Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Hi, Mama Technology

A couple of months ago, my blue Ford Focus of about ten years collapsed and could not be resuscitated (unless I was willing to fork over about $5,000 for a new engine). I looked around at cars and fell in love with a 2012 Fiat. Bought it. All went okay for a few weeks, then I realized something.

My parents, or at least their souls, had moved into the damn car. The dashboard console unerringly warned me of many, many ailments. Here are a couple:

- "Oh noes! Look out! One of your tires is, like, dangerously underinflated! GIVE IT AIR OR YOU'LL DIE! PLEASE!" *constant refrain that couldn't be turned off*

- "Oh my goodness! The temperature is below 32 degrees. The roads might get icy and dangerous! Drive carefully! Oh, please!" *constant refrain that couldn't be turned off*

While these warnings were sweet, boy, they made me miss my good ol' Focus. My Focus that didn't have messages from the car scrolling merrily along the console while I drove. My Focus that trusted me enough to use my damn eyes myself and think to myself: "Gee, it's cold. But the weather forecast said nothing about ice or snow, so I'm okay."

I seriously felt like my parents were right there with me, warning me, taking care of me. My dad, especially. Thanks, but no thanks--I don't need a car to parent me. ;-)  I appreciate some kind of technological warning, but the Fiat overdoes it. It thinks snow or ice has been coming every day for the past three weeks, when in fact, nothing of the sort has happened.

Kinda reminds me of when I send an email with no subject line or text, and the email asks: "Are you sure you want to send this?" Yes, Mom, I'm sure. Can I send it now? ;-)

I'm stuck with the Fiat (happily so, though), so I'm taking the preachiness in stride. I have to admit, now that I've gradually gotten used to it, it is nice having someone (or something) look out for me. To care about me like that.

Yeah, you damn car, you big lug. Give me a hug. I love you, too.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very funny! I have an FJ Cruiser that is nothing but a car. There are 5 items on the middle of the dash - Emergency Signal, Radio, Heat/Cold, AC and Foot Warm to Defrost. Nothing else. Completely old school because I myself read maps, know when it's cold outside, and can look at the tires to see if they need air. Still and all, I do find myself yearning for a little Fiat...yours looks cute. They all look cute. Hmm...does the voice have a cute accent, too?