call girl.

Elena, the call girl, wants to escape from the realities of her past, and her job allows her to do so. She never gets attached to her clients, but her new client surprises her. Can Elena and Frances learn to trust each other enough to find the love they seek in each other's arms?

Sales picked up for about a week, then returned to the previous position.

Well, dang. Color me frustrated. I knew I had a great book, so why were people not buying it? I knew one factor was a backlist. The more books I had out, the more sales would go up (for all the books). I also felt the subject matter might have something to do with it. The main characters are an ex-gays group leader who is finally admitting she is gay and readying to come out AND a high-class call girl. These snapshots may have turned readers off to the point where readers would not bother to read the book reviews.

So, OK. This made me very fearful for "Waiting," which I envisioned coming out in mid-October. If the "Strange Bedfellows" blurb turned off people, I was dang tootin' sure the "Waiting" blurb would, too. Here's the blurb:

Caris Ismay, 30, is falling in love with a woman she dares not pursue, and at exactly the wrong time. Caris knew that life after having her baby would be different, especially since her wife did not love her anymore. But Caris never expected post-baby life to be this difficult. Dale, her wife of three years, is in a coma that turns into a vegetative state. Lena, Dale's 29-year-old daughter, is put in the awkward position of revealing Dale's secrets to Caris.

Caris and Lena share a perfect, passionate kiss that they cannot stop thinking about. Plus, they can help each other in ways no one else can. They try to build a friendship, but their growing attraction gets in the way. Can Caris and Lena move past the taboo of their attraction and find their path together?

I posted earlier versions on Facebook to get feedback. My immediate concerns were thus: how to get across that Caris, while, yes, she is Lena's stepmother, did not raise Lena, is about the same age as Lena, etc. to get rid of some/any "ick" factors people might have. Plus the fact that Caris is married -- how to get across in the blurb so it doesn't turn people off if they think she is cheating on her wife, and with her wife's daughter of all people?

The feedback I got from the people on Facebook helped me tweak the blurb to the italicized version above. I still thought it was likely to turn people off (some people said in the comments it bothered them). Nothing I could do, though. The story, and the plot, was what it was, and I was proud of "Waiting."

I was thoroughly prepared for sales at the same level as "Strange Bedfellows" or lower.

So, while I was getting "Waiting" ready for publication, I was working on the reissue of my first book, "The Odd Couple." It had been in print before but never ebook. I revised/improved it for a second edition (print and ebook) and released it about two weeks before "Waiting." Its sales were about the same as "Strange Bedfellows."

So, "Waiting" came out. It did decently the first couple of weeks. Better than "Strange Bedfellows," which I had expected in part because of the base I'd built with "Strange Bedfellows." (There was a three-year separation between the first issue of "The Odd Couple" and "Strange Bedfellows.)

Anyway, so, "Waiting" even got to #3 on Amazon lesfic before doing a swan dive out of the top 100 lesfic.

Then something happened. "Waiting" started to climb again. And again. And again. Until, bless my excited little heart, it hit the big number 1 in Amazon U.S. lesfic. Stayed there four days, and since then it has been a mainstay in the Amazon top 20 lesfic. The print edition even appeared in the top 100 lesfic, so I had "Waiting" there twice at the same time.

Meanwhile, sales of "Strange Bedfellows" and "The Odd Couple" had about doubled, but "Waiting" still outsold them combined. This is not to say "Strange Bedfellows" and "The Odd Couple" don't sell well. They are, more often than not, in the Amazon top 100 lesfic. But the phenomenon that is "Waiting" -- wow. I do not know how or why it happened, but it did. At the same time, I was (and am) thrilled and frustrated. "Strange Bedfellows" is just as good, I think, and deserves equal sales. (I did not expect too much for "The Odd Couple" because it had been out three years already. In this respect, its ebook sales are pleasantly surprising me. It's reached a totally different audience, I suppose.)

"Strange Bedfellows" then won two incredible awards. ("Waiting" was published too late for me to enter it -- next year I'll enter it). Did "Strange Bedfellows" sales pick up? No, not really, but "Waiting" continued plugging on.

So, let me toss around some theories for the sales disparity.

1) It may be as simple as someone told me: some books (or things) take on a wonderful, strange life of their own due to many lucky factors coming together. You can never know why for sure.

2) Maybe "Strange Bedfellows" just needs more time. I'm an indie author, and one big joy in this is that the rights are mine as long as I live (and then some). Maybe a few years from now, "Strange Bedfellows" will (see #1 above) pick up and do lots of leapfrogs.

3) Could be as simple as the fact that the ex-gay group leader/call girl thing simply turns some people off. However, there remains the fact "Strange Bedfellows" IS a top-100 seller. So I think the focus here really is not on why "SB" doesn't sell better but on why the heck "Waiting" sells so damn well.

4) Taboo? Could it be that what I thought might turn off readers (a stepmother/stepdaughter relationship) actually enticed them? One reader told me that she picked up "Waiting" because she wanted to see how these two women fell in love despite the sad times they were going through. It may just be that what I feared would hurt "Waiting" -- its plot -- is responsible for its tremendous sales.

It will be interesting to see how sales for "All in the Family" do (release next week!). Two stepsisters fall in love. Not as so-called taboo as "Waiting" (the stepsisters meet when they are 16 and 17, and the book continues until they are 23 and 24), but still a relationship some people might call taboo. So, these sales figures will be interesting.

5) Covers. It may be that the "Waiting" cover evokes something in readers that the "Strange Bedfellows" cover does not.

That Deaf Lesbian Writer

2011-12-27T12:22:00.000-08:00

OK, so earlier I did a post on how being deaf shaped my writing. This post will talk about how being deaf affects me as a writer. Lots of practicalities to consider here, such as promotion. Has my being deaf helped my promotion, hurt it, been neutral or...? I am an indie author, and promotion was a huge consideration when I was debating whether to sign the publishing contract I had in front of me or go indie. Not only am I deaf, I am an introvert. Uh oh! ;-)

The bottom line is, I'm generally a positive person. I believe strongly that people make their own luck, so my answer is: Being deaf has helped me in terms of promotion. First, though, let's talk about the cons, the bad stuff. Because people like the bad stuff! ;-)

Cons

-- I have plenty of promotional opportunities, and some I have not been able to use yet (if I will at all) because these opportunities are oral through and through. The folks at Cocktail Hour do podcasts and bar rags (listen to my "Strange Bedfellows" podcast here). Bar rags include readings authors send in themselves. Readings are from books, and the Cocktail Hour people have been urging me to send some in. I want to, but the fact is, it's really up to my wife/her schedule. She'll be the one reading, and I have no intention of pressuring her/rushing her, especially when she does so much for me already. And I love the woman! For Christmas, she got me the bestestestest gift I have gotten in a long time: a cardboard cutout of Queen Elizabeth II. Above is a pic of me with Her Majesty.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in doing a reading(s) for me, let me know! :)

-- Some loss of control. When we do oral interviews, I have to let go and put a lot of trust into my wife. She's worthy of it, but there are going to be (and have been) times when she answers a way I would not have. She readily admits she isn't the best at thinking quickly, on her feet. I am -- usually.

-- I can't listen to the oral interviews and see areas for improvement. My wife hates the sound of her voice (the West Virginia southern draaaaawl, she says), so she doesn't listen, either. I hope we're presentable. People say we are.

Pros/neutrals:
-- I may stand out more because I am deaf. Ya know, like people say: "That deaf writer" or "that deaf lesbian writer." In some areas of the lesbian community (and/or the d/Deaf community), I, Q. Kelly, probably am the only one who meets this definition.

-- The Internet is wonderful. Awesome. Stupendous. I can get so much marketing and promo work done from my computer. Some interviews are done online only (such as through email and chat), and it's easy to email reviewers and ask them to consider doing my work. Facebook, Twitter, G+ and other sites make networking easy.

-- I may have a bit of a bigger audience in the d/Deaf community for my work (especially for "All in the Family," which has a deaf main character).

-- My wife! She has been more than happy to do oral interviews for me and to help with in-person promotion at such venues as Pride festivals.

The bottom line, though...
-- My writing speaks for itself (signs for itself?). Quality work is much more likely to get recognized than substandard work. Going through my reviews tells you I can run with the big gals (not to brag). "Strange Bedfellows" was published about a couple of weeks before the Rainbow Awards. I didn't know about this awards thing until I happened to see something on Facebook. I hurriedly nominated "Strange Bedfellows" (the only book published before the deadline). "Strange Bedfellows" ended up in a tie for second for best traditional lesbian romance and FIFTH-best lesbian book overall. This still blows my mind. What I am trying to say here and what may not be coming across is that my being deaf is a secondary consideration. Good writing comes first, as it should.

So, there you have it. By the way, I've done some organizing on this blog. Should've done it a long time ago, but oh well. At the top of the right-hand column, I've added headers and links for my interviews and notable reviews of my books.

Until next time!

*** Edited: Someone reminded me about the sales metric as regards promotion. Being deaf has not hurt me here either. My sales are very, very good. "Waiting" in particular I have to thank for letting me write full time. Since shortly after it was released, "Waiting" has been a mainstay in the Amazon top 20 lesfic and was even in there twice a few times as a print book and e-book. It outsells my other books combined and accounts for about 60 percent of my overall revenue.Why? I have a few theories (maybe that's a subject for another post) but bringing this back to the issue of me being deaf, the fact that I've been able to cut down on my other work and write full time pretty much tells you that being deaf is not hurtful at all. Again, the writing speaks for itself.

Year-end list of favorite passages!

2011-12-24T11:21:00.000-08:00

It's the end of a year, which means LISTS!!! :-) I figured I would cobble together a little something with my favorite lines or sections from my books. Okay, maybe not my favorites per se, but lines that stand out (either to me or others).

This first one is from "Strange Bedfellows," and I'm picking this section because it got mentioned in a Goodreads book club discussion.
All these thoughts. Memories. Regrets. Was this what getting old was like? She certainly felt old. Not old in the sense that her body was achy, tired and cranky, although it got that way sometimes. But old in the sense that she had regrets, lots of them, and was not sure she had the courage to follow through on her plans to address them. She had taken an important step, but there was still room to backtrack. Oh yes, there was.
Regret filled the white spaces on the pages of her memoir.

This next one is from "Waiting."

Lena kept replaying the intensity in Caris's eyes during their conversation about domestic violence. Caris's touch on Lena's arm.

Before, Caris would not have touched her.

Caris had looked awful, no doubt about it. Purplish suitcases under her eyes. Limp hair. Until the car wreck, Caris had been too beautiful, too perfect, she had been elevated, she had been Lena's mother's wife. This post-pregnancy, grieving Caris was different. The old Caris would never have called Lena at one a.m.

Here's one from "The Odd Couple."

Charlene could not bring herself to say more. What she wanted to do was fall to her knees and take this other woman's son in her arms. She wanted to inhale his sweet little-boy smell. She wanted to feel him breathe and hear his heart beating. She wanted to tell him everything would be all right, that she was sorry, so very sorry for having failed him. What she wanted to do was trace his face, look into those familiar, lively blue eyes, and reassure him that everything would be okay now.

But she could not do that. That would be absurd. JP was dead, and no amount of pleading, no amount of tears and promises and deluding herself about this look-alike boy would change that.

"The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories" -- from "The Old Woman"

A woman turned into the aisle, and my heart stopped. I froze. I wanted to die. Please don't let this be happening. The woman was a tiny mouse of a person. She was a light-skinned black, she was old, and by old I meant old as in she had a slightly stooped walk, wrinkles, a flowered dress, the whole enchilada. At least she did not have a cane. I had dated black women, and her race was not a problem. But her age. Gawd, her age! Ohnonono. Wait a second. Relief washed over me; surely Jessica would not make me ask this woman out. I was saved, at least for now.

Jessica cocked an eyebrow and nudged me in the ribs. "Hunh. Well, have fun."

From "Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories" (This is from the second story, "A Weird Situation.")

"Do you want me to take my clothes off?" Louis asks. "So you can see better when it happens?"

Louis and I have never really paraded naked in front of each other. We've showered and bathed together a few times, but he's always been shy about his body—though it's a good one. I'm not shy about my body. At the risk of sounding boastful, I have a body to die for. Curves in all the right places, breasts not too big nor too small, nice, firm muscles, a tight ass.

Louis sees my hesitation and makes no move to strip. The clock strikes midnight, and nothing happens. But a couple of seconds later...

OhGodOhGodOhGod.

Louis' beard-scruff wilts and wanes. The just-a-bit-too-big nose is replaced in a flash with a petite nose—a woman's nose. The same nose on the woman last week. The short red hair becomes long, flowing, shiny hair. Beautiful, silky, smooth hair. Louis's face becomes a woman's. So does his body, and his clothes loosen.

By twelve oh one a.m., Louis the man is gone.

*****

MILD-SPOILER ALERTS!

I'm gonna cheat a bit and look to 2012 ;-) The passages may contain mild spoilers.

Here's something from "All in the Family," due out the first week of January.

Allison saw herself going to Sam, hugging her, but she was paralyzed. She was getting married tomorrow. There would be no hugging Sam. "Why are you here?" Allison asked.

Sam's responding gaze was as dark and powerful as she was. "Is that the question?"

"What?"

"Maybe the question is, why are you here? Why are you here and not inside with Helen?"

"You're...fine. Fine." Allison was suddenly anxious for Sam to leave.

Sam said: "Congratulations. I hope you will be happy."

She went back inside, and Allison whispered: "I love you. I love you very much."

Here's something from "Third" (probable release in late February).

Something shifted in Anne's expression. "Lady Yamaoto, I ask you this not to be forward but in case my days are nearly complete. What is kissing a woman like? What is making love to a woman like?"

Yalia blinked. "Uh, well."

"Is it different from kissing a man?"

"For me, it is."

"Is it better?"

"Yes, much better. It is right."

"Hmm." Anne's expression was thoughtful. Her lips were thoughtful.

Yalia almost said: I will show you. She did not, though, and Helen came out of the bathroom. Yalia swallowed, and the image of her wife, her Helen, kissing faceless Devon, and then Anne, entered her mind. The desire that had reared between Yalia's legs during the fades ignited again, and Yalia was ashamed. Not deeply. Only slightly.

Helen with another woman. Helen with Anne. Helen tearing Anne's clothes off, Helen on top of Anne. Helen's tongue meeting Anne's tongue.

"Switch"

2011-12-23T12:13:00.000-08:00

"Switch" is the tentative (working) title of my new project. I'll dive into it after I finish "Third," but I figured I'd share the basic premise with y'all. I'm excited!

I envision the opening scene as two women (in their 40s) meeting for the first time -- probably at a restaurant or coffee shop, that type of place. The next day, each woman is slated to meet the other's family for the first time. These two women are part of a huge news story. The son of a dead hospital nurse was going through his mother's possessions. He found a journal, and in that journal, his mother recorded how she switched five pairs of babies during her tenure at the hospital. These two women are one of these pairs, and they're quite different in personality and upbringing. They DO look similar (one of the reasons the nurse chose to switch them). Anyway, since I write lesbian fiction that usually has two women end up together, you can guess where this goes :-D

Look for "Third" in February. February is probably when I'll start extensive writing on "Switch."

Which work is most popular with my readers (using email as a metric)?

2011-12-19T11:58:00.000-08:00

So, mail. I love getting mail from my readers. (Well, not the attack emails. These I don't love.) But I love the telegrams, the faxes, the snail mails, the postcards, the airplane-in-the-sky trail messages and the airplane banner messages.

Okay, so I just get emails. No telegrams (yet) ;-)

Something interesting, though, and I wanted to share it with you all. I wrote here about why I love short stories and how I feel they're underappreciated compared with novels. Tell you something. The story that gets the majority of my email is a short. Yep, "The Old Woman" (in the "The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories" collection). Does it sell the most? Hardly, not even close. "Waiting" is my huge, top seller. My short story collections were dead last before I decided to make them free (might as well. They weren't selling much so I figured they would make decent loss leaders).

One interesting thing is that half the people who write about "The Old Woman" are not lesbians. I have gotten mail from straight women and straight men of all ages. Both types have said they finished the story crying/with tears in their eyes. This makes me quite happy, other than for the obvious reasons. It shows me that (I hope) more and more straights are appreciating lesbian fiction and that some themes transcend sexuality, race, gender, you name it.

Also makes me regret I decided against making a print copy of this collection and entering it into the awards that require print copies (Lammies, GCLS). Oh well.... :-)

**** You can get "The Old Woman" collection at Amazon, Smashwords and BN.

And yeah, the sole BN review is two stars and says this:

Eh

Stories were too short and kinda dumb. Nothing special.

(Back to me) Can't please everyone, right? ;) If you enjoyed my collection, please post a review at BN (and/or elsewhere). I don't want that review at BN to be the only one. You don't have to have purchased from BN. And heck, even if you didn't enjoy it, go ahead, post a review.

My books (from most recent publication to oldest)

2011-12-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

"Third" -- out now!

Tudor historian Helen Franklin is horrified when her dying scientist father leaves her a most unusual inheritance: Anne Boleyn. Yep, Anne Boleyn as in Henry VIII's beheaded queen. She is a time traveler and is having trouble adjusting to the modern world. Helen tells herself she does not have time for Anne. Yalia, Helen's wife, has been distancing herself from Helen for three years, and Helen needs to decide if she wants to save their marriage.

Then the unexpected happens. A romantic relationship develops among Yalia, Anne and Helen. Can the three of them figure out their lives together, especially when time might be running out for Anne?

**************

"All in the Family"

Allison Albrecht and Samantha Cannizarro are thrown together when their parents become engaged. Sam is deaf, so Allison begins to learn sign language. Allison is eager to please Sam and to make a good impression on her. Sam does not care about good impressions. She is a loner, always has been. She resents her new instant family, especially her stepmother-to-be. Sam is also reluctant to bond with three-year-old Allen. However, Allison and Allen gradually crack Sam's facade, and the two girls fall in love.

But life in a stepfamily is rarely easy. Throw in romance between two stepsiblings, and the ride is going to be bumpy.

**************

"The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories"

The Old Woman Jessica is a pretty good best friend, but she goes too far when she dares Rachel to ask an old woman on a date. Rachel has no choice; otherwise Jessica will do the asking, and Rachel has no intention of humiliating the old woman. Turns out maybe Jessica's idea was not so bad after all. There is a lot more to Ada than her age.

Funeral Olivia takes a drastic step to combat lesbian bed death.

The Lesbian Curse Becky and Katy are in middle school and tussling over a boy. Becky curses Katy, saying Katy will become a lesbian.

Polly Wanna Cracker Polly is a bird. A parrot, to be exact. She follows the goings-on of her human family, especially Faye, the daughter, and Glenda, the mother. Polly knows their secrets too. Will Polly spill the beans when she finds herself able to talk after bonking her head against a window?

What Girlfriend? Bobbie hopes her one-night stand won't pull the U-Haul trick.

Haunted Haunted people? Sure, they're everywhere. Haunted houses? Oooh, spooky. Good movie fodder. Excellent for campfire scares. Haunted cars? They’re not unheard of. But haunted pens? Yep,

Fortune Best friends Jackie and Emma go to a fortune teller. Emma is shocked when the teller reveals to Jackie that Emma is her secret admirer.

Lili from the Future It's a dream many people have; your future self visits you and fucks you.

Lizzie Twelve-year-old Shel is not sure if her best friend means it when he says he's going to kill a person.

**************

"Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories" (general fic collection)

Miss Lucy Parker Miss Lucy Parker is a prim, proper elderly lady. When a Volkswagen Beetle—the new kind, and pink—PINK!—turns onto the winding road that leads to Lucy's farmhouse, Lucy is sure the car's occupants are lost. And that the car contains hippies, because hippies drive Volkswagen Beetles. Lucy plans to tell the hippies to get lost. She has no need for their odd speech, beads and marijuana aroma. Except hippies are not in the car. A woman is, a woman wearing a short, blood-red dress that hugs her body. Thus begins Lucy Parker's great adventure.

A Weird Situation Karen does not believe her boyfriend when he tells her that he turns into a woman for seven hours every day.

The Interview The person interviewing Debby has a giant booger. Should she tell him and risk not getting the job?

First Day at Work A security guard's first day at a bank has repercussions for him and three workers.

Every Day A man struggles every day to follow through on a promise to himself.

The Doctor A doctor salivates at the prospect of delivering bad news to a twelve-year-old girl and her mother.

Guardian Angel Gabriel fancies himself a guardian angel. But is he really?

**************

"Waiting"

Caris Ismay, 30, is falling in love with a woman she dares not pursue, and at exactly the wrong time. Caris knew that life after having her baby would be different, especially since her wife did not love her anymore. But Caris never expected post-baby life to be this difficult. Dale, her wife of three years, is in a coma that turns into a vegetative state. Lena, Dale's 29-year-old daughter, is put in the awkward position of revealing Dale's secrets to Caris.

Caris and Lena share a perfect, passionate kiss that they cannot stop thinking about. Plus, they can help each other in ways no one else can. They try to build a friendship, but their growing attraction gets in the way. Can Caris and Lena move past the taboo of their attraction and find their path together?

**************

"Strange Bedfellows" -- Two-time Rainbow Award winner in 2011

Frances Dourne is apparently a shining example for ex-gays. She runs Gay is a Choice, a national ex-gays group. What people do not know is that she is deeply unhappy. She is ready to come out of the closet and be true to herself. She seeks help and feedback--and okay, maybe a sexual treat or two--from a high-class call girl.

Elena, the call girl, wants to escape from the realities of her past, and her job allows her to do so. She never gets attached to her clients, but her new client surprises her. Can Elena and Frances learn to trust each other enough to find the love they seek in each other's arms?

**************

"The Odd Couple" -- first edition released in 2008, finalist for Golden Crown Literary Society Debut Author award. Second edition and ebook edition released 2011

Morrisey Hawthorne and her four-year-old son, Gareth, have a pretty good life. Then one day they meet Charlene Sudsbury, who is trying to move on from the suicide of her son, JP, three years before. Gareth is nearly the mirror image of JP, and Charlene connects instantly with him. Not quite so with Morrisey, who can't escape fast enough after Charlene shows her a picture of JP. Charlene is convinced Morrisey is hiding something and sets out in search of the truth.

Despite the circumstances, the two women form an unusual bond and end up with a lot more than they bargained for. But when an old friend of JP's resurfaces, he challenges the fragile trust Morrisey and Charlene have been building.

Can these two women overcome the obstacles that separate them from the happiness they seek?

Being a Deaf Writer

2011-12-18T07:05:00.000-08:00

I'm a writer. I have freckles and brown eyes. I'm queer (or lesbian, or gay, if you prefer these synonyms). I'm deaf, too. I am the sum of a lot of parts, but there is no denying my deafness has shaped me a lot.

The obvious ways my deafness has shaped me as a writer
- Okay, so this first one is debatable and therefore not obvious, but oh well :P I acquired language early. I'm lucky in this respect, because many deaf/hard of hearing kids miss out on communication early in their lives. When my parents found out I was deaf, they enrolled in a sign language class at the community college. My first sign was "ball" when I was eight months old. So, it's possible that my being able to communicate earlier than average put my brainpower on the fast track.

- I got positive reinforcement early on for my writing ability. First from my teacher in elementary school, who had me stop reading a book halfway and write my own second half. She loved my crazy, kooky endings and took me a step further by having me write entirely new stories. From there was the Creative Arts Festival in Chicago for deaf and hard of hearing kids. I entered when I was seven and won. I got to go to Chicago every year for free because I won the contests. Winning contests gave me the motivation to keep writing. If I had been hearing, I don't know if anyone would have been thinking about entering little wee me in contests.

- I can write about deaf characters in my work easily. Oddly, though (or maybe not so odd) only one of my books has a deaf character. The book is "All in the Family," coming out the first week of January. I may write more about deaf people in the future, and I'm considering an "AITF" sequel.

The not-so-obvious ways
- This is a section from my writer bio: My favorite color is purple, but my writing is gray. Life is not black and white. I often write about issues and characters where there is no "right" answer. Being deaf has allowed me a perspective on life that I love. When I was a kid, my family would talk over me, through me, around me. I hated extended family gatherings and would retreat into books. Sometimes I would observe people, their body language, that kind of stuff. Being an outsider is practically a requirement for being a writer, isn't it? ;-) Okay, quit yellin'. I know many writers were/are popular kids.

- I have always been driven to write about issues a bit different from the norm, and I think that is because of my outsider status. I firmly believe good people do bad things, and bad people do good things. For example, is a husband scum if he cheats? No. The issue is more complex than that. Usually. (I hate absolutes.) "Strange Bedfellows" and the Frances character embody this concept perfectly, I think. Frances leads an ex-gays group, but she knows inside she is gay. She does bad things. She thinks she's a bad person. She finally decides to come out, and she knows she will never be able to repent for the bad things she did. Many people won't forgive her. She knows all that. But she is ready to live, to be true to herself.

Hmmm. I thought there would be more. Guess not ;-) I'll add later if anything comes to mind.

First Four Chapters of "All in the Family"

2011-12-15T10:46:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone's well! I'm posting the first four chapters of "All in the Family." You can click here for a .pdf (no need to download) or just read below. If you want something shorter, check out this excerpt from later in the book.

*****

This is an excerpt. The final version may be slightly different. For the entire story, check out Amazon, Smashwords and Barnes & Noble IN JANUARY 2012.
You can also email me at yllek_q@yahoo.com for a copy. :-)

Blurb: "All in the Family"
Allison Albrecht and Samantha Cannizarro are thrown together when their parents become engaged. Sam is deaf, so Allison begins to learn sign language. Allison is eager to please Sam and to make a good impression on her. Sam does not care about good impressions. She is a loner, always has been, and she resents her new instant family, especially her stepmother-to-be. Sam is also reluctant to bond with three-year-old Allen. However, Allison and Allen gradually crack Sam's facade, and the two girls fall in love.

But life in a stepfamily is rarely easy. Throw in romance between two stepsiblings, and the ride is going to be bumpy.

Chapter One

Allison did not like the woman with the big black hair who bounced into The Addict a moment ago. Allison's dislike was not because of the nasal Jersey-accented voice that made her want to invest in good earplugs. Nor was the dislike because the woman, braying with laughter at her own indecision, kept changing her order, from a black coffee to a latte to a cappuccino then back to a plain coffee with a brownie.

Allison did not like the woman because of the way she handled the baby. The boy looked to be about six months old, but his mother handled him as if he were a rag doll, tossing him over her shoulder, sending his neck this way and that way. Then she practically dropped him into his stroller.

"How much was that, again?" the mother asked.

"Five dollars, right on the mark," Allison repeated.

The woman frowned. She dug through her purse and added more coins to the motley pile in her hand. "Is $4.85 all right?"

Allison swallowed in resignation. Fifteen cents was not a lot to most people, but it was to her. She had to scrimp, save and work her butt off to help her mother pay the bills and take care of Allen.

The customer’s eyes lit up. "I found another nickel! How’s $4.90?"

"All right," Allison muttered. She accepted the customer’s pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters.

"Wonderful. You’re a doll! I tell you what. I’ll come back tomorrow, get more coffee and pay you back."

"Oh, that isn’t necessary," Allison demurred. But she felt lighter, happier. This customer was not so bad after all.

The woman scoffed. "Nonsense. I take care of my debts. Besides..." She let her voice trail off.

"What?"

"You look like you need the money."

Allison's hands crept to her hair. I look like I need money? How so? Her hair was shiny. Her skin was healthy. Her clothes were clean. The giveaway must be her eyes. Allison hated mirrors sometimes because they revealed something in her gaze. Something odd, haunted, indefinable. In any case, Allison would not let the customer get away with her remark. "Let me worry about myself," Allison retorted.

The woman flitted a dismissive hand. "Chill, simply an observation. We've all been there. No shame in it. Look, I’m in town just for the weekend, visiting my mama. She's like my best friend. But I’ll be back tomorrow, okay? About noon."

Allison lowered her gaze. The handle of the baby’s stroller peeked above the counter, and Allison wanted with all of her being to never see this customer or her son again.

An ear-piercing cry rattled Allison’s ears. "He's a grumpy Gus," the mother said. She dug the baby out of the stroller. Again, he was but a rag doll to her, his head bobbling dangerously.

"You should...ah..."

The mother’s eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Maybe support his head a bit." Allison demonstrated for the customer.

"He’s fine," the woman snapped. "He's teething is all."

Be pleasant. Remember, customer service first. "It’ll get better. I gave Allen a clean, wet washcloth to chew on. It helped him a lot."

"Oh yeah? I’ll have to try that."

Allison began to count the woman’s change. "So, what’s his name?"

"Christopher," the mother declared proudly. "After his father."

Allison let out a breath she had not realized she was holding. "That's a great name." Christopher. Not Bob. Had Allison really been thinking the customer would say Bob? Well, it was such a common name, and the baby was blond with light-colored eyes. But Bob was in jail.

The mother took her coffee and brownie. "Have a good day. See you tomorrow." She left The Addict, humming a happy tune.

Bob's chiseled features, complete with his sun-bleached blond hair and blue-green eyes, whooshed into Allison's mind. Stop stop stop. He's gone. It's done with. Allison forced herself to the present, to the nearly deserted, toasty coffee shop hundreds of miles from Arkansas.

Allison resumed counting the pile of change, and her stomach hardened. The total of the coins came to $2.50, a far cry from $4.90. Allison rubbed her temples; she was so gullible. The woman had known how to read her, all right. And she would not be back. Bye-bye, money.

Allison glanced at her cellphone, and the time leaped out. She forgot about the Jersey customer. Her shift would be over in thirty minutes. Normally, she would jump for joy. Not today. She was too nervous.

Her heart thrummed, and blissfully ignorant seconds ticked away. The picture, that wonderful picture of Sam. Allison bit her lip, trying to force the image out of her mind. She fished a flash card from her apron pocket.

"School," she muttered. She put the card on the counter and opened her palms. She laid a hand, palm down, sideways on the other hand. "School," Allison repeated, and she lifted the top hand twice. "No. Ugh."

"What ya doin’?" Her boss, Mr. Dierksen, ambled up. He was a kindly, fifty-ish man with graying hair. "Ah, more signs for Sam?"

"Yes." Allison puckered her lips. "I don’t think I’m doing this one right."

"Let me see." Mr. Dierksen took the card. "School." His hand movements were the same as Allison’s had been. "That look right?"

"That’s what I did," Allison admitted, but she did not feel better. "I think asking Sam about military school would be a good conversation starter."

"Don’t worry so much. You and Sam will get along great."

"School," Allison murmured, repeating the sign.

"Take off early, hmm? Nothing’s happening here."

Allison’s heart fluttered. Yes, yes, this was going to happen. Ready or not, she was going to meet Sam. Sam, who was clueless that her father was engaged to Allison's mother.

"I don't have the car. Joshua’s coming to get me."

"Sit, then. Rest your feet, study your signs in the book."

"You sure?"

"Sure I’m sure. Now scoot."

Allison untied her apron and collected her things. She slipped money from her purse into the cash register to make up the difference for the Jersey customer. She plopped down at an empty table and opened her sign language book to a random page. School stared back at her, and she slammed the book shut. Gawd. Allison never wanted to see that sign again.

She wanted desperately to impress Sam and for Sam to like her. Sam would hate her, though. It had been Sam and Barry for ten years. Sam would not be happy, coming home from school one afternoon and finding an instant family. They had practically moved in with Barry, and even Allison had not recovered from the whirlwind. A month ago, Beauregard Cannizarro was just a guy her mother waited on at the cafe and flirted with. Three Tuesdays ago, he was the guy her mother was going out on a date with. One week ago, they were in love. And then Allison came home five nights ago to that ratty old apartment to find that her mother was engaged to be married. Susan and Barry seemed happy together, deliriously in love. Allison genuinely was glad for her mother, and Barry would be a great father figure to Allen.

Would Sam be happy for her father and future stepmother? Allison was not so sure. She had the feeling her mother and Sam would clash. Susan had that effect on some people. One thing Allison was sure of: Sam held a spell over her. The picture had done it instantly. That picture, that wonderful, lovely picture on the fireplace mantel in the huge Cannizarro living room.

"Hey, this is Sam," Barry indicated to Allison about two weeks ago.

Allison went over to look. Sam's face was angular, not cute or pretty, but it had that indefinable something. Sam shared her father's impossibly deep blue eyes. A sly grin peeked from the corners of her lips. She had long, shiny black hair. Allison wondered right away how that hair would feel on her stomach, on her back, on her breasts. Barry had not noticed the reaction; he’d wandered off to Susan. Allison had walked off as well, startled at how a little photo had provoked such a response inside her.

Allison reminded herself that the photo was simply a picture. Most likely when she met Sam, there would be no attraction, no chemistry. Allison would wonder what the fuss had been about.

"Hey." A deep voice startled Allison from her thoughts.

Joshua.

He groaned at the sign language book. "You're not gonna make me practice again, are you?"

Joshua Wilbanks belonged on the runway. He was six feet two inches tall, with wavy brown hair and twinkling hazel eyes that most girls swooned over. He had the body of a Greek god. He also had the ego of a Greek god. Susan loved Joshua, absolutely adored him, and Susan had done so much for Allison. No harm indulging her mother by going out with Joshua. He was harmless anyway, all talk.

"I'm not going to make you practice again," Allison said.

"Whew. So, ready to go? Oh, hey. I can't stay at the house long. I've gotta meet Jeff."

"That's fine," Allison murmured. The Sam butterflies started up again. Time to meet Sam, her future stepsister, that lovely girl in the picture.

*****

Sam pulled into her three-car garage and grabbed her duffel bag. Finally, she would find out what was up. Her father had arranged for her to come home from military school for the weekend and to miss school Monday, all in the name of "a big surprise."

Sam jumped out of Dino. The red sport utility vehicle was Sam's Bronco, a gift from her father on Sam's sixteenth birthday. She was not allowed to drive Dino at school. She could only use the Bronco when she was home and to go between home and school.

"Corny!" Sam greeted her yellow Labrador retriever mix. Corny was his usual rascally self, hopping around like he was a puppy instead of a sizable twelve-year-old fellow. Sam threw her long arms around the dog's soft neck, trying to ignore the fact that his muzzle seemed two times whiter than it had been during winter break almost two months ago. He’s old. Too old.

Sam strode into the kitchen, Corny at her heels. She threw her duffel bag onto the floor.

A man, a broad grin on his handsome face, rounded the corner. He resembled Barry, Sam’s father. They were both hulking guys, at six feet six inches tall, with slabs of concrete for hands and feet. But Sam's father did not have spiky, gelled hair, a goatee, or a gold hoop earring. Her father had distinguished gray streaks in his hair, and he hated piercings on men.

Sam could not believe what she was seeing. Good grief. The man swept Sam into his arms and did not let go for several moments. Finally, he drew back. "You like?" he signed. He ran a hand through his hair, reminding Sam of a strutting peacock.

"It's different. So, what's the surprise?" she asked, half-signing, half-speaking. Her father was the only person that Sam used her voice with. Other people were not able to understand her garbled and mostly unintelligible speech. Barry could because he was used to it. Sam had gotten cochlear implant surgery when she was about a year old, but as in some cochlear implant cases, she had not been a good fit. Because cochlear implants eradicated all residual hearing, Sam had no hearing in that ear. Her parents opted not to implant her other ear. Sam hated hearing aids, and Barry had not pressed her to wear a hearing aid. Like it would have done much good, anyway. Sam's deafness was profound.

Barry chuckled. "You'll find out soon." He signed slowly and haltingly, but his mouth movements helped Sam understand him. His signing skills had gone downhill after Sam's mother and brother died.

Sam knew her dad could keep a secret. He dealt with lawyer-client privilege every day and probably knew hundreds of dirty divorce secrets. She would not be finding anything out until he was ready to let the goods slip. "Okay," she grumbled. "I’ll put my stuff up."

Anxiety clouded Barry’s face. "Don't go upstairs. Give me a minute to finish up a few phone calls, all right? The Hansons—remember them? They used to live down the street. They're going through a nasty divorce." Barry glanced at his watch. "Stay right here, sweetheart. Don’t leave the kitchen."

"Is it a TV?" Sam had a TV in her bedroom, but it was thirteen inches. She had been asking for a thirty-incher. Don't be an idiot. Dad wouldn't pull me from school for a TV.

"It’s much better than a TV."

"Why can’t I go to my room?"

"Just wait."

Sam took a step back, not liking the look on her father's face. "You sure this is something cool?"

Barry smiled widely, but Sam detected apprehension in his eyes. "You'll love it!"

Can’t go upstairs, can’t go outside. The plot thickens.

Barry leaned in for a quick kiss on Sam's cheek. "I missed you, sweetheart."

After Barry left, Sam headed to the refrigerator. She opened the door, her mouth salivating at the thought of the usual slices of leftover pizza or Chinese takeout. Barry worked long hours and was not a cook. But there was no pizza, no Chinese.

There were, however, plenty of salad bags, enough to feed a small army. And unless Sam’s eyes were failing her, her father had gotten majorly into apples, oranges, grapes and...Slimfast shakes. What the hell? Sam flung open the freezer door, and instead of the usual fattening ice cream were boxes of Weight Watchers ice cream bars.

Sam closed the doors. Okay, so her father was dieting. He could stand to lose a few pounds, but he always exercised to lose weight. He loved his junk food, just as Sam did. They adored pizza for breakfast. Barry did not expect her to join him on the diet, did he? No, of course not. She was in tip-top shape, thanks to military school.

Sam checked out the pantry, and the usual chips and cookies were nowhere in sight. In their places were rice cakes, diet popcorn and granola bars. "Hell," Sam muttered. What were they going to have for dinner, salad? No way was she bringing that nasty rabbit food near her mouth.

She wandered back into the kitchen. Five minutes had passed, and she was getting restless. Stay put. Yeah, right. Sam led Corny to the front yard and found a well-worn tennis ball. She brought her arm back and sent the ball sailing in a perfect arc. Corny galloped after it, although he was not as quick as he used to be. Sam gritted her teeth. Stop thinking about Corny getting older.

After Corny brought the ball back, Sam kneeled and scratched him behind the ears. "You smell," she proclaimed. "Ew."

Out of the corner of her eye, Sam saw a flash of white. It was a worn Chevrolet Lumina screeching into the Cannizarro driveway. Corny slunk off, and Sam hauled herself to her feet. A woman stepped out of the Lumina and cast an appraising glance in Sam’s direction.

Sam did not like the looks of the woman. She was a few inches shorter than Sam. She appeared about thirty-five years old, and dyed red hair hung limply on her shoulders. She carried a few extra pounds around her stomach and hips. Black leggings clung to her like a second skin, and a baggy red sweater and high heels completed her garish outfit.

The woman took a few steps toward Sam. "Susan." She pointed to herself and mouthed exaggeratedly: "SUSAN. SUSAN."

Gotcha. Susan had long, flaming red nails. No way was this woman touching Sam. She better not be Dad's girlfriend.

Susan held up a finger and turned back to the Lumina. She unbuckled a little boy from a child seat in the back. A mop of strawberry-blond hair covered his head.

Crap. Not only did Barry have a girlfriend, he had a girlfriend with a small child. Sam hated kids. They were boorish, grubby, smelly.

Susan gathered the boy in her arms. "Allen," Susan mouthed. "ALLEN." She kissed his forehead. "Say hi to darling Samantha!"

Scarlet flooded Allen's cheeks, and he dropped his gaze to the ground.

"Samantha," Susan chirped. "I adore your hair."

Sam could not stand being called Samantha. "Sam." She pronounced her name as clearly as she could.

Susan squealed. "I understood you!"

Barry bounced out of the house. He was grinning like there was no tomorrow. He scooped Susan up in his big, meaty arms. He crushed her and her son to his chest.

Sam knew, in that one moment, that her father was in love. With this crazy flaming-red-nailed woman. Oh God, oh God. Sam could not breathe.

Barry let go. "I see you met," he signed to Sam.

She could not meet his eyes. She had not seen him light up like this since...well, ever.

"Beauregard, Samantha's such a dear!" Susan exclaimed, and she set down her son. At least Susan's lips were fairly easy to read. Many people's were not.

"So are you, baby." Barry leaned in for a kiss and another hug. Sam could not bear to watch. She opted to look at Allen. The tot sucked his thumb and stared back at her with big, round green eyes.

Sam scowled. She hated stare-y kids most of all. She hated them more than women with long, flaming-red fingernails. Okay. So Dad has a girlfriend. No big deal. It won't last long. Just play nice.

Barry pulled away from Susan, and Sam swallowed her revulsion. "Wow!" She forced herself to smile. "You have a girlfriend! Cool."

A sheepish grin overtook Barry's face. "Actually, Susan’s not my girlfriend. She’s my fiancee. Surprise!"

Chapter Two

After the big surprise was revealed, Sam slipped into shock. She was not aware of the goings-on around her, nor did she care to be aware. All she could think about were her mother and her father.

Beauregard Cannizarro and Norene Adams, both aged twenty-five, were married on an April morning. They decided on the spur of the moment to elope. Virginia had no waiting periods, so why not? However, Barry and Norene wanted to get married in the right place. The cramped, bureaucratic stuffings of Roanoke City Hall did not appeal to Norene. "No problem," her groom told her. "I’ll persuade the justice of the peace to marry us outside."

Norene's sister, Julia, had her doubts. "Good luck. The justice's a mean old fart."

Julia's husband, Gerald, the other witness to the wedding, told Barry not to worry. "The fates are smiling upon you and Norene," he said. Gerald was right. The regular justice was out sick. His substitute was a hopeless romantic.

And so under dogwood trees and amid the honks of buses and cars, Barry and Norene recited their vows and promised to love each other for eternity. Their grinning faces would forever live on in Gerald’s photographs. The groom was brawny and handsome in his spiffy suit, and the bride was beautiful, especially with the contrast between her cream-colored dress and her dark hair and dark eyes.

After the ceremony, the new husband and wife decided to go home and celebrate. Then they realized they had a problem. They were not sure where home was. They had known each other two weeks. Barry had proposed that morning. Norene’s apartment was a little bigger, and a lot tidier, so they settled on that as home. And they never looked back. People said it wouldn’t last. Barry and Norene hardly knew each other. They were crazy, nutty kids in love. They would be divorced within five years.

People could not have been more wrong.

Sam loved that story. She was as unromantic as a person could be, but the thought of her parents’ whirlwind courtship never failed to warm her stomach with fuzzies. Her parents were right for each other, destined for each other. They were the stuff of fairy tales. Proposing to Norene on the spur of the moment and then marrying her that same day was the only impulsive thing Barry had done. Except he had gone and done it again. In the process, he had cheapened the memory of Sam’s mother.

Sam was on the couch now, and her stepmother-to-be was beaming at her. "We’re going to get along wonderfully, Samantha!"

Barry told Sam how they met. "Susan works at a cafe I go to a lot on my lunch breaks. I always had my eye on her, to be honest." Barry shot Susan a shy look, and she giggled. "I finally got the guts to ask her out. The rest is history."

Oh, Daddy. How could you? You're blind. This Susan was nothing like Norene. Sam's mother was cool. She was easygoing, beautiful and kind, inside and out. She laughed a lot. This Susan dressed like she was mired in the 1980s. This Susan mouthed her words like the fool she was. This Susan was fake as hell. She was wrong for Barry.

Sam wanted to vomit. All over Susan. She could not believe the woman beaming so widely at her was her future stepmother. Jesus Christ. And the boy sprawled on the floor coloring in a book was her future stepbrother. What the hell? Sam did not need a stepbrother. Her father did not need another kid. He was nearing middle age. He should be able to enjoy his fishing and reading and doing whatever he wanted to do, not chasing after some snotty brat who was not his own kid.

"Hey, Allen," Barry said. "Come over here and finger spell your name for Sam."

The boy shook his head no.

"Come on, buddy," Barry coaxed.

Allen shook his head again.

"Hey, Sam, spell your name for him."

Sam scowled. "No."

"Why not?"

Sam jerked to her feet. She had no intention of staying in the house any longer.

*****

Sam knew where she was going even before she jumped into Dino—to her aunt Julia’s house. Sam loved Julia as much as she loved her own father. If anyone would understand this Susan mess, Julia would. Gerald was okay; his signing was about the same as Barry's. Sad that Sam's uncle who was not related to her by blood signed about as well as her own father.

No one was home. Not a problem. Sam knew where Julia and Gerald hid their keys, and she let herself in. Fuck, fuck, fuck, goddammit. How could her father up and get engaged to some 1980s floozy? And spring it on her like it was some wonderful thing? How could he expect her to be jumping for joy and finger spelling stupid crap to some kid who thought boogers were the best thing since ice cream?

Sam paced the living room. Her father was such an idiot. Did he know if Susan was who she said she was? Had he run a background check? What if she was a psycho killer? What if she specialized in swindling money from wealthy men? Hundreds of questions scurried through Sam’s mind, and her rage built and built.

She found herself in the hallway, right in front of the picture of her mother. Her mother was with Julia, on Julia’s wedding day. Julia had been twenty-three and Norene twenty-four. They could have been twins, so alike were their features, dark hair and almost-black eyes.

Next to the wedding picture was one of Sam with Lucas. She had been seven; he had been four. Exactly one week after the picture was taken, he died in a car crash, along with Sam’s mother and maternal grandparents.

That Lucas was a good kid. Sam felt this more than knew it, because she remembered precious little of her time with her brother. Nor their mother, for that matter. The mind movies had become more blurry and dusty with the years, and Sam rarely allowed herself to think about her mother and brother these days. What were they now but worm food? Sometimes, though, they flashed into her mind, laughing, smiling and very much alive. Sam hurried those memories out as quickly as possible.

But here she was now, alone in a house not her own, and staring at those long-ago images. "Fuck," Sam muttered. She wanted to grab both pictures and smash them to the floor. Or even better, shove them in her father’s face. "Remember them, Dad? Now this was a cool woman. A cool kid. This Susan chick and her brat—they’re not cool. So just, you know, forget about them. We’ll pretend this never happened."

Sam detected movement out of the corner of her eye. Julia was stepping into the house. Sam ran to her aunt, and Julia held her close. Julia smelled good, wonderfully familiar, of cotton candy and coffee and roses and all kinds of things mixed into one. Sam clenched her jaw, willing tears not to fall.

They fell anyway, and Sam realized this was only the second time her aunt had seen her cry. The first time was when Lucas was in the coffin. He had been white, like he was really sick. His eyes were closed, and his hair was slicked back. He wore his favorite shirt and blue jeans. Sam shook him and tried to wake him up. When he would not, Sam cried and cried. Julia held her.

It was the clearest memory Sam had of her brother, sweet four-year-old Lucas frozen in death. Sam fucking hated that memory.

Julia drew back. "What's wrong?" She signed fluently, easily, unlike Barry.

Sam swallowed the lump in her throat, then it hit her that Julia knew. How could she not? She and Barry ran in many of the same social circles. They talked on the phone every once in a while, and not always about Sam. They were friends in every sense of the word.

Renewed anger frothed inside Sam. "How could you not tell me? Don’t act like you didn’t know!"

Julia's eyes shifted guiltily. "Your dad wanted to do it himself, in person."

"He wasn't dating anyone during winter break! How could he just up and get engaged to some chick?"

"You mean like with your mother?"

"No! That's comparing apples and oranges. Susan is...she’s nothing like...she’s...ugh."

Julia took Sam's hand and guided her to the couch.

*****

Sam was on her second bottle of water when Julia brought up the possibility that Sam ought to be happy for her father.

Sam blinked. "What?"

"He’s been lonely for a long time," Julia pointed out. "I’m glad he found someone. It's wonderful to see him smile again."

"Fine, if Dad wants to find someone, fine, but do it the normal way. With a better person. You obviously haven't met Susan, or you'd understand."

"We've met."

"What did you think?"

Julia's fingers tensed before she began to sign. "She's very different from your mother. But that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"You don't like her either!" Sam crowed.

"All you need to ask yourself is this: Does this woman make your father happy?"

"He's not himself anymore. I hardly recognized Dad! Did you see? He has a goatee and this funky hoop earring. He looks like freaking Blackbeard. He just needs an eye patch. I’m sure his clients love it, too."

"Give Susan a chance. Your father needs her. He's tried so hard to be brave and strong for you, but he's been unhappy. Do you think your mother would've wanted him to be happy?"

Sam's temper rose again. "But the kid! The kid kept staring at me. What is Dad thinking? He's going to have to chase after some little brat when he should be enjoying retirement."

Julia grinned. "Honey, Allen won't be a kid by the time your dad retires. Anyway, Allen's a dear. He's so cute. Your dad's crazy about him. You will be, too."

Sam scoffed. "Whatever."

"Allison's wonderful. She's such a lovely young woman. She kept asking me all kinds of questions about you. She's very excited about learning sign."

Sam's mind went blank. "Who?"

"Allison."

"Who?"

Julia coughed. "Allison. Susan's daughter. Allen's mother."

Allen's mother. "Wait a minute. Susan isn't the kid's mother?"

"It's a long story. But, basically, Susan had a boyfriend who..." Julia swallowed. "He molested Allison, and she got pregnant. Allen knows Allison is his biological mother, as well as a three-year-old can know, but Susan's the one he calls 'Mom.' It's like..." Julia shrugged. "I don't know exactly. I didn't want to press."

"How old is Allison?"

"A little younger than you. Sixteen."

Sam cocked an eyebrow. "And she's that kid's mother?"

"Yep."

Oh, Christ. Sam's whining, her problems paled in comparison. Petty. You're full of petty shit. "Okay. Okay." Sam's chest was suddenly heavy, very heavy. "Okay, whatever. I still don't want them."

*****

Allison felt as if she was back to square one. She was not meeting Sam anytime soon, and she did not know how much longer she could go on with her stomach in knots.

"Why doesn't Samantha like me, Beauregard?" Susan asked for the umpteenth time. "I tried so hard."

"She likes you fine," Barry said. "It's my fault."

"So you think she went to her aunt's?" Allison asked before her mother could continue her whine party.

Barry rubbed his forehead. "Yeah. Or Paul's. I'll call soon. I was hoping she'd come back on her own. But, uh..." Barry glanced at the clock. "I don't want to wait too long." He got on his cellphone and frowned into it. "Hey, Julia." A long pause. "Yeah. I figured. All right. Thanks." He hung up.

"Well?" Susan asked.

"Sam is over there. She's gonna spend the night."

Allison's heart crashed into her stomach. Damn it. One more day of waiting.

Susan snorted. "We should bring her home. She should be with us."

"I want to bring her home, Susie. I do. This will be better, though. She'll come back tomorrow, and we'll move on. Start fresh."

"Well, all right," Susan said. "I was thinking of taking a little lunch and shopping trip Sunday. Me, Allison and Samantha. What do you think?"

Barry rubbed his chin. "Sam's not big on shopping, but why not? Actually, Susan, that's an excellent idea."

"Really?"

"Really. And don't you worry your wonderful self about money. You spend as much as you need to. God, Susan, how did I get so lucky? I love how you care about Sam. She's going to love you as much as I do."

Chapter Three

"Arms up." Allison slid a white pajama top onto Allen. Susan had decided to spend the night with Barry. Allison and Allen would be bunking in the guest room. Allison knew the room well; she had spent the past five nights there, with Allen. The bed sucked.

"Not tired! Wanna sign!"

"I know, sweetie, but it's your bedtime. We've been signing all night. We'll practice more tomorrow."

"Sam don't like me."

"She does. This is new to her. She needs to get used to us."

"Wanna sign colors!"

Allison smoothed Allen's hair out. She helped him into bed. "We'll do colors tomorrow, I promise."

Susan poked her head in the room.

"Momma!" Allen cried.

"Hey, sweetie." Susan took her place beside Allen. She kissed his forehead.

"Story!" the boy demanded.

"Not tonight. I need to talk to your sister. I’ll tell you two stories tomorrow."

Allison's stomach twisted. What does Momma want?

Susan gave Allison a smile. "I'll be in the other room."

"Okay."

Susan retreated, and Allison brushed her lips against Allen's forehead. She wondered when he would start pushing her away. Ew! Don't kiss me. That's yucky. You're embarrassing me in front of my friends. "Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite."

Allen giggled, as he always did. Allison turned on the night light and lingered by the door. Some days Allison had herself almost convinced she never gave birth to this child, never had him inside her, never felt his little legs kicking against her stomach. She did not want to go to her mother and see the eternal hardness in her gaze.

Allison would rather watch Allen drift off to sleep. She loved doing that, although she felt guilty each and every time. Because whenever she tucked Allen in, took in his angelic, sleeping face, his golden eyelashes, the little sighs of contentment he made, her heart swelled with love. And she did not want to love this child, but God help her, she did. She wished she did not love him so she could turn him over completely to her mother. Maybe she could, maybe she would, if not for the hardness in Susan's gaze. Allison got the feeling sometimes that her mother was teetering on a thin line. Anything could send her over the edge. Anything could send her punishing Allison and Allen for what Bob did.

"Good night," Allison whispered. She left the door open a crack.

What Susan called the "other room" was a junk room. Storage room. It would become Allison’s bedroom soon. It was on the second floor too, between Sam's bedroom and the guest room.

"We haven't had much of a chance to talk," Susan said. "How are you? How's Joshua?"

"Fine. Good."

Susan's purse hung from the doorknob, and she got a package of condoms from it. "Here."

"I don't need condoms."

"You never know." Susan's voice was soothing, understanding, but her gaze had that hardness. The hardness had appeared when Susan found out Allison was pregnant and who the father was. The hardness had never gone away. Susan had done her best to be a good, understanding mother, and Allison loved her for it despite being scared at the same time of the possibility of Susan snapping. Susan had insisted on counseling, and only last year had she allowed Allison to stop. Allison's choice. She frigging hated the counseling. She wanted to suggest to her mother that she go for counseling. There was no denying that Susan had never looked at Allison the same way again after Bob. Their camaraderie was gone, totally gone. Susan had been in love, crazy, completely, flipping head over heels in love with Bob.

"Take the condoms," Susan urged. "You really never know."

"Okay. Fine." Allison slid the condoms into her pants pocket. No use arguing with her mother. This was not the time to stir the waters, anyway. Allison truly was glad her mother was with Barry. Her mother had had two boyfriends between Bob and Barry, and these men had been...well, they had been okay, but Allison had not let herself get to know them. After Bob, that would have been stupid. Not so with Barry. Allison clicked with Barry instantly. Something about him radiated honesty and decency. He was not Susan's usual type. Allison hated the phrase "trailer park trash" because she had grown up in a trailer park. Most people there did not fit the stereotype. However, "trailer park trash" did fit Susan's usual boyfriend. Fit Allison's father, too, at least later in his life.

Susan reached into her purse again. "Gum?" She proffered a pack of Wrigley's Big Red Cinnamon.

The room disappeared, and Allison was back in the Arkansas trailer, hoping Bob had not seen the magazine she was reading. She had shoved it under her pillow, but doubtless he would grab it to see what she was hiding. He winked. "What you reading?"

"Nothing."

Bob fished gum out of his pocket. "Want a stick?"

Allison pretended her mother had said something else. Ice cream. She said ice cream. The gum was one example of why Allison was afraid her mother would snap. Bob had chewed that type of gum like he breathed air. He was forever offering it.

"Sure." Allison accepted the gum nonchalantly. No way would she show her mother she was intimidated. And maybe it was not conscious. Allison would give her mother the benefit of the doubt.

*****

Sam could not sleep. It was not that she had trouble in strange places—she could fall asleep anywhere—and it was not because she was wide awake. She was as tired as she had ever been. The day had been long and draining. She tossed and turned, replaying the moment her father said: "Actually, Susan’s not my girlfriend. She’s my fiancee. Surprise!"

Sam got to her feet. There was no use trying to sleep. She padded to a window and pulled the curtains back. Glittering stars crowded the sky, and Sam thought of her mother. Norene had been an amateur astronomer, and Sam knew Norene’s favorite stars and constellations by heart. That was thanks to Barry and Julia, who had pointed them out many times.

Sam should be happy for her father. It was obvious he was head over heels in love—not just with Susan, but with her son, too. Grandson. Barry had another little boy, and his biological mother was sixteen years old. Crazy stuff. Sam was not sure how she should act around Allison. Should Sam bring up the fact she knew the kid was Allison's? Was it appropriate to ask about the molestation—would Allison expect her to? Was Allison an emotional, fucked-up mess inside?

Should Sam say nothing about the kid and the molestation?

Shit. Time to forget about Allison. Sam itched to be out of Julia's house. I'm going home now to sleep in my own bed, with my own dog. I’ll do damn well what I please, in my own house.

*****

Sam pulled into her driveway about twenty minutes later but did not press the button to open the garage door. No sense waking her father up at one in the morning and suffering through a: "You’re home! I missed you. We’re gonna be one big happy family, okay?"

Sam cut the engine and eased out of Dino. Shit. Wait. She had overlooked something; her father was awake. Had to be, because the living room was lit up. Sam’s resentment escalated. Here she was, home, to sleep in her own bed, but no, her father would grill her and get on her ass. Leaving Julia’s early had been a mistake. Sam decided to simply sign "Later" and stalk past her father.

Sam unlocked the garage side door and turned the light on. The Lumina greeted her. More like mocked her. Shit. Susan's here.

Corny bounced up. "Hey, boy." Sam rubbed his head and slipped him a doggy biscuit. Wait a minute. Why was Corny in the garage? He was shivering. He was old! It was late February and about ten degrees outside. Barry always kept Corny inside the house.

Susan. Sam visualized her stepmother-to-be's fat red lips whining about allergies and cleaning dog hair and the smell. Fuck that bitch. My dog comes inside whenever he wants.

Sam stormed to the door connecting the garage and the kitchen. She threw the door open. Then she stopped cold. Someone was sitting at the kitchenette table. Someone she did not recognize, someone glancing among several scattered books and writing into a notebook, someone whose eyelashes belatedly flew open to meet Sam's gaze. Must be Allison. Good God, she was beautiful, nothing like her mother's forced looks. Loose tendrils of strawberry-blond hair tumbled down Allison's shoulders, and her lips were a full, soft pink. She was ethereal and unreal under the lights. Her mustard-yellow sweat pants and thin white T-shirt diminished nothing.

A fierce red flooded the girl's face. She snapped her head back toward the books, as if they would tell her what to do.

Sam stared, amazed and shaken. Panic grabbed her; in her haste to leave Julia's house, she had not brushed her hair or looked herself over. Sam had never been smooth around girls. She had known for a few years that she was gay. She could not pinpoint the exact moment she realized, but it was when she was about ten years old and began to understand that her crushes on her girl friends were how they felt about boys.

None of this mattered to Sam at the moment. She was paralyzed. She needed to get out, now, before she made a spectacle of herself. But her legs refused to cooperate. Her arms worked okay; she was able to reach out and absent-mindedly pet Corny.

The girl looked up again. She offered a tentative smile and went to a purse on the counter. She dug a piece of folded paper from it and shoved it into Sam’s hands. The paper was addressed, in big, blue block letters, to SAM.

Hi Sam! Your dad's told us so much about you. He's really proud of you. I hope we can be friends and that you can help me learn sign language better. I've been teaching Allen too. The abc's, numbers, basic signs such as who, what, why, where, when, how. I'd love to take a class. Any ideas? Well, I better stop writing and let you reply!! A huge smiley face ended the note.

Sam gave an anxious little cough and turned the garage light off. She stepped fully into the kitchen and closed the door behind her. She ventured a few steps more to the kitchen table. Now that's a nice surprise. The books Allison had been studying were on sign language. Sam got a pen. "Are you Allison?"

Allison inclined her head for a yes. She made the sign for sorry, a backward ‘s’ on her chest, and moved it in a circle.

"Why are you sorry?" Sam wrote.

Allison shrugged and looked away.

Sam wrote: "That's cool you have sign language books. Spell your name."

"Um…" Allison tucked loose hair behind her ears. "S…l…l…i…s…o…n."

Sam reached for the pen. "You made your a like s."

Allison cringed, and Sam hastened to reassure her. "It’s okay. People do it all the time. With d and f, too. Just remember to keep your thumb to the side with a."

Allison nodded uncertainly. "Sorry." She did look sorry. Deeply, painfully, sorry, like someone had died.

Sam wrote again: "Why was Corny in the garage? We keep him inside, especially in winter."

"My mom doesn’t like him being in because of her allergies."

"Screw her. Corny sleeps with me."

Allison studied Sam’s note. "Yeah, um…"

Sam’s stomach growled, and she grabbed the paper back. "I’m hungry," she announced. Julia had ordered pizza, but Sam’s appetite had been on hiatus. She strode to the refrigerator. The fridge door had been bare before, but now it displayed a drawing, titled SAM, in wobbly, red crayon letters. Sam ignored the picture and opened the door. Same healthy crap from earlier. Sam whirled to her stepsister-to-be. "Where’s good food?" Sam finger spelled and signed slowly.

"No understand," Allison signed. "Slow."

Sam jotted her message. "Where's the good food?"

"Diet," Allison finger spelled, mangling the word. "No good food."

"Why?"

Allison reached for the pen and paper. "My mother’s really into health food. But don’t worry. She’s a good cook. She can do wonders with anything."

"I don’t want healthy crap."

Allison ran her tongue over her lips. "I have some things in my backpack. Candy and chips."

Sam flashed Allison an approving grin. Now that's more like it. "We can eat in my room," Sam wrote.

Allison gathered her books and stuff from the table, and Sam noticed that Allison was not only studying signs. Two pictures were on the table. In one picture, Allison had her arms around a tanned young man. He had wavy brown hair. They were both dressed up—probably at a dance. So Allison had a boyfriend. A boyfriend whose picture was likely the last thing she saw every night. Gag.

"Joshua," Allison finger spelled.

Sam kept her expression neutral. Sissy name.

"My...my..." Allison scrunched her face, apparently struggling to remember the sign.

"Boyfriend," Sam signed abruptly, combining the signs for boy and friend.

Allison grinned. "Boyfriend." She repeated the sign.

Why do all the cute girls have boyfriends? Sam pointed to the second picture. "Who?" This photo was of a handsome, young blond man with green eyes.

Allison stuffed both pictures into a sign language book.

Huh. Sam wrote: "Who was that blond dude?"

"No one. Let's go to your room."

Corny followed Sam and Allison upstairs. To Allison's credit, she said not a word about Corny being with them.

Allen's father? Was that the blond guy? Wasn't that kind of creepy for Allison to be looking at a picture of the dude who molested her?

Sam lifted Corny onto her bed. He walked twice in a circle and plunked down.

Allison smiled and signed haltingly: "Cute. Good dog."

Sam grabbed the notepad. "Too bad your boyfriend isn’t cute."

Allison’s eyes widened.

What did you go and do that for, Sam? Tsk, tsk. Temper.

Allison took several moments to reply. A few times, she scratched through lines. The message Sam got at last read: "It’s a bad picture. He looks better in person. He’s really nice. He’s learning sign, too. Anyway, I’ll dig out the food."

Sam shook her head. "Not hungry now. Going to bed."

Dismay crossed Allison’s face. "But..."

"Tired."

Allison reached for the notepad. "You can’t pass up free candy."

Sam tried to not let the plea get to her. She was restless and irritable. She was tired of this sort of crap happening. When would she learn? It went something like this: Sam meets girl. Sam likes girl. Girl has boyfriend. Sam thinks maybe girl will grow to like her, anyway. Sam is dreadfully wrong. Always. Girl never likes Sam as anything more than a friend. Sam ends up hating herself.

And this was not any girl. This was her stepsister-to-be, who was also, from the looks of it, mooning over the dude who raped her.

Allison reached into her backpack. She came up with a party-sized bag of peanut M&M’s. Her eyes shining, she held the bag up. She pointed to herself and signed "Yellow," meaning she was claiming the yellow M&M’s.

Sam blew out a breath. Hell, yes, she was staying. When Allison broke her heart, Sam would only have herself to blame.

*****

As the night went on, and with more practice, Allison’s signing improved. Sam was impressed. Allison’s finger spelling was quicker and clearer, and she already knew a good amount of signs. She got better at reading Sam's signs, although the majority of their conversation was through writing.

Sam asked how Allison had been learning. "Your dad’s helped some. Also books and the Internet."

"For how long?"

Allison shrugged. "Two weeks?"

"You sign well. Like you've been studying a month at least."

Allison blushed, and Sam enjoyed the response. A lot.

"So," Allison asked after a while, "how come you’re back early from your aunt's?"

"I couldn’t sleep. I was mad. I mean, this is my house. I have every right to be here."

"Yes, you do. I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been dying to meet you. Your dad’s said so many great things about you."

Sam snorted. "Such as?"

"You’re really funny and smart. You’re a great dancer. You outshine your grandfather on the dance floor. Me, I can’t dance worth a whit. You’re champ at poker. You kick your dad’s ass in basketball and chess. You want to be a lawyer like him."

"The lawyer part isn't true, but Dad keeps saying it."

"What do you want to be?"

"Dunno yet." Sam rubbed the white patch on Corny’s otherwise tan head. "What bad things did Dad tell you?"

"Bad things?"

"Like why I go to military school."

A shadow crossed Allison’s face. "He said you got in trouble."

"And?"

"You were expelled. Mom told me that you were sneaking out and smoking. That you set off a bomb at your old school."

"Stink bomb," Sam scrawled proudly. "The best one I ever made."

"Right."

Sam puckered her lips. Change the subject. "Where's your father?"

Allison's expression hardened. "Back in Arkansas. Dead."

"What happened?"

"Died of alcoholism, basically."

"He the blond dude in the picture?"

Allison shook her head, and a muscle flickered at her jaw. "That man in the picture is Allen's father."

"What's his name?"

"Bob. He's in jail now."

Sam quickly, mentally ran over her reply before she wrote it. "My aunt told me what happened with you and him."

"Please don't tell my mother I have a picture of him."

"I won't. Why were you looking at it?"

Allison gave a laugh, a helpless little laugh. "Don't know. I don't like him. I look at his picture sometimes. But I don't know why. Can we not talk about him?"

"That's fine."

Allison smiled widely and pointed to the bag of M&M’s. "Almost empty. Wow."

"You did most of the damage," Sam wrote. It was true; Allison was not afraid to eat. Sam fished out the last yellow M&M. "Here."

Allison grinned. "About our parents, I really am sorry your father didn’t tell you earlier."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Dad's an idiot, but I’ll get over it."

Chapter Four

When Allen awoke Allison at eight a.m., the sun was shining, and she felt refreshed and vital. Yes, she smelled like old dog, but so what? Allison slipped into the hall bathroom she shared with Allen. Sam's room was the only one upstairs connected to a bathroom.

Allison brushed her hair and her teeth. She had met Sam, finally. And they had gotten along swell. More than swell. Signing with Sam had been so cool, easy and natural. Allison’s skill had more than quadrupled from that practice.

Allison wondered if Sam was awake. Probably not. They had chatted until three-thirty.

But maybe Sam was awake. And downstairs. Gotta look nice for her. Allison sifted through her clothes, of which there were not many. She was not officially living at the house yet, but the reason for her lack of clothes was because she, Susan and Allen were poor. Dirt poor. They'd shared their apartment with ants and cockroaches. Now they lived in this palace of sorts, but Allison's wardrobe had not caught up. Nor did she plan to ask Barry for money or handouts.

Allison settled on the usual black pants she wore to work and on a green sweater that would bring out her eyes. After she dressed, she studied herself in the mirror. She looked good. The sweater hugged her curves and her chest in all the right places. The pants and her boots made her look taller.

Sam, of course, was not downstairs. Allen was watching TV. "Colors!" he squealed. "We learn colors."

"Okay, I'll show you a few before work."

Allen ran for his kiddie sign language book, and Allison wandered into the kitchen for a Slimfast. Barry was already there, swilling a Rich Chocolate Royale.

"Hey, Allison," he said. "Sam came home last night."

A smile stole across Allison's face. "I know. I was up. We met."

"How'd it go?"

Allison pulled a Creamy Milk Chocolate from the refrigerator and met her stepfather’s hopeful gaze. "We got along great."

"Wonderful. You'll be good for my daughter. You're exactly the influence she needs."

*****

Sam woke up at noon, to Corny's tail slapping her face. He licked her cheeks for good measure.

"Ugh." Sam wiped her face and sat up. "Dude. You're gross. You're lucky you're cute." She tumbled out of bed and into the bathroom.

Allison. This was bad, if Sam was thinking about Allison first thing in the morning. Something was different with Allison. Something Sam could not quite put her finger on. Perhaps it was that Allison would grow to like her back, after all.

Sam combed her hair. No. That was what she said, each and every time, and it never came true. Geez. She was deluding herself again. She brushed her teeth and slipped into her favorite pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Her stomach was killing her, and she vowed to have a good lunch, no matter what Susan decreed.

*****

Barry was the only person downstairs. He greeted Sam with a bear hug and held her tight. He let go after a moment and peered into her face. "I screwed up. I'm sorry."

Sam smiled uneasily. "It was a shock."

"I'm glad you're back early from Julia's. Susan and I are. She's a wonderful woman, she really is, and she's excited about getting to know you. So are Allison and Allen."

Sam did not reply.

"I know this is sudden, but remember—"

"I know," Sam interrupted. "You and Mom did the same thing. Blah blah blah."

Barry became wistful. "When I laid eyes on your mother for the first time, I knew she was the one for me. It was the same with Susan. I walked into that cafe three months ago." He shrugged. "I saw her, and I knew she would be my wife one day. It scared me. That’s why it took me so long to ask her out."

"Why’d it scare you?"

Barry flicked an invisible speck of dirt from his shirt. He furrowed his brow and puckered his lips. He seemed on the verge of tears. No, no, don’t cry. "Well, Sam, it scared me because I never thought I could feel for anyone else the way I did for your mother. You might not remember how I was after she and Lucas died, but I couldn’t take care of you for a long time. Thank God Julia and Gerald were there to take you and Corny in. Anyway, to have those feelings again, out of the blue, I was scared. And yeah, Sam, I felt guilty. I felt like I was betraying your mother. I did some deep soul-searching. I talked with Father Charles. I realized that what I was feeling was okay. Healthy. It was time to move on."

"Oh."

"She makes me happy, Sam. I’m sorry for how I sprung this on you. I didn’t know exactly how to tell you. Please don't punish the woman I love because I'm a bumbling fool."

"Okay."

Barry jerked his thumb toward the front door. "So, let's have a good day. Susan and Allen will be home soon, and we can eat lunch. Allison gets home from work at four, and we're going to have fun."

"Allison works?"

"Oh, yeah. Over at The Addict."

Sam nodded slowly. She knew the coffee place but had never been there.

"Tomorrow, Susan will take you and Allison for lunch and shopping. Ladies' day out, quality time together."

Sam gritted her teeth. Great.

*****

After a tiny lunch of salad prepared by Her Evil Highness, Sam feigned a stomachache. She sneaked Corny upstairs, and they spent the afternoon holed up in her room. At four-fifteen, Barry coaxed Sam downstairs for "fun time." Sam followed her father to the dining room, and there, at the foot of the table and sitting next to Allen, was Allison. Her beauty had doubled since last night. Sam's brain turned to mush, but she managed to smile at her stepsister-to-be.

"Sit here." Allison patted the open seat on her other side, and Sam slid in. Play it cool.

Susan brought a box from under the table and waggled a knowing eyebrow at Sam. Shimmery pink paper covered the package, and a white bow topped it.

"You can read Susan's lips pretty well?" Barry asked.

"I guess."

"I wanted to give you a small something, darling. We can get lots more like this tomorrow at the mall!"

Sam could not look directly at the box; the pink was blinding. But at least Susan was making an effort. Sam took the gift and stripped the wrapping paper off. The present was a pink sweater. And too small for Sam, not that she'd want to wear it. Sam stared at the mangy thing. Ew. Double ew. After a few seconds, she remembered her manners and smiled. "Thank you," she signed to Susan.

"Go try it on!" Susan exclaimed.

Try it on? Hell no.

"Go try it on!"

Barry nodded eagerly. "Model that for us, sweetheart! You'll look great."

Sam’s gaze slid to the stack of Uno cards on the table. Cutesy, girly sweaters were not her thing, and that piece of crap would be hell to get on and off. "Later."

Susan apparently got the gist of Sam's message, because her face fell. "She doesn’t like it, does she, Beauregard?"

Barry steeled his jaw. "She likes it. Go try it on, sweetheart."

Sam pushed her chair back and clambered up to her room. She slid her loose-fitting T-shirt off and fought to get the pink monster on. She resorted to sucking in her stomach and praying for the best. The sweater clung to her like a second skin. She could hardly breathe. She felt like a tin man who needed oiling.

Fuck this.

Sam would go back downstairs, twirl around once, exactly once! After that, she would return to her room, get her scissors and cut the sweater off. She would never lay eyes on the stubborn, ugly fucker again for as long as she lived.

Susan lit up when Sam stepped into the dining room. "Perfect!" Susan shrilled. "Oh, Beauregard!" She clapped her hands together. "It’s a perfect fit!"

Barry brought his fingers to his lips and whistled. "Wow. You look great."

Allen giggled and pointed, and Sam felt her first wave of affection toward the boy. Finally, someone else understood how ludicrous the situation was.

But Allison's reaction sent tingles racing through Sam. Allison was not amused, like Allen was. She was not beaming from ear to ear like Susan and Barry were. She was staring, as if she were in awe. She was stunned.

Sam became aware of her own breasts straining against the tight sweater, of pointy nipples, and she crossed her tin-man arms.

"It’s much more form-fitting than what you had on before," Susan exclaimed. "Don’t you love it, Samantha?"

Sam smiled weakly, and Barry motioned for her to sit. "Come on, let's play."

Indecision tore at Sam. She hated the sweater; it was stiflingly small and fuzzy. It was making her itchy as hell. It was from that crazy Susan. But Sam knew what she saw. She knew what she saw. Or did she? Was she reading too much into Allison's wide, amazed eyes?

Sam took a tentative step forward, and then another. Fine. She could live with the sweater for a few more hours as a favor to her father and future stepmother. Plus if Allison liked how it looked...well, fine.

"So!" Barry boomed. "Time for me to whup y'all's butts." He dealt the cards, and Susan proceeded to drape herself over Barry. Sam hated the way Susan batted her eyelashes at Barry and caressed his shoulder, but most of all, she despised how her usually sensible father giggled at everything Susan said and did. He was a smart man. Why could he not see his fiancee was a superficial airhead?

Susan mouthed at Sam: "Has Allison told you about Joshua?"

The image of the wavy-haired youth flashed into Sam's mind. She hated the dude already.

"Joshua's great," Barry signed. "You'll love him."

"He couldn't join us today," Susan mouthed. "He had a basketball meeting. He made the all-conference team last year. As a sophomore! Imagine. What an honor." Susan talked some more, becoming so excited about Joshua that her words ran together. Sam could no longer understand Susan, which was definitely for the best.

After Susan finished her ramble, Barry chimed in, then Allison did. They were all talking, jabbering. No signing. Sam thought she caught the word "skirt" on Susan's lips a few times.

Sam settled in for another long night of being excluded, not that she expected anything else. She hated socializing with hearing people, and even after seventeen years, her father did not get it. The sweater was becoming more unbearable, and Sam cursed herself for leaving it on. Trying to impress Allison? Trying not to get grounded? So what?

The group played a few hands of Uno, and Sam's scowl deepened. Fucking hell. The sweater was killing her; it was freakishly itchy. Sam was ready to leap to her feet and rip the damn thing off with her bare hands. Then she was going to murder Susan.

Sam glanced around the dining room, wondering what they would have for dinner. More salad? Kiss my ass. Sam's gaze fell onto Allen. The boy, his green eyes big and round as usual, was studying her. He offered a shy smile, and Sam jerked her head. Whatever, kid. Stop staring.

Allen stuck his tongue out, and Sam could not help but grin. The kid was probably as bored as she was. Yeah, fine. Sam played along, sticking her tongue out. In response, Allen snaked his tongue out of his mouth until it reached the tip of his nose.

Sam cocked an eyebrow. Impressive. Wonder if Allison can do that.

*****

Allen won the first game. And the second. After his third victory, Allison turned to Sam and half-signed, half-spoke: "Don't feel bad about a three-year-old beating you. He’s obsessed with Uno."

Sam was grumpy and in no mood to joke. The only acknowledgement she bestowed upon Allison was a tilt of the head.

Allison nudged Sam. "You okay?"

"Fine."

"What's wrong? Are you mad at me?"

Sam chuckled. What was she supposed to say? I'm having the time of my life, except that, well, y'all are leaving me out, I hate your mother, a snotty-nosed brat is whipping my ass in Uno, this sweater is driving me up the wall, and oh, yeah, I wanna kill your boyfriend.

How was that?

"Not mad," Sam signed.

The game began, and, surprise, big, huge, giant surprise, Allen took an early lead.

"Sam, come on," Allison urged. "What's wrong?"

Fine. Sam scrawled her response: "I'm bored as hell. I have no fucking idea what anyone's saying."

Allison signed, "I'm sorry," then she wrote: "I didn't realize. I thought maybe that...I don’t know. Why doesn't your dad sign for you?"

Sam snorted and drew four Uno cards.

"No. What?"

Sam wrote: "He doesn’t mean to. It just… you know. I’m used to it."

She and Allison began to exchange written messages quickly, only stopping for their Uno turns. "I wish I wasn't so slow. I could interpret for you," Allison remarked.

"You all are probably talking about boring crap anyway."

"Well…" Allison paused for a second to pay more attention to the voiced conversation. "Barry and my mother are talking about going bird watching sometime."

Sam sat back smugly. "See. Boring crap." Wonder if you'd enjoy girl watching.

"What are you two writing about?" Barry asked, voicing and signing. "Plotting to wrestle the game from Allen?"

"I asked Sam why you don’t sign for her," Allison replied in voice and halting sign.

Barry froze, and Susan's gray eyes widened.

Sam shot Allison a hard, deep glower. It's my business. I don’t need you sticking up for me.

Barry laid his cards down. "I know I should. I forget. When you have all those conversations going on…" He caught himself not signing and threw a couple of clumsy signs in. "It’s no excuse."

Susan reached for his hand. "Of course you can’t do it all, Beauregard. Allison realizes that."

"No." Barry's reply was earnest, and he turned an appealing gaze on Sam. "I do need to sign more. I’m sorry."

Sam nodded. This was what happened every time. Barry promised to do better but forgot five minutes later. He did mean well, and it was not just him. Most hearing people did it, except for Julia. "Okay. Whatever."

The card game resumed, but without conversation. Allen won a few minutes later and announced he wanted to watch The Lion King.

Sam staked out the sole armchair in the living room. She was determined to stay as far from Allison as possible — not just because being around Allison made Sam light-headed, but because she was still miffed at Allison for nosing into her business. Barry and Susan curled up on the loveseat, and Allison and Allen sat on the couch.

After the movie started, Allen pointed at boxed words running across the bottom of the TV screen. "What's that?"

"That's the closed-caption," Barry explained. "That puts the sound into words so Sam can understand the movie. Like how the lights flash when the phone and doorbell ring."

"Cool!" Allen bounced in his seat as if he had won a prize.

Sam rolled her eyes. Get a life, kid. She settled back into her chair. She crossed her tin-man arms and fixed her attention on the TV. Lion King, okay. Lion King, yay! She tried to focus on the animals jumping across the screen, and with Allison only a few feet away.

Don't look. Don't look.

Sam knew she had willpower. She refused to give in to her temptation. She vowed not to look. She would not look. Wild horses could not make her peek. She would not look even if the couch burst into flames.

Sam looked. A tiny, furtive look, and it broke her heart. Allen was in Allison's lap, and his eyes were glued to the TV screen. Sam admitted to herself at last that the child was adorable and not too bad of a kid. Allen exclaimed something and wriggled. Allison pulled him closer. A pang of loneliness hit Sam, and she turned back to the TV. She stared at it blankly.

No. Don't think about them.

Sam balled her hands into fists. Her father had Susan, and Allison had Allen. But who did Sam have? Only that itchy, god-awful sweater she was going to fucking kill.

This is an excerpt. The final version may be slightly different. For the entire story, check out Amazon, Smashwords and Barnes & Noble IN JANUARY 2012.

You can also email me at yllek_q@yahoo.com for a copy. :-)

Q. Kelly's other lesfic books:

Waiting

Strange Bedfellows

The Odd Couple

The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories

Drop your Thursday night plans!

2011-12-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

Have plans Thursday night? DROP 'EM ;-) No, not really, but from Lara Z. comes thus: This Thursday, December 15 on Readings in Lesbian & Bisexual Women's Fiction I have the pleasure of interviewing Q. Kelly, author of the very popular books (and ebooks) "Waiting" "The Odd Couple" and "Strange Bedfellows."

Tune in Thursday to catch the interview:

Q. Kelly will be in the chat room during the show for your questions, and her wife, Melanie, will be on the air with me.

Click here for all the connection details:
http://blogtalkradio.com/readingslab

*** OK, back to me now (Q. Kelly). In case you're wondering why my wife is on the air, it's because I am deaf. (The same arrangement went on for the Cocktail Hour chat here.)

AND if you're deaf/hh and you'd like a transcript, I have one to send you starting at show time and anytime thereafter.

"The Odd Couple" is free on Amazon Kindle today and tomorrow only

2011-12-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

As part of a special promo offer, "The Odd Couple" is free
on Amazon Kindle US today and tomorrow only. And guess what UK, residents? Amazon UK is on this deal too. Just click on the links. (Update: A German reader just let me know "The Odd Couple" is free on Amazon Germany too. For some reason, the German website's never had direct links to books, but here's the general link: http://amazon.co.de/)

"The Odd Couple" was a Golden Crown Literary Society finalist for best debut book.

Blurb:
Morrisey Hawthorne and her four-year-old son, Gareth, have a pretty good life. Then one day they meet Charlene Sudsbury, who is trying to move on from the suicide of her son, JP, three years before. Gareth is nearly the mirror image of JP, and Charlene connects instantly with him. Not quite so with Morrisey, who can't escape fast enough after Charlene shows her a picture of JP. Charlene is convinced Morrisey is hiding something and sets out in search of the truth.

Despite the circumstances, the two women form an unusual bond and end up with a lot more than they bargained for. But when an old friend of JP's resurfaces, he challenges the fragile trust Morrisey and Charlene have been building.

Can these two women overcome the obstacles that separate them from the happiness they seek?

"The Odd Couple" in Kindle Select Program

2011-12-09T06:34:00.000-08:00

OK, so I decided to give the new Amazon KDP select program a whirl with only "The Odd Couple," which barely sells outside of Kindle, anyway. Check "TOC" out for free if you're a prime member. We'll see how this experiment goes, but I really don't like the idea of having my digital copies exclusive only to Kindle. If I continue with this program, it'll be for books that have been out a while and that have low sales outside of Kindle. In other words, I don't envision "All in the Family" and "Third" coming out on Kindle only.

And here's an oldie but goodie review of "TOC" on the Rainbow Reader. Here's one part of it: "It was entirely similar to riding a Tunnel of Love in an amusement park, with the added attraction of wonderfully done characterizations, taut plotting, and the quest to bring the characters through successfully to the end so that they could truly discover their own “Happily Ever Afters.” The Odd Couple is most definitely worth reading, and its readership need not be limited to fans of Lesbian fiction. Oh, no, this is a novel that deserves maximum readership exposure."

"Strange Bedfellows" wins Rainbow Award!

2011-12-07T11:58:00.000-08:00

Woo! I am psyched like you would not believe. "Strange Bedfellows" tied for second for the 2011 LGBT Rainbow Awards. (Note: These awards run from, I believe, September to August, so the 2011 year isn't the regular calendar year, and is also why "SB" is the only book I could enter for 2011.)

Congrats to all the winners.

Best Lesbian Contemporary Romance

And the Rainbow Award goes to:
1) Robin Summers - After the Fall
2-tie) Colette Moody - Parties in Congress
Q. Kelly - Strange Bedfellows
3) Karis Walsh – Harmony
Honourable Mention:
5) Lisa Girolami - Jane Doe
6) Bobbi Marolt - Loving Liz
7) Lesley Davis - Playing Passion’s Game
8) Radclyffe – Firestorm
9-tie) Rachel Spangler - The Long Way Home
D.L. Line - Head Trip

More about the awards here.

What the judges said about "Strange Bedfellows":

I've read books that are so good that I just can't put them down until I finish them. I've also read books that have been very difficult to get through because they are terrible. This book was different. I wanted the story to go on forever and found myself putting it down just so that I could come back to it later! It's kind of difficult to explain but it was so well written, and the characters were so realistic, I just wanted to have it to come back to again and again. Great read! --Mitzie

Loved the characters, loved the story! --Tammy

How dang long does it take me to write a book?

2011-12-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me recently for the average time it takes me to write a book. I've fielded similar questions from others, so here's a blog post on that. Bottom line: Um, can't really give an average ;-)

I can't really give an average because circumstances are so individual. For example, am I writing a book right from scratch or is it based, at least in part, on an earlier work? Am I working on the book full time or part time? Is the plot gelling and coming together really well?

Anyway, I'd say three months to three years on average, three months being if I'm working on the book full time and parts of it have already been done earlier. Three years, as with "Waiting," if it is from scratch, if I'm working on it part time, the plot isn't gelling as well as it should, and I'm working on another book at the same time, as I was with "Strange Bedfellows" and "Waiting."

Now that I'm writing full time, my averages should get shorter.

****

We'll define time length from the time a book is started to when a final draft is submitted for final publication.

Here are the times for all my published works so far plus two unpublished.

"The Odd Couple" - about two or three years for the first edition but technically more like seven years because I did a not insignificant revision for the second edition. The first draft of TOC was written while I was in college.

"Strange Bedfellows" - about a year and some change

"Waiting" - about three years (lots of put-aside time, revision time, changed one of the romance leads, and overlap time with "SB")

Both my short story collections took probably a couple of years and have been complete for a couple of years. I just didn't do anything with them until I went indie.

"Third" - I started this in, I believe, October, and it gelled quicker than any of my books had. However, it's based in part on an earlier novella, so we can go back and say "Third" actually started a few years earlier than this. This is also my first work when I could write full time. The first draft is vaguely done, but significant work remains on "Third" before it is publication-ready.

"All in the Family" - actually my very first book. Started it in college about 1999, and it'll be published in 2012, so you can do the math ;-) This one in particular has been revision-ville. One day, I was not feeling "Third," so I opened the AITF file. I got excited about it again, and working full time allowed me to get it publication-ready in about a month.

***

So, in sum, while it may seem like I'm throwing stuff out there, "Third" is the only one I didn't have at this time, say, a year ago, and even then, two of the characters came from an earlier novella.

Phair's at the door

2011-12-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Phair.
Phair who?

Well, we're about to find out! :) Author Phair is chillaxing here for a while and answered some questions from moi.

So, introduce yourself and your books. And how did you come up with your penname?
I'm an author. Still need to pause with awe each time I say or write that word. It is most improbable for me to a writer. I was a functional illiterate until I was 16. Dyslexia was not well understood in the 1960s while I was navigating grade school. The teachers told my mom more than once I was retarded. I believed them. She did not.

She kept talking and trying to find somebody to help me. I was in eight schools by the time I graduated from high school.  It was a private college prep high school.  My parents could barely afford it. The guidance counselor hounded me about telling my parents i was too stupid to waste money on. A public school would be good enough for a remedial student such as myself. I believed the teacher's assessment of my own skills more than i believed my own parents faith in me intelligence. In that aspect, I was, indeed, very dumb.

You're probably wondering how I tested into a private school if I couldn't read. Multiple choice tests are actually very easy to figure out. I matched the words. Any answer having the most words that matched the text was most likely right. This works in all areas except math. Math has always been my worst subject which is amazing since I couldn't read.

Then my life changed overnight. I was assigned to read To Kill A Mockingbird. The simplicity of the prose connecting such complex thoughts made my sluggish reading synapses fire and spark to life. I was finally able to understand letters make word which make sentences which convey meaning. Why didn't they just say that in first grade instead of this Jane and Dick running around nonsense?

Words intrigued me. Maybe because they were so elusive and at times still are. Maybe it was their silent power.  Whatever the mystique, I was intoxicated with them. Some girls play with makeup in their teens; I dabbled in poetry. I dangled prepositions. I stopped capitalizing because ee cummings made me cry for the beauty of his words. (Side note: Some of phair's "i"s, as in the subject pronoun, had been lowercase, and I changed them to uppercase. And dang it, I just noticed this sentence about not capitalizing! Don't know how I overlooked it before. Sorry, Phair ;-) )

Poems are vital to civilization. But, you can't make a living at it. i went to college for something else and then onto a masters degree. So much for the initial retarded theory.

But, the words kept calling me. Nagging me to play with them. Poetry wasn't going to sell. So, I took a short story writing course. It was horror fiction. My first story won the professors grudging praise. Initially, he thought i plagiarized it. What is it with me and educators?

I started writing horror fiction in the late 80's for staple backed 'zines. The Internet crushed them into oblivion over night in the 90's and horror was sent to slumber-land after the Sixth Sense. Sci fi grabbed the throne briefly with on-line 'zines. I stumbled into it from an old friend who migrated from the horror genre. Sci fi edged into the Xenaverse which cascaded into lesbian fiction.

The fan base in lesbian fiction is fantastic. I've been publishing stories since 1989, through multiple genres and this is the most supportive, vocal, and involved fan base I've seen yet.

I write under my own name, Marguerite Mullaney, and a pen name, phair. There are also slight deviations of both; mullaney, ht phair. The pen name is something I claimed when I was 16 and figured out how this reading and writing stuff worked.  It is a nod to my Mom. She did not understand my art. She was a musician. She loved to read but never considered the writers as artists. Still, she supported me education against all good advice. So, I took her family name as my own.

By the way, my dad totally got it. He used to get the mail with my latest horror story in while I was off working the day job. He'd wait with the 'zine on the coffee table for me to come home. There would be a ghoulish figure with fang or a troll or which boiling children on the 'zine cover and he would be sitting smiling, looking at me over his glasses. My elderly, gray haired father would say, would it be okay for me to read this one?' I always said sure and he always said it was wonderful.

My novels:
The Aethereal Sea came out in 2003. It is out of print but can still be purchased directly from me at my website. It is a sci fi story about the fate of the universe.

Coward, also a sci fi novel, is due out from LBooks in December or January. It is the story of an army officer who defies a command to save her squad. She is convicted of treason, branded a coward, and sent to a remote penal colony on a distant planet. A lifelong homophobe, she is forced to depend on the tent rat who is given to her as her whipping bitch. Survival turns to love making the unbearable enjoyable. So, of course, somebody has to show up ruin her hard won happiness.

Anatomy of a Commitment is a short story included in LBooks holiday anthology. It is snips of conversations over the course of relationship.

Commencement is a novel available as an e-book at Amazon. The story follows Ash, a ward of the state, from her high school graduation into her new life as an adult. Due to early abuse, she is sorely lacking in social skills. But, one woman sees her strength and shines on moment of kindness on her that changes everything.

Website: http://www.phair1.com/

21 free stories
20 stories in the subscription service

So, how does the subscription service work? What made you decide to go a subscription-based way?
The subscription service is called the Dirty Story of The Month club or DsofM. The cost for the remainder of this year is $19. Renewal rates are locked into the year of purchase. So those subscribing this year will be charge $19 each annual renewal cycle. 2012's cost will be $21. Every month there is a new story available on to members with a password. They also have exclusive access to the Chat Room. I was having monthly chats but they are not very popular so I'm going to change is to quarterly.

Why a subscription service? I want to earn my living writing. Book sales alone will not accomplish that in the indie publishing and small press world. If I'm going to get to be a full time writer then I need multiple avenues of revenue sources. I'd like to say it was for art's sake but that would be a lie.

I did learn something very disheartening about my readers. They continue to flock to my free stories at a rate of 300 to 400 hits daily but very few will subscribe. As one reader said in an email she accidentally forwarded to my entire mailing list, 'she's (me) not worth that kind of money,' It was really hard to read that and not flip out. Considering one of my stories was a three time story on the week at that reader's website, her statement was a bit hypocritical.

It is commentary like that which makes you want to pull and Emily Dickenson and roll up all your writing in a draw, hidden from a critical world.

My website has well over two hundred thousand words between both sites. Oh, and I almost forgot my favorite feature. Build a Novel. It is my Genghis Khan inspired scifi story that is a work in progress at the sight. Readers can watch me as I work on it. It's like watching paint dry I imagine but on paper it seemed like such a good idea.

My writing has not been without cost. I lost a good job because somebody felt 'threatened' by the adult content of my writing. She was 36 years old. My company investigated me and cleared me of any wrong doing. I felt unwelcome in spite of there attempts to quiet the issue. The company rep had made it clear they did not approve of the nature of my work.

So, with all your traditional and nontraditional revenue sources, are you able to reach your goal and make a living writing? Also, do you think you might write general fiction for a mass audience one day? The money you earn from that might be able to allow you to write in the lesbian fiction niche.
Not even close to making a living but I'm just really getting all the individual pieces together now. The website was only revamp last December from a decade old template. I have a professional IT team helping with the techie stuff. It accepts PayPal for purchases of books, t-shirts and sundries.

My second novel, Coward, from a publishing house isn't going to be released until December or January. My publisher this time is L-Books. They are a dream to work with. This Christmas Roxanne and the gang at L are giving away anthologies with purchases. For details, see their website. Included is one of my stories, Anatomy of a Commitment. In support of Coward and L-Books, I'm planning on being at Women's Week in P-town next year.

I also have a website that is primarly pictures of the beach. Sometimes, poems. I consider it my webzen moment of the day. that can be found at http://www.gulltimes.com.

I do write mainstream as well. it is very difficult to break in. I'm hoping my Genghis Khan novel will be the piece that gets me in the door.

How do you do research for your works, such as the Genghis Khan one?
Usually, the research is first. Before the idea. I read several newspapers daily and stay current with studies in science and healthcare. At least once a day, random information in my head slams together like the old "you got peanut butter in my chocolate commercials." An implausible or unbearable concept will form and I flesh it out.

Commencement was spawned by three separate ideas that hit a pile up in my brain one stray week: 1. I read a very short book of quotes from Mr. Rogers. It was cute. 2. There was a feature article in the Boston Globe about wards of the state turning 18 and becoming homeless with no support system. 3. My nephew was graduating from a very posh high school and I was warned by my sister in law the ceremony sometimes got uncomfortable. The principle and vice principle each read a short appraisal of the graduate that was not always flattering. In fact, at his ceremony they outed one teen. The three concepts congealed into the Ash series of short stories. I complied them later into the Commencement which is now available at Kindle.

Commencement was rejected by a publisher with a lengthy letter. It was brutal because so much of what the editor complained about had been researched and the editor was just plain wrong. I sucked it up and wanted something new.

I was chatting with my sister one day about expanding my horizons into new subject areas and she recommended a book she had just finished: Genghis Khan and the making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford. It was brilliant. He made a historical novel read like a compelling adventure. I'm serious. It was edge of your seat reading. I knew I wanted to write about the steppes as I was reading it so I started my research with Wikipedia and then watched a docudrama from the bbc. Mongolia has its own website which was a treasure trove of info. But, whenever I think of the Genghis I think of my sister. She has a real love of time travel. That became the pivotal issue in my story. The info I read about the supercollider added fuel to my limited physics background. But, in the end, it is a love story. A straight love story. Underneath all the violence, I'm a romantic.

You are also doing a collaboration with Being Anders on her website. The story is called Deadtown. It is a mass murder mystery. How is the collaboration going? How is it different from writing alone? (http://betting-on-the-muse.com/newer-deadtown/)
I thought collaborating would be hard. I don't enjoy people taking liberties with my words for the stories I write alone. The concept initially felt weird. We needed to merge two very distinctive styles into one cohesive narrative and do it across time zones. Anders is 12 hours ahead of me literally.

But, Anders had a solid concept for the lead character. A female Irish Catholic Boston police detective with a huge drinking problem and more demons than bullets in her automatic. Once we had the lead character, I took some pictures of the area around Boston which would be the crime scenes. Anders has never been to Boston. So, with the lead character, setting and general story idea formed we began. Our style fluctuates between me staring a chapter and Anders fleshing it out to Anders starting and me fleshing it out.

Amazingly, disagree strongly on very little. We quibble but one or the other of us will cave on any disputed item. The next go round the other writer usually wins the discussion.

And, Anders has been a particularly supportive friend to me this year. When I had a grand mal seizure last December, she emailed daily to check on me. If i was feeling to bad for myself she'd give me a verbal boot in the bottom. It was most like that those ongoing emails that prepped us for writing together.

She's an enormously talented writer. Her short story, Fables, is about as perfect as a tale can be. And she's going to have my head on a stick for saying so. But, I have to tell the truth.

The links:
My website to purchase membership, books, t-shirts, or read free stuff:
http://www.phair1.com/

Commencement is available at Kindle:
http://www.amazon.com/Commencement-The-Ash-Series-ebook/dp/B00588V1BG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1322456216&sr=8-2

My webzen moment of the day website, the Gull Times, is updated daily with photos of the beach:
http://gulltimes.com/

L-Books will be publishing my second novel with a publisher, Coward, in late 2011 or early 2012:
http://l-book.com/coming_soon.html

And, deadtown is posted free at Anders site:
http://betting-on-the-muse.com/

Email Phair! p.phair(at)comcast(dot)net (not clickable so spammers can't grab this)

"All in the Family" cover and blurb (updated with excerpt)

2011-11-30T16:29:00.000-08:00

Look for "All in the Family" in January 2012,
in e-book and paperback :)

"All in the Family"

Allison Albrecht and Samantha Cannizarro are thrown together when their parents become engaged. Sam is deaf, so Allison begins to learn sign language. Allison is eager to please Sam and to make a good impression on her. Sam does not care about good impressions. She is a loner, always has been, and she resents her new instant family, especially her stepmother-to-be. Sam is also reluctant to bond with three-year-old Allen. However, Allison and Allen gradually crack Sam's facade, and the two girls fall in love.

But life in a stepfamily is rarely easy. Throw in romance between two stepsiblings, and the ride is going to be bumpy.

*****

EXCERPT FROM ALL IN THE FAMILY BY Q. KELLY

(From chapter nine)

Sam fingered the note in her pocket. "Did you have fun this week?"

"Lots of fun," Allison replied, but her uneasy smile told a different story.

"Was shopping with your mother fun?"

"Eh. It was fine."

Sam and Allison strolled for about two miles. Sam tried to enjoy the caress of the wet sand under her feet but gave up. There was no use; her thoughts were fixated on one person only, and her stomach clenched every time she sneaked a look at Allison. Sam had the overwhelming need to say something, anything. "Corny didn't like the beach. Dad and I took him one time."

Allison stopped in mid-stride. "Yeah?"

Sam smiled at the memory. "He hated it. He was thrilled to get home. I never liked the beach either, but Dad's crazy about it. Ick. Sunburn, overweight men in Speedos." What are you doing? Talking about her dead dog and the downsides to the beach was not the way to ease into the conversation she needed to have.

"I kind of like the beach," Allison countered. "Way too crowded at this time of year. It’d be perfect in the fall or winter."

Sam nodded her agreement.

Another mile passed. "We should turn back," Allison said.

Sam's heart sank. "Guess so." She and Allison reversed direction.

"I had a lot of fun with you this week. I always do. But you've been quiet. Distracted."

"Yep." Sam mentally kicked herself for being such a chicken. But she was not the only nervous one. Allison kept wiping the palms of her hands against her shorts. She's nervous too. Why am I rushing this? They needed more time. They had been on pinpricks around each other. Better to go back to the way it was. Right?

"Are you okay?" Allison asked.

Sam stopped. Allison was giving her the perfect opening. On purpose? "I'm fine," Sam began. "I just..." Do it, do it. She remembered one of her lines. But only the first line. The rest she forgot.

Sam tried to smile but could not. "Let’s go on."

About half an hour later, the condo building came into view. They would be back in about five minutes. Great. Sam became angrier by the second. She had accomplished nothing. This dickering was going to stop. Right now. She was going to pull Allison to her and kiss her. She was too chicken with words, so a kiss would have to do.

Allison brushed her fingers against Sam’s, just a tiny bit, as if she was testing. When Sam did not resist, Allison entwined their hands.

Goosebumps invaded Sam's body. Oh, God, oh God. Allison had taken her hand. They were holding hands. It felt good, so good. Allison liked her. She did! She must. Because stepsisters did not do this. Friends did not do this.

Sam stared at a light in the distance, and Allison tightened her grasp and edged closer. The beach world disappeared. Sam forgot about the water lapping at her feet and about the few stars peeking out. She was lost in bliss. Everything was right in the universe.

A group of male revelers shook Sam out of her daze. The men were throwing wood into a bonfire in front of the condo building. Sam wondered if she should let go of Allison's hand. Or if Allison would do it. Neither broke the contact. Their touch gradually slipped away as if nothing had happened.

Note. Now.

Sam’s fingers curled around the note in her pocket, and she pried it out. No going back. This is it. Sam jammed the paper in Allison’s hand.

Allison jerked back as if she had been scorched by hot coals, and Sam retreated a few steps away.

Allison unfolded the note with a painful slowness and read. She did not look at Sam, but Sam took in every detail of her stepsister's reaction: every twitch, every blink, every movement. As Sam went over the note in her mind, she cursed herself. What had she been thinking? It was cheesy. Nonchalant. Incoherent. Allison would burst out laughing.

Allison- The past few months with you have been incredible. From the first moment I set eyes on you, I knew you were special. I think about you all the time: your smile, your hair, the way you look at me and interpret for me. I'm crazy about you. But if you just want to be friends, if you don't return my feelings, I hope I haven't screwed up too much. I'd love to be your friend.

Always, Sam

Sam willed herself not to cry. She had irreparably ruined her relationship with her stepsister, hadn't she? What had she been thinking? Allison did not like her back romantically. Why would she? Sam hoped Allison would be her friend. She would be okay with that, truly.

Allison looked up at Sam, and Sam saw everything in Allison's gaze. Tears. Love. Anxiety. The world. A future. "This is the sweetest thing anyone's done for me."

Sam swallowed. Wait for the "but."

She waited. And waited. Nothing.

"But what?" Sam prompted.

Allison blinked. "No but."

"No but?"

Allison ventured a little, half-scared, half-shy smile. "I fell for you the first time I met you. No, before that. When your dad showed me your picture. I think it was your smile. How mysterious it was, and your eyes."

"I’ve never kissed a girl," Sam said.

"Neither have I."

"Can I kiss you? Now?"

Allison nodded jerkily. "Now's good. And later. Both."

"Really?"

Allison took a tiny step forward. "Yes."

This is an excerpt. The final version may be slightly different. For the entire story, check out Amazon, Smashwords and Barnes & Noble IN JANUARY 2012.

You can also email me at yllek_q@yahoo.com for a copy. :-)

Q. Kelly's other lesfic books:

Waiting

Strange Bedfellows

The Odd Couple

The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories

Lucifer is a fleshed-out protagonist, thanks to Darcy Town

2011-11-22T10:21:00.000-08:00

Author Darcy Town was in the piping-hot seat recently as I interviewed her. Okay, maybe the seat was not that hot. She talked about her books and going indie. One thing I found interesting was that she is an introvert. So am I. I gotta tell y'all, the Internet and e-books are a godsend for us introverts. We can reach out to a worldwide audience from our home offices. (Of course, going out to, say, pride fairs and bookstores in person never hurts. I have done it, and it is fun.)

Without further ado, here is Darcy Town. (She's the gal in the picture.)

Hey, Darcy! So, introduce yourself and your books.

I'm a 26-year-old Seattle native. I've been writing regularly for the last four years. I recently published Morningstar on Amazon's Kindle. It's paranormal romance meets religious action/adventure and is the first book in the Morningstar Trilogy. The story is not weighed down with religious "fact." Lucifer is a fleshed out protagonist, not just a plot device, and the story doesn't take itself too seriously. It's meant to be funny.

Wastes of Space is the first book of my second series. It is hard science fiction, but I keep the same tongue-in-cheek tone of Morningstar. The main character, Rake, is a drug-addicted prostitute and former astronaut. Being saddled with an alien runaway and chased by bounty hunters is the step up in his life that he dearly needs.

What has been your favorite thing so far about publishing a book, and do you plan to expand distribution beyond the Kindle?
My favorite part of publishing has been getting to know new readers. I'm a bit of an introvert, so this has been a great opportunity to reach out and talk to people that I normally would never have met.

I do plan on expanding into print within the next few weeks, fingers crossed. I'm working through that formatting process now. It is definitely a challenge, but I think once I see my story in print that will make up for the stress I'm going through now.

I totally understand what you mean by formatting. You should have seen me trying to whip my first print book into shape (my first e-book too). OK, so no plans right now to get your stuff on, say, the Nook and on the Smashwords distribution network?
Haha. I'd say yes, I will look into both of those formats for 2012. Right now I don't want to see another e-book formatting piece of software for at least a week. ;)

Gotcha. Totally. With "Strange Bedfellows" (my first e-book), people who didn't buy from BN and Amazon were asking if or when it'd be on Smashwords. I said in a couple of weeks, once I recovered from my BN and Amazon formatting ordeals ;-) The good news is the process is so much easier for subsequent books. So, you're a writer, no easy task. How did you get to be a writer and what was your learning process?
That's good to hear! :) I know I won't make the same types of mistakes next time.

I've dabbled in writing off and on since I was a kid, but it did not become something that I thought about pursuing seriously until my senior year in high school. We had senior projects: a paper + presentation + so many hours of work before we could graduate. It struck me that I could easily get the hours portion from writing, so I built a flimsy project idea around that and went with it. I don't remember the project that well, but the book stuck with me for years. I finally finished it after I graduated from college and after that writing became a daily routine.

Daily routine? Wow. So, are you the type of writer who has a set schedule (not the type who writes whenever the mood strikes)? Also, are you writing full time or as a side job/enjoyment?
It's enjoyment at this stage, though I'd love to make a living from it (maybe some day!)

I have a banking job that allows me to work from home full time. This means that I can use my lunchtime, short breaks, and time saved on commutes to write. I don't think of it as a set schedule, but that's usually how it plays out.

Mood does factor into productivity, but if I'm not feeling inspired to write something new then I use the time to edit what I've already written. I also have at least one new story kicking around in my head, so if I'm not feeling like editing or writing, then I use that time to plot out scenes for the next story.

So what are some of your favorite writing challenges and the types of scenes and characters you love (and hate) to write? Do you have a favorite character or scene?

My biggest writing challenge is consistency. I love writing stories that can be read a second time through and I drop 'easter eggs' in the text to reward re-reading, but that means I have to plan a lot and know my text backwards and forwards. I spend a fair amount of time fact-checking myself because no matter how I change something in the first book it better make sense once everything is revealed in the last book.

I love mouthy characters, the kind that seem to write their own lines. I am a huge fan of dialogue so my favorite characters are inevitably the talkers. The scenes that I dislike writing are fight scenes. They take the most time and work and require the most planning. Because of that I dislike writing strong silent type characters. They don't talk much and they cause fights, two knocks against them. :)

So, you've gone indie because while you did have interest from agents, they always found a reason to reject, you, right? (Please correct me if my memory is wrong.) What do you think of the indie movement and of so-called traditional publishing?

That's correct, either that or the typical form rejection of "sorry, but I cannot look at your work now, etc." It is very frustrating!

Traditional publishing definitely gives an author a leg up if they can secure an agent and contract. But with the internet and growing online communities and tools, an author can reach an audience on their own. Which is why I think the indie movement is the way things are headed. It's not an easy course to take, but neither is traditional publishing.

Indie authors face two major challenges to the success of their book: marketing and prejudice. The former can be conquered with hard work, luck, and some money. The latter though is harder. I believe that the average reader has bought into the notion that if your story is good enough that means that you'll eventually get an agent and get published. Therefore anything that is self-published means that the writer isn't good enough and the story isn't worth their time. But the reality is that most publishers put out a story because they think it will sell, equating that with it being a good, original story is just...wrong.

I went the indie route because the royalties are better, and I do not want to wait until the market picks up before I query agents again. I think this is a good time to be an indie author, we can set our prices and advertise how we wish.

...I could go off on this topic for awhile. :P

Finding an audience can be tricky for some indie writers.

There's one thing I wish I could change about myself when it comes to writing, and that is to be satisfied with the craft of writing by itself. The nagging itch for outside confirmation and approval is a serious writing buzz-kill.

I would continue to write even if I knew I'd never turn into a success story, because I love doing it. I love telling stories and sharing ideas with my small group of readers and friends. Their comments and feedback can make my day. So I wish I could just drop the need to get validation from some grand third party, an editor, or large audience. Maybe that need drives authors to write more, to edit endlessly, and proofread until they go blind. But I would do all of that regardless, because I truly enjoy the process.

From speaking with other writers it seems to be a common affliction and I suppose it comes with the territory. Even knowing that...it's still major buzz-kill.

Darcy's blog: http://navigatorsanddemons.wordpress.com/

"Morningstar" Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Morningstar-Trilogy/188501114520596

Purchase "Morningstar" on Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005WOS448

Disclaimers listed for my works

2011-11-18T03:56:00.001-08:00

For people who want disclaimers, here they are for my works:

"Third": in progress - none (posting this because the rough draft is being posted in installments)

"The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories": None

"Waiting": One character may or may not have tried to commit suicide BEFORE the story begins, issue of if it was actually attempted suicide is never resolved)

"Strange Bedfellows": Fleeting references to abuse at an anti-gays camp for children; one character has a dead/drowned child (happens BEFORE the book opens)

"The Odd Couple": One character's son committed suicide before the book opens (this is in the current blurb), one character was raped before the book opens.

"Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories": "Every Day" - a character contemplates suicide; "The Doctor" - child molestation references; "Guardian Angel" narrator is a possible serial killer/mentally ill person -- Possibly not.

Free on Kindle! (Updated: Free on Nook now, too)

2011-11-15T09:31:00.000-08:00

Great news! Amazon and Barnes and Noble have dropped the price of "Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories" to free.

Links here:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Smashwords
iTunes

The collection has seven short stories. The lead story is "Miss Lucy Parker."

- "A Weird Situation" excerpt

- "Miss Lucy Parker" excerpt

"Miss Lucy Parker" Miss Lucy Parker is a prim, proper elderly lady. When a Volkswagen Beetle—the new kind, and pink—PINK!—turns onto the winding road that leads to Lucy's farmhouse, Lucy is sure the car's occupants are lost. And that the car contains hippies, because hippies drive Volkswagen Beetles. Lucy plans to tell the hippies to get lost. She has no need for their odd speech, beads and marijuana aroma. Except hippies are not in the car. A woman is, a woman wearing a short, blood-red dress that hugs her body. Thus begins Lucy Parker's great adventure.

"A Weird Situation" Karen does not believe her boyfriend when he tells her that he turns into a woman for seven hours every day.

"The Interview" The person interviewing Debby has a giant booger. Should she tell him and risk not getting the job?

"First Day at Work" A security guard's first day at a bank has repercussions for him and three workers.

"Every Day" A man struggles every day to follow through on a promise to himself.

"The Doctor" A doctor salivates at the prospect of delivering bad news to a twelve-year-old girl and her mother.

"Guardian Angel" Gabriel fancies himself a guardian angel. But is he really?

“Deaf as a Post” — except the post can lipread just fine and respond just fine ;-)

2011-11-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

Last night, I watched an excellent movie. It got every detail right, it had no loopholes, no head-scratchers, and a deaf character was portrayed brilliantly. I came away from the movie thinking: "I have to make room on my Top 10 list for this gem."

Okay, so I'm being sarcastic. Sue me. (That was sarcastic, too. Please don't sue me! :-D) This movie brings to the forefront the importance for writers and filmmakers to get their details right. Yes, a few details will slip by, and I (yes, even I!) can overlook a few.

The movie in question ("Faces in the Crowd") stars the lovely Milla Jovovich. She witnesses a killing, and the killer is alerted to her presence when her cellphone rings. The killer pushes her character into a river, but a homeless person is there to fish her out. Flash forward to when she awakens from a coma. She has a face-recognition disorder. Faces change every time she looks at them. She cannot recognize her own fiance, her best friends, or even herself in the mirror.

And a killer is most likely after her!

One of the people she turns to for help is a woman who specializes in this kind of face-recognition stuff. They have a meeting, and the woman acts and talks as she should. Second meeting: the woman announces she is deaf. She looks to be about 65ish, but when she was 16, a horse-riding accident caused her to become "deaf as a post." She gets by from lip-reading.

WHAAA? At this point, I paused the movie and gave my wife A LOOK. She knows that look. I've given her that LOOK many times when we're watching a movie with a deaf (or hard of hearing) character. My wife knows me. She grinned big and said: "Okay, you want to stop the movie?"
I laughed and said: "No, let's finish this."

Time to break this gem down.

1) This woman, and I quote from her, is "deaf as a post." She wears no hearing aids, no cochlear implants, no assistance, nothing. She relies on lipreading. Let me tell you something. Lipreading is not as easy as movies might make it seem. Some people are incredibly easy to lipread, yes. But even with these people, you understand maybe 90 percent, 95 percent, at best, of what they say. For a shrink who works in a darkened room and who listens to patient ramblings, that 5 percent is critical. And that's assuming ALL her patients are easy to lipread. Many, many people are not. Milla Jovovich was not, and the policeman who worked on the case was not, either. One scene cracked me up with the policeman. He was sitting side by side with the shrink. He talked. The shrink understood him! My wife said: "Wow. She can lipread from the side." A few scenes later, the shrink said: "Slow down! I can't read your lips!" Good for another laugh.

Lipreading training helps. But this woman responded right away to what people said. She did not need to process anything. It was just ridiculous.

2) A 16-year-old who became deaf and who is now about 65ish would have developed a slight (at least slight) "deaf accent," especially if she has no hearing aids or a CI. Even with speech therapy.

3) The deafness added nothing to her character. I'm perplexed why they made her deaf. They certainly did not portray her as deaf.

This movie has a lot of other problems going against it, too. Milla's character is a classic horror movie dumba$$. For example, in one scene when a killer is after her, she runs from a populated area into a desolate area. In another scene, she's holed up in what is basically a safe house, and she gets a text purportedly from her ex-fiance to meet her. So she up and goes to meet him. Whaaaa?

Urgh. Stay away from this thing, unless you like watching movies that are so bad you have to watch them. In this case, fully recommended. It's a shame. The premise could have worked brilliantly.

Short Stories, Why Do I Love Thou?

2011-11-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

I love short stories, both for reading and writing. I just released my second short-story collection, "The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories." It's on Amazon and Smashwords for $2.99 and totals about 21,000 words. It should be on BN soon too. (I"ll update this with a link when it is.) For blurbs and excerpts, click this blog entry here. To read "The Old Woman," the lead story, in its entirety, click here.

Why do I love short stories?

As a reader:
- For one thing, short stories are short. They're perfect for a quick hit (or quick hits) if you have, say, fifteen or thirty minutes and don't want to get engrossed in a book. Or if you want to read for only ten minutes before bed.

- They're just plain fun. In one book, you can get a wide range of subjects, styles and genres. I often read short stories in quick bursts, but just as often, I'll relax with a short-story collection for a longer amount of time.

- You can also get a taste of an author's writing style, and the brevity of shorts means you can expose yourself to many, many authors. (As an aside, I recommend Jeffery Deaver's short story collections "Twisted" and "More Twisted." They ROCK and have stayed with me since I read them several years ago. I really like his books, but to me, his shorts are where he shines.)

As a writer:
- Short stories provide flexibility and experimentation in quick hits. Short stories allow you to flex your creative muscles without putting in the huge effort and energy required for a novel. For example, in my short story "Polly Wanna Cracker," I write from the point of view of a parrot. Could this sustain an entire novel? Yes, probably, but it's not something I necessarily want to do for an entire novel. Short stories also allow me to tackle subjects I might not otherwise. I also write many comedic short stories. Comedy is something I don't do a whole lot in my romance novels.

- A quick sense of accomplishment: You can sit at your computer for two hours and have in front of you a pretty durn good short story. It will need editing, of course, but you have that "I wrote something" feeling of accomplishment in a relatively short time.

- You can put a short story up free and showcase your writing style.

I'm sure there are other reasons, but they escape me right now ;-)

So, anyway, I hope you check out "The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories." Also check out "Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories" free at Smashwords. It's also available on Kindle, though for $2.99. It should be free at BN soon.

"The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories"

2011-11-09T11:30:00.000-08:00

I haven't said Sasquatch in my blog lately, so here are some Sasquatches.

Sasquatch

In other, non-Sasquatch news, here are blurbs and some excerpts from "The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories." Look for it on Kindle, Nook and Smashwords. The cover is not finalized but should be by Sunday. This short-story collection is about 21,000 words and will sell for a steal of $2.99.

EXCERPT .pdf (no download required)

Funeral Olivia takes a drastic step to combat lesbian bed death.

EXCERPT .pdf (no download required)

The Lesbian Curse Becky and Katy are in middle school and tussling over a boy. Becky curses Katy, saying Katy will become a lesbian.

EXCERPT .pdf (no download required)

What Girlfriend? Bobbie hopes her one-night stand won't pull the U-Haul trick.

EXCERPT .pdf (no download required)

Haunted Haunted people? Sure, they're everywhere. Haunted houses? Oooh, spooky. Good movie fodder. Excellent for campfire scares. Haunted cars? They’re not unheard of. But haunted pens? Yep, they exist, as Linda and Victoria find out when such a pen brings them together.

EXCERPT .pdf (no download required)

Fortune Best friends Jackie and Emma go to a fortune teller. Emma is shocked when the teller reveals to Jackie that Emma is her secret admirer.

EXCERPT .pdf (no download required)

Lili from the Future It's a dream many people have; your future self visits you and fucks you. EXCERPT .pdf (no download required)

Lizzie Twelve-year-old Shel is not sure if her best friend means it when he says he's going to kill a person.

EXCERPT .pdf (no download required)

The blurb for "Third"

2011-11-04T18:53:00.000-07:00

The blurb for "Third":

Helen Franklin is horrified when her dying father leaves her a most unusual inheritance: a woman. Furthermore, the woman, Anne, is anything but ordinary. She is a time traveler with a tragic past. Helen tells herself she does not have time for Anne. Yalia, Helen's wife, has been distancing herself from Helen for three years, and Helen needs to decide if she wants to save their marriage.

Then the unexpected happens; a romantic relationship develops among Yalia, Anne and Helen. Can the three of them figure out their lives together, especially when time might be running out for Anne?

Funny line in "Strange Bedfellows" review

2011-10-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. Coffee Time romance posted a good review of "Strange Bedfellows" today. One line made me chuckle, and a few other people noticed it right away and commented on it too. First, a small explanation: Coffee Time is a mainstream site, so its focus is straight romance.

Here is a link to the review: http://coffeetimeromance.com/BookReviews/strangebedfellowsbyqkelly.html

Here is the funny line, with the relevant part bolded: "This romance, however, is a bit more complicated than that, although with them being women that should not come as too much of a shock."

Someone on G+ said she thought the perception of two women together would be as peace makers living in harmony, but then she brought up PMS issues ;-) It's kind of funny to see how other people might perceive lesbians together. I, as usual, think it depends on the individuals in the coupling, no matter if the coupling is gay or straight.

Anyway, I am very appreciative of this apparently straight reviewer for doing a lesbian book review.

My Summer in the Clinton White House (Rather, the Clinton Executive Office Building)

2011-10-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

A lot of things happened one summer not too long ago, but a few things stand out.

1) John F. Kennedy Jr. died.
2) I had a July 4 celebration that will never be repeated (probably not, anyway).
3) I delivered the president of the United States of America his daily newspaper.
4) My apartment was broken into, and the president consoled me.

So, I was a White House intern! Yay. Except I worked mostly in the Executive Office Building next to the White House, not the White House itself. It was the summer after the Monica scandal exploded. I was an undergraduate student at Gallaudet University, and I was forced to buy business suits for the first time. Major blaaaa ;-) I was placed in the mail analysis department. My job was to read President Clinton's mail and sort letters for responses accordingly. I started in snail mail and later read email too (printed emails). This was before email caught on, like it is today, so I have to wonder how many snail mails there are now. (Tip: to really stand out, send your correspondence snail mail and write on a somewhat obscure issue, or find a fresh angle. All the emails on the Columbine shooting said the same thing.) So, I'd read mail and code each piece of correspondence for the proper form response. For example, if you were writing to praise President Clinton in general, you got a different response than if you were writing to criticize him. Same as if you wrote on a certain issue.

Some letters required follow up, and these were set aside for AGLIAS (agency liaison). For example, one person wrote about the government taking his farms away. AGLIAS followed up. If a letter was especially memorable, it went into a batch. That batch would be further narrowed down and the top one (or several) letters were given to the president to read each week. I'm not sure if he responded to these personally.

I don't know if this system is still in effect today, but something resembling it probably is.

****

I met Buddy, President Clinton's dog, many times. One time I baby sat him, and what I remember most is he liked to knock over trash cans. I can't tell you how sad I was when I heard that Buddy had been hit by a car in New York and died (after Clinton's terms). Apparently, the Clintons did not leash Buddy or have a fence. (I don't know for certain one way or the other, but that is what the newspaper report said.)

****

July 4 was on the White House lawn with the Clintons, lots of other people, and all the free ice cream anyone could want. How cool is that, to watch fireworks on the White House lawn, with the president? Freaking cool, that's how cool ;-) I also remember later that night, Clinton came out and announced Al Gore's first grandchild had been born. It was a true family environment, and I really liked it. People did not talk much about the Monica scandal.

****

State visits and ceremonies were great. The president of Germany visited, and I got to go to that. I also went to some sort of eagle (as in the bird) ceremony. Also a ceremony with the U.S. women's soccer team. Other ceremonies I forget, but there were quite a few. It was also common to pass VIPs in the halls. (Donna Shalala is SHORT, and coming from 5'2 me, that is saying a lot.)

****

I love the Christmas cards from Bill and Hillary. Bill Clinton was, and is, a very flawed man. But I think he was a good president. Hillary would have been, too. Now, let me say one thing. I am an INDEPENDENT. I am not registered Democratic or Republican. I think there is room for both parties, and I agree with both parties on many issues. Like I say a lot, the world is gray, not black and white. No one wanted to talk about the Monica issue while I was an intern, so here's my nuts-and-bolts take on it. A certain breed of man usually becomes a politician. These types, for whatever reason(s), cheat. That's simply how it is. That does not mean they're bad people or bad politicians. When the John Edwards scandal broke, I could see where Edwards was coming from, especially if all the stories about Elizabeth Edwards' temper and control tendencies were true. I felt for them both, John and Elizabeth, and their family.

If you marry a politician, you're in for a world of eyes on you. But the pros will hopefully outweigh the cons. Go into such a marriage with your eyes open.

****

John F. Kennedy Jr., his wife, and his sister-in-law... wow. Their deaths caused a definite pallor over Washington, and I felt it keenly. At work, we watched TV a lot (searches for bodies, funerals, etc.). Men and women cried.

All of a sudden, I think people (Republicans too) realized Monica did not matter and never should have. John Kennedy Jr. was dead.

Number One! :-)

2011-10-24T06:50:00.000-07:00

I have a little story that ties into how indie publishing (or I should say, indie authors) is thriving, in many ways, in the lesfic community.

Last week, my book "Waiting" hit #1 on the Amazon lesbian list. This means it was the #1-selling lesfic book on Amazon. Needless to say, I was happy. HAPPY! 100,000,000-point-font HAPPY. "Waiting" had hit #3 soon after its release but had not hit #1 yet. That took a couple of weeks after it hit #3. It stayed at #1 for a few days, and since then it has hovered in the top 15.

Here is where matters get interesting. What I noticed when looking at the top 10 (when "Waiting" was #1) is that four of the top ten books were indies.

Would "Waiting" have hit #1 if it was not indie? Possibly, but what I DO know is that it hit #1 as indie. (And that "Strange Bedfellows" hit #1 in Germany with me as indie.)

"Waiting" was rejected by a big-name lesfic publisher. The publisher said "Waiting" was excellently written but simply was not marketable, especially as a romance. ("Waiting" certainly is not a formulaic romance.) I hope I've proved that publisher wrong about sales. Of course, only the long term will say if "Waiting" continues to sell decently. What I do know is that many people have written to me, saying they enjoy seeing romances that are not fluff.

So, back to the #1 thing. I imagine several factors drove sales, such as the strength of "Strange Bedfellows," a review by Salem West over at Rainbow Reader, and just the "Waiting" plot summary. I also think the $6.99 price tag had a lot to do with it. No way I could sell my books at $6.99 with a publisher. So, who knows, your chances of being #1 as an indie may be better than with a regular publisher. This goes without saying, but I will say it anyway-- AS LONG AS your book has at least a decent cover, is properly written, properly edited, all the etcs.

Saying Goodbye (but not really, I hope)

2011-10-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

Life really is imitating one of my books, "Waiting." I blogged earlier about a transgender character in "Waiting" and how my child recently came out as transgender. Also in "Waiting," one character gives up her children because she does not feel capable of doing the best by them. Again, I was in that situation a few days ago.

Backing up...

In March, my wife told me she had met a sixteen-year-old she wanted us to adopt. I agreed, and we went through DSS classes, the whole shebang, to get the child. The child had problems, but nothing my wife and I could not handle. Throughout the summer, we went to the group home where the child (I'll call her Celeste from now on) lived. The next step was to have Celeste over to our house for day visits. These turned into overnights, and then weekends. And then Celeste was living with us part time.

Everything was going pretty well. Celeste was a motivated, smart kid who wanted to succeed and do well in life.

A little more than two weeks ago, Celeste moved in full time, and custody was signed over to me and my wife. Things gradually went downhill, but starting about Wednesday last week, they took a sharp turn for the worse. One incident that stands out to me is that my wife was physically ill and had been since Monday from dealing with all of Celeste's crap. Wednesday she was trying to nap, but Celeste would not let her, waking her up three times. When I told Celeste to let my wife sleep, Celeste yelled and screamed and banged and slammed doors. I'm not sure why this one stands out most to me compared with other incidents. Maybe because it, to me, shows a basic lack of decency. Let the woman sleep, for goodness' sake. Everything else can be attributed to, say, being a teenager or to other issues. But not that.

I dunno. Not the point anyway ;-) So, we had cops over to our house more times than I care to realize.
Thursday night was bad. Celeste overdosed on sleeping medications, and we called police and paramedics. Melanie was about to drop dead from exhaustion. DSS said we had to take Celeste home from the ER. My wife was hoping we could get respite care for the weekend and be able to approach Celeste anew in a few days.

When we got home, my brain was so frazzled, I locked the keys in my still-running car. Argh. We had to wait for a tow truck.

About 1:30 a.m., my wife went into the bathroom and found a knife under the showerhead. She had already said she didn't want either one of us to be alone with Celeste. I had, however, felt safe enough. Until the knife.

The knife.

Wow. It freaked me out. And it was the last straw for Melanie, my wife. She did not feel capable of dealing with Celeste's problems and did not think she would even after respite care. We made the decision we had to relinquish Celeste.

The next day when Celeste found out, she yelled and cried and screamed and said we overreacted to the knife. But Celeste would never say WHY she put it there. Maybe she does not know, and that kind of scares me more than anything. She put a knife in the bathroom and did not know why.

We had to leave without saying goodbye. But it turns out we can stay in Celeste's life, if she wants us to. That makes me so happy. No more overnights, but we can still do emails, phone calls and day visits with Celeste--only if she wants us to, of course. Celeste turns seventeen years old in a few weeks. I told Melanie I have a feeling that when Celeste turns eighteen (or finishes her senior year in 2013, one of the two), she is going to show up at our door and ask to move back in with us.

Melanie and I are inclined to let her. We know we made mistakes. So did DSS and the group home. We were woefully under-prepared. We will be better prepared this time, and now that Celeste would be an adult, we don't have to be as much "mothers." What killed me most about giving Celeste back was that she would never have a home to go to, so I'm glad her social worker is keeping communications open.

"Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories"

2011-10-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

Hey, everyone. I wanted to let you know I've released a short-story collection. And...wait for it...a favorite four-letter "F" word. No, not that one. The OTHER four-letter "F" word.

FREE!

Yep, that is right. This short-story collection is free, at least for a promotional period. Who knows how long that period will be? Probably a week, at least. I will see how things go. When (if) I charge for this collection, I envision a price of $2.99 or thereabouts. So, still affordable.

This collection is called "Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories." This is a general fiction collection, which means that these stories appeal to anyone, whether they be a Sasquatch, an umbrella, or gay or straight. Sexuality is not an issue. However, in a month or so, I am releasing a lesbian short-story collection. The general fiction collection cover was ready first, so it goes out first. I am undecided on whether I will do a free period for the lesbian short-story collection.

Anyway, I do not plan either collection in print. If you want print, then go to Smashwords and choose the .pdf option. You can print a .pdf. This collection is available now on Smashwords and will be up on Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook as soon as the sites go through their usual process.

Two "warnings":
-- Amazon and BN would not let me set the price as free. My understanding of how "free" works with them -- they have crawlbots that search for lower prices on other sites. If they find lower prices, they match that price. So, once the crawlbots find the free price on Smashwords, then Amazon/BN should lower to free the $0.99 price I had to set.

-- The BN file has an error in the second story. Wait to upload this file until I have posted another go-ahead.

I have posted partial excerpts of two of the stories ("Miss Lucy Parker" and "A Weird Situation") on my website:(http://qkelly.blogspot.com).

- "A Weird Situation" excerpt

- "Miss Lucy Parker" excerpt

The collection has seven short stories. The lead story is "Miss Lucy Parker."

"Miss Lucy Parker" Miss Lucy Parker is a prim, proper elderly lady. When a Volkswagen Beetle—the new kind, and pink—PINK!—turns onto the winding road that leads to Lucy's farmhouse, Lucy is sure the car's occupants are lost. And that the car contains hippies, because hippies drive Volkswagen Beetles. Lucy plans to tell the hippies to get lost. She has no need for their odd speech, beads and marijuana aroma. Except hippies are not in the car. A woman is, a woman wearing a short, blood-red dress that hugs her body. Thus begins Lucy Parker's great adventure.

"A Weird Situation" Karen does not believe her boyfriend when he tells her that he turns into a woman for seven hours every day.

"The Interview" The person interviewing Debby has a giant booger. Should she tell him and risk not getting the job?

"First Day at Work" A security guard's first day at a bank has repercussions for him and three workers.

"Every Day" A man struggles every day to follow through on a promise to himself.

"The Doctor" A doctor salivates at the prospect of delivering bad news to a twelve-year-old girl and her mother.

"Guardian Angel" Gabriel fancies himself a guardian angel. But is he really?

Writing Durn Bad Book Reviews

2011-10-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

On my other blog site, I write book reviews, among other things. Some of the reviews are quite a bit longer than others, and a couple have been so well received the books' (mainstream) authors Twitted about the reviews and commented on them.

Anyway, a lot of people wonder what makes a good review, and there's a lot of information on that out there. So I'm going to tweak the focus here a bit and tell y'all how to write a BAD review.

Then do the opposite to write a good review ;-)

To write the baddest, awfulest, crappiest review ever:
1. Do like a Thanksgiving meal and gorge the review on empty adjectives such as good, great, excellent, terrible, awful and so on -- with no follow-up. Say something like: "This book was good" and DO NOT EXPLAIN WHY. Never, never elaborate, especially with specifics. Explaining why and using specifics might move your review into decent territory.

2. Keep the review at one sentence with vague adjectives. Enough said! BUT if you're feeling fearless, write a long, long, long review with nothing but empty, vague, craptastic adjectives. Make your former English teacher cry.

3. Write at least one spoiler. Or better yet, write something completely wrong. Make up characters. Make up plot lines.

4. Be a little trickster and review another book entirely. Tee-hee!

5. Open a window. Gather the rules of the English language. Who needs periods, for example? Not a bad review! Toss everything out.

And there ya have it. Feel free to comment and leave more tips on how to make a BLAH BLAH BLAH review.

Order "Waiting" in print

2011-10-14T12:42:00.000-07:00

Order "Waiting" in print here. It should be on Amazon in a few days as well as on the Ride the Rainbow books website.

And read a great review here by Salem West.

Listen to a Cocktail Hour podcast on "Strange Bedfellows" here.

A Rose Is a Rose...Except It Isn't ;-)

2011-10-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

OK, ladies, gentle pens and Sasquatches. I love typing Sasquatches. Sasquatches, Sasquatches, Sasquatches. Speaking of Sasquatches, I mentioned to one of my readers I was thinking of doing a lesbian romance with the leads as a Sasquatch and a human woman. My reader was horrified, but I still like the idea. I can pull it off :D

On to the topic of this blog post: Waiting." Let me explain how two "Waiting" subplots came to be (well, three, really). I had a nice, spanking, edited copy of "Waiting." One problem: the word count was too short for publishers. Publishers like to see at least 60,000 words for a book. Some publishers will accept 40,000 words, but these books have to be "light." "Waiting" is not "light," so something in the neighborhood of 45,000 words would not do. I tried to see where I could expand in several areas, but I'd adequately covered the main plot. Here's what one of my readers said yesterday: "You have a style that I'm not sure how to describe. The best I can come up with is compact, you pack a lot into your story with minimal words. Personally, I like it and find it refreshing."

So, I'd packed a good deal into 45,000 words and I didn't see where the main plot needed expansion. So, I added a few subplots. After I was done with THEM, I thought: "Yep. "Waiting" is improved, actually." And I still think that. These subplots added more and moved up the first kiss between Caris and Lena, which went off beautifully and upped the tension.

And I really do think "Waiting" is the better for the subplot additions. I've been through a great deal in my life. And life keeps throwing me more issues. I'm still ticking, and so are my characters ;-) This is not to say I think my writing is perfect and needs no improvement. No one's perfect, and I hope to improve with each book. I take reader feedback seriously. Now that I am true-blood indie, I don't have to worry about publisher word count guidelines, and I can add (or do without) as many subplots as I like.

"Waiting" and being transgender

2011-10-12T08:47:00.001-07:00

I'm extremely proud of "Waiting," a book of mine that came out a few days ago. One of the characters, Dale, is transgender (female to male) but told only a couple of people. One of the people Dale could NOT tell was his wife. I am not quite sure where the idea for "Waiting" came from. (It's about a lot more than transgender stuff, by the way.) I do know that I was shocked when one of my exes told me that she (he) had had hormones and surgery and was a guy now. And that he'd known he was a guy while he was with me. Before, actually. We were together for three years in college. Did I feel betrayed, even though by the time he told me, we had been off for about ten years and I had been in several other relationships?

Yes, oddly (or perhaps not oddly) I did feel betrayed. I wish he'd told me. I could have used these three years for something else. But, what is done is done. This person was able to admit to others who he really was in his mid-twenties. Dale, my character, is fifty-six when the book opens.

I recently read an article about a child, SEVEN YEARS OLD, who knows he is transgender. SEVEN! Wow. I was shocked, but then I imagine if you know something's off, you're going to know it from a very early age. I am glad that society is opening up more and becoming more accepting of transgenders and of queers.

A couple of weeks ago, my sixteen-year-old child told my wife that he was transgender, that he felt like a woman (a straight woman) in a man's body. I'll call my child Celeste (don't want to use real names, because we are adopting her and DSS doesn't allow real names/pictures to be used in such a public place as this). This blog post is for my child, who asked me to do this. I think more than anything, she wants me to do this to make public my approval for her and that my feelings for her have not changed.

I am extremely proud of my child and glad I am able to provide a safe place for her to be herself. She used to live at a group home (all boys). She was afraid to come out then, to wear makeup and nail polish and such. Now she wears makeup and nail polish. She has a YouTube video blog documenting her self-discoveries and her transition process. She is very open about all this, and I can't help but think of all the people like Dale in my story who, unfortunately, were not able to be true to themselves, for whatever reason. Dale grew up in a different time, but I know that many transgenders today still hide.

And sometimes I wonder why MORE don't hide when stuff like what has happened to my child happens. For example, one of the counselors at her school told her a few days ago: "You won't make a pretty girl." And this is a COUNSELOR! At a school that is supposed to provide a therapeutic environment. Come on folks. Get over yourselves and get a life. It's because of people like the counselor that many people are scared to be true to themselves.

What was my child's response? An assertive: "It's a good thing I don't need your approval" or something like: "You would know about ugly, because you're so ugly yourself?" I'm not sure what she said actually (I need to nail that down later today), but I think her response was the same as what she told me after school that day.

My child agreed. She said: "You're right. I won't make a pretty girl."

The road is long. Very long.

Groupies and Frappies and Workdays

2011-10-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

I have a groupie! A true, honest-to-God groupie. Maybe two, actually. Yay. Go me! So, my groupie was telling me: "I kinda wish you would do a little blog entry on your website that goes something like: 'A day in the life of the independent author Q. Kelly.' I've seen a few similar blogs and they are always quite interesting."

My response was something along the lines of: "Good idea, but each of my days are so different, especially when I am in publishing and cover design mode." For example, I have not had a true writing day in what seems like forever. Oh, sure, I've written here and there for an hour or two, but that's it. And it's still going to be a while before I do any pure, fresh writing, because my next project is revising and editing two short-story collections, and tracking down cover stuff. No fresh writing there, either. My schedule varies dramatically from day to day and also depends on what is going on with my freelance writing and editing gigs -- and lately, my new kid and being her chauffeur.

So, I told my groupie, no can do. My schedule's too unpredictable for a "day in the life of..." But guess what? While I was getting my daily treat today, I realized that no matter what I'm doing on a particular day, each day has some common acts.

My number one thing every day:
FRAPPY! I usually get this from Barnes and Noble (cheaper with my membership card). I always get a grande mocha nonfat, no whipped cream, please add chocolate drizzle, NOT a lite. I go soon after I wake up. WHEN I wake up varies. Could be as early as 7 a.m. or as late as 10:30 a.m. There are two Barnes and Nobles in my town. I'll go to either one. Sometimes I stay and read a book or read magazines. It just depends.

I used to work at a newspaper doing copy editing and front-page design. I generally worked from 4:30 p.m. to 1 a.m. My routine then still included FRAPPY! I'd get maybe three hours of writing in a day.

Other things I do every day:
**Chat on Facebook and G+. Procrastinate ;-)

** Play a new game. It's called Kindle sales stock market. It's like watching election results. "Oooo! My book sold three copies in the past hour. Let's see how much it goes up in the rankings. It went into the top 10! Oooo YAY YAY YAY WOOO *Kindlegasm* " that kind of stuff ;-) OR, "None of my books have sold in three days. I'm done. I'm so depressed. Whhhhhhhhy aren't people buying? What can I do to spur sales? Damn it, I can't accept this. I've got to do something!" ;-)

** Wish I could have a second frappy. I don't, because of the money and well, do I really need a second frappy? No. But dayum, these frappies are GOOD. So, yep, I wish for a second one every day. And, shh, don't tell me this, but sometimes I doooo get a second ;-) Last time I did was at 9 p.m., and I was up all night. Durn you, caffeine.

What I do some days:
** Exercise. Could be a greenway walk, or a hike, a neighborhood walk or Wiicise (Wii exercise). Looks like I'll be getting a gym membership soon because of a 16-year-old addition to my family, so there's that.

Well, so there ya go. A day in the life of Q. Kelly. :-D

How Is the Indie Experience Shaking?

2011-10-09T15:55:00.000-07:00

In August, I decided to forgo a publishing contract in favor of trying independent (indie) publishing (blog entry explaining this decision here). So, how have I fared? Am I sobbing into wagonfuls of ice cream every night or am I crowning myself the new, glorious triumphant head of Rome?

Neither, really. Going indie has had its ups and downs, but in general I'm THRILLED I went indie. Without a doubt, I made the right decision. I'll talk about the cons first.

Cons:

** The formatting can be a pain in the arse, especially with Kindle. The Kindle preview device is not too good. In theory, what you see on it is what you're supposed to get on the actual Kindle, but in reality, there doesn't seem to be much of a relationship. For example, take the formatting of "Waiting." The book uploaded fine to Smashwords and to Barnes & Noble. No funny formatting, etc. The same file uploaded so-so to Kindle. Some lines (paragraph indents) did not line up with others, and some paragraphs were wholly indented. Bizarre. Plus the table of contents had one out-of-align chapter and chapter number. I simply couldn't figure out the issue. "Waiting" was my third book for upload, so I wondered if I should just go ahead and approve it. I knew from previous experience that the Kindle preview would show nonexistent problems. I didn't want to take that risk, though. What I ended up doing was uploading an .epub file (from BN) to Kindle. That returned much less errors, and I clicked approve. Once "Waiting" showed up for sale on Kindle, I downloaded a sample. The remaining so-called errors in preview were not there. So... who knows what's going on with that Kindle preview.

** Cover design has been a scramble. Joy Argento did a lovely cover for "Strange Bedfellows." However, she'd be busy and wouldn't have much time for "The Odd Couple" and "Waiting." I was going to do both myself, and then a friend volunteered to do "Waiting." and I took it upon myself to do "The Odd Couple." Now, I used to be a newspaper designer. I designed front pages for a daily midsize newspaper, and I even won a first-place award for Virginia newspaper design. Despite all that, I don't own a good design program such as Photoshop or InDesign. And the truth is, I'd rather not to have to worry about the covers. I like handing them off to someone, giving a few ideas, and generally letting people work their magic. I like to be surprised. So, with "The Odd Couple," I searched a good few hours for a photo that would capture the essence of the story. I found the photo. That experience went pretty well, but again, I'd rather not do the design myself if possible. A few days before "Waiting" was supposed to come out, the designer dropped out, saying she didn't feel skilled enough to do it. I was shocked. She'd had more than a month and had a great working design that only needed a few tweaks. I was disappointed, I won't lie. But, ya know, it was what it was. She didn't feel comfortable, and I was not going to try to force something.

This did put me back at square one. Because I'd just done "The Odd Couple" cover, I decided on the same approach for "Waiting": find a picture that captures the story. At last, I found something, but it would be somewhat of a risk. This picture showed a face, and that's something many readers don't want. They want to imagine the characters for themselves. The photo really was perfect, though, so I proceeded. A friend helped with the typography, and we were all set. I think this cover worked out great, and I am very happy with it. Okay, maybe the photo wasn't 100 percent perfect. The woman on the photo (who would be Lena, because her appearance generally matches Lena's) wore a green skirt. Lena wears jeans and T-shirts. Why would she be wearing a green skirt on the cover? I went back into the manuscript and adjusted for that in several spots. Turns out Lena has a favorite green skirt she wears a lot, as if it were a pair of jeans. The skirt does look comfy ;-)

For future projects, I might fork over the $100 and hire a cover designer. Who knows. The key here, I think, is to get someone to do a cover as soon as say, the first draft is done. Or maybe the second draft. The book will have a lot of editing left, but the concept is there. The cover elements are there. The lesson here is to start early on the cover.

** The stigma that lingers for self-publishers. Funny story here. Someone contacted me wanting to buy "Strange Bedfellows." She had a Sony Reader and wanted to know if I was going to make it available through Smashwords or some place friendly to Sony Readers. I said yes, but I wasn't sure when. (Now, Smashwords is the first place I upload to and the easiest. I LOVE Smashwords.) She said she wanted to go ahead and buy a copy from me. She said she read lots of fan fic so she didn't mind reading something self-published. Oh boooooy. Equating my book to fan fic...nope ;-) I referred her to my first post on this blog (explaining why I went indie) and reassured her that her money would be well spent. Guess what? She loved "Strange Bedfellows." Gave it five-star reviews and has become a very close friend of mine. She was one of the last-glance readers for "Waiting." I don't fault her original assumption because I know there are plenty of self-published books that leave much to be desired. The stigma is there, but I hope as I build my brand, it will go away, at least for my books.

Pros!! And they DO outweigh the cons.

The people. People. People. Readers, in other words. Independent may mean alone, not dependent, and begin with "I," but I'll be the first to say my work has not been a sole effort. Yes I did the writing and the rewriting and self-editing, as all authors should do. I also had to market myself alone (I would've had to do this with a regular publisher, however), but I found open arms. I found reviewers, podcast and radio hosts, and many people who were happy to give this relative unknown some exposure. The readers who contacted me about how "Strange Bedfellows" impacted them have been great. I've become close with several, and a few served as last-glance, fresh-eyes readers for "Waiting." Plus, as mentioned above, one stepped in to help me after the "Waiting" cover debacle.

The freedom. The flexibility. I love having this. I can set my own prices and write the stories that need to be told.

The money. In one month, I made about three times more than I had in three years with "The Odd Couple" through a regular publisher. Granted, that publisher never put "TOC" out in e-book, and e-books really have changed the landscape. But it was my gain to put "TOC" out in e-book myself, right? I get a much larger payout doing indie than through a publisher.

Is independent publishing for everyone? Of course not. It works for me at this time because of several reasons. The main one is that I'm a freelance writer and editor. I work from home. I have the time and motivation to do this. If I'm teaching next year, who knows.

So anyway that's my first brush with indie publishing! :-)

"Waiting" (and updated "The Odd Couple" links)

2011-10-07T08:35:00.001-07:00

OK, ladies, germs, tigers and Sasquatches. "The Odd Couple" is for sale on Kindle and BN.com. (And, of course, it's still for sale on Smashwords.)

Now on to "Waiting"! This is a book I started in 2009. Before 2009, actually, in short-story form. "Waiting" has taken a long while to make it to publication. "Strange Bedfellows" was released in August, but it is younger than "Waiting." "Waiting" took so long because it was not gelling at first, so halfway through, I changed one of the romantic leads. After finishing several drafts, I decided to go back to the original pairing. I'd found a way to make that pairing gel. So, a lot of rewriting was involved, and then throw in my normal editorial process (which involves putting aside my work for a few months at least so I go back to it fresh, and having many pairs of eyes go through it).

Bottom line: "Waiting" is being published today. It should be on Smashwords today (Smashwords converts instantly) and on Kindle and BN in the next few days.

I've posted two excerpts for "Waiting."
Excerpt 1
Excerpt 2

Here's what "Waiting" is all about:
Caris Ismay, 30, is falling in love with a woman she dares not pursue, and at exactly the wrong time. Caris knew that life after having her baby would be different, especially since her wife did not love her anymore. But Caris never expected post-baby life to be this difficult. Dale, her wife of three years, is in a coma that turns into a vegetative state. Lena, Dale's 29-year-old daughter, is put in the awkward position of revealing Dale's secrets to Caris.

Caris and Lena share a perfect, passionate kiss that they cannot stop thinking about. Plus, they can help each other in ways no one else can. They try to build a friendship, but their growing attraction gets in the way. Can Caris and Lena move past the taboo of their attraction and find their path together?

Editing Tips

2011-10-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, I post editing tips on my Facebook page, My G+ account and my Twitter. Errors I see during my regular editing work inspire these tips. Here, I've put together a few of these tips. I'll make another blog post along these lines once I have enough tips for another round.

(1) No need to say December of 2001 or May of 2001. Say December 2001, or May 2001.

(2) The phrase "need to have" is redundant. Example: "I need to have a job." Just say: "I need a job."

(3) No need to say "past work experience." The word "experience" takes care of the "past" part. So, just say: "work experience."

(4) Look for common-sense redundancies. Example: "The changing weather outside...." Where else is weather? No need for "outside."

"The Odd Couple"

2011-10-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

OK then, ladies, germs and cats. I've been hard at work on getting the second edition of "The Odd Couple" out. And it's out! At Smashwords, at least. Anytime now, it should be out for the Kindle and Nook as well. (I will post when that happens.) It should also be ready in print in about a week.

This second edition is not a mere re-issuance. The edition has substantial changes compared with the first edition. But did I do a complete rewrite? No, for several reasons.

-First, I felt my writing was fine as is (not as good as it is now, but certainly good). "The Odd Couple" was a finalist for a GCLS award in 2009 (for 2008 printing) for a reason, right? ;-)

- Second, everyone should have a "first" book. It's kind of fun to track the progress of a writer.

Anyway, here's the summary of "The Odd Couple." Read an excerpt here.

*****

Morrisey Hawthorne and her four-year-old son, Gareth, have a pretty good life. Then one day they meet Charlene Sudsbury, who is trying to move on from the suicide of her son, JP, three years before. Gareth is nearly the mirror image of JP, and Charlene connects instantly with him. Not quite so with Morrisey, who can't escape fast enough after Charlene shows her a picture of JP. Charlene is convinced Morrisey is hiding something and sets out in search of the truth.

Despite the circumstances, the two women form an unusual bond and end up with a lot more than they bargained for. But when an old friend of JP's resurfaces, he challenges the fragile trust Morrisey and Charlene have been building.

Can these two women overcome the obstacles that separate them from the happiness they seek?

Q. Kelly's Author Website

"Third" Blurb Change (Again) -- Anne Is Revealed

Readers Like Free. So Should Authors.

Gorgeous!

The print proof for "Third" arrived today. It is gorgeous. Along these lines, "Third" is for sale in print now!https://www.createspace.com/3775921It will take five to seven days to wend its way into the Amazon system, but you can buy it now from CreateSpace.

Unveiling the "Switch" cover -- and LIAC

Different Perspectives of Anne

Covers

Polyamory, Time Travel and Benjamin Franklin

The Heart Is a Wonderful Creature ("Third" Is Out!)

One Sentence Can Make a Difference -- Blurbs (Updated)

Quality vs. Quantity

Indie Update #2

Piracy Chatter

How To Start Indie Right -- Because I'm Selfish

Why I Am Not Reading Reviews Anymore

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Defying Genre

"All in the Family" Is Available in Ebook and Print (Updated with Nook and Print Info)

2012: Writing, Teaching, Or...?

"All in the Family" Proof Arrived

DRM License Plate

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night Once Upon a Time

The Strange, Unpredictable Creature That Is Sales

That Deaf Lesbian Writer

Year-end list of favorite passages!

"Switch"

Which work is most popular with my readers (using email as a metric)?

Eh

My books (from most recent publication to oldest)

Being a Deaf Writer

First Four Chapters of "All in the Family"

Drop your Thursday night plans!

"The Odd Couple" is free on Amazon Kindle today and tomorrow only

"The Odd Couple" in Kindle Select Program

"Strange Bedfellows" wins Rainbow Award!

How dang long does it take me to write a book?

Phair's at the door

"All in the Family" cover and blurb (updated with excerpt)

Lucifer is a fleshed-out protagonist, thanks to Darcy Town

Disclaimers listed for my works

Free on Kindle! (Updated: Free on Nook now, too)

“Deaf as a Post” — except the post can lipread just fine and respond just fine ;-)

Short Stories, Why Do I Love Thou?

"The Old Woman and Other Lesbian Stories"

The blurb for "Third"

Funny line in "Strange Bedfellows" review

My Summer in the Clinton White House (Rather, the Clinton Executive Office Building)

Number One! :-)

Saying Goodbye (but not really, I hope)

"Miss Lucy Parker and Other Short Stories"

Writing Durn Bad Book Reviews

Order "Waiting" in print

A Rose Is a Rose...Except It Isn't ;-)

"Waiting" and being transgender

Groupies and Frappies and Workdays

How Is the Indie Experience Shaking?

"Waiting" (and updated "The Odd Couple" links)

Editing Tips

"The Odd Couple"

The print proof for "Third" arrived today. It is gorgeous. Along these lines, "Third" is for sale in print now!

https://www.createspace.com/3775921

It will take five to seven days to wend its way into the Amazon system, but you can buy it now from CreateSpace.